Poll When Did Your Parents Stop Attending Your Doctors Appointments?

[futurefocussed]

Just trying to figure out whether my dad accompanying me to my Dr's appointments until I was 18 or had moved out (can't remember) was normal/appropriate.

 

[The Albatross]

What is this even about? Oh I get it (on the re-read). My parents were neglectful of my medical issues and I went on my own beginning at age 12-13. I had an untreated ulcer at 16 and our family doctor treated me for free for a year.

You're a minor til 18 or were? Who was paying? I took care of my own bills from 16.

 

[Powder]

Just trying to figure out whether my dad accompanying me to my Dr's appointments until I was 18...

What country and is that a culturally protective or expected action on a parent's part there?

In some places, you don't go to the Dr. or hospital and remain alone at any time, regardless of age, ever, due to lack of security and vulnerability to malpractice. In USA, up to 50% of hospital deaths are due to mistakes.
Due to the high rate of sexual assault or mistakes/malpractice that goes unreported, it is not 100% okay to trust all medical staff or hospital security.

(Did your father distrust or have an issue with medical people from prior experience?)

It depends. I mean, I like the protective aspect of a parent staying, but not if that parent is controlling or invasive of privacy, or trying to prevent the child from reporting abuse or the truth in any way. Certain boundaries need to be in place, to respect the child-patient, but also take proper care of him/her. The child's wishes should factor in, too.

I hope my response is helpful. If not, feel free to disregard.

 

[DharmaGirl]

My son is 20, and I ask him if he wants me to come with him. Sometimes yes, sometimes no. Mostly yes, since he has a physical disability that has been ignored by specialists for years.

I'm 58, and my mom still goes with me to appointments sometimes because I forget what I wanted to ask, and when I see the neurosurgeon, I am so stressed I have to have back up.

 

[featherless.wings]

My parents still try to accompany me on dr appointments, and I'm 23. Sometimes they even butt in. I think I managed to make them stop when I got my own car at 22. Awkward. Based on what friends my age say, this isn't really normal.

 

[futurefocussed]

I'm in Australia.
My dad remains to be controlling and invasive.
I couldn't report him because he was there.
Our government take care of the medical bills for children and low income earners.

 

[Powder]

My dad remains to be controlling and invasive.
I couldn't report him because h...

I'm sorry, I don't understand what you mean by "I couldn't report him because he was there."

Your age doesn't have anything to do with the issue if you want to report abuse to a medical provider and that person is present. I'm sorry that there seems to be some power struggle and perhaps traumatic abuse. That's sad. You need to get away from abusive people, period, in order to improve your life in all ways.

Sometimes that is impossible to do all in one big step. For me, I did it in stages with a goal. It took a long time to gain my independence. That is normal for many with abusive parents and lack of support for independence.

I hope you can find ways to gain independence at levels you can handle and feel successful before moving on. Maybe going to the Dr. alone is that first step you can take, or asking the Dr. to speak alone with them even if he is in the room.

I don't know what you need to report, and it is not my business to know. You don't need to tell me.

Whatever it is, though, be careful about your assumptions about what the Dr. could really do. I am consistently surprised at how little support is offered by authority figures or gov't workers of any kind. It is usually up to the survivor to self-advocate, meaning, find ways to gain independence and self-supporting. aka, working full time, finding good doctors, asking for specific therapy or meds based on your own research, etc. It is a lot of work. But it's worth it.

 

[holdenmonty]

For me it was 18 because I went off to the military and they weren't close enough to attend any of my doctors appointments. But I remember when I was younger probably about after I hit puberty when it got to the point where the doctor would close to door to do the whole turn your head and cough to feel for any abnormalities then they would wait outside the door until the doctor opened the door back up for them to come back in.

 

[Nessa7]

There was a lot of medical neglect in my childhood, so I picked 6-10.

I would guess somewhere between fourteen and sixteen would be reasonable for an ordinary appointment with a general practitioner. After sixteen, I would be a little concerned if a parent was insisting against their kid's wishes, even though I do think that there are a lot of reasons that a parent would feel the need to be present that wouldn't be questionable at all.

 

[NoWhereKnowWhere]

11-12 as far as I remember. I would've preferred if someone gave more of a shit. I'm also glad because they were incapable of being supportive so it wouldn't have been good them being there.

 

[Friday]

I enlisted at 17, which like @holdenmonty, is the only thing that stopped them. I'm in my thirties and my mom still wants to accompany me :rolleyes: FFS. Mom. Back. Off. She also gets completely bent out of shape if she doesn't receive a full report of all & everything. Which, sorry Charlie, ain't happening. My family isn't super big on privacy even amongst adults (it's weird in my family that I don't share), and children/teenagers have both zero expectation of privacy, and zero allowance of accountability or responsibility. Very authoritarian. Also very normal-range. Meaning it's not my cup of tea, but that's the extent of it. There's absolutely no history of abuse or neglect in my family. Just also almost no history of "boundaries" >.<.

My friends parents ran the spectrum. Some were making their own appointments & transportation arrangements, others their parents still booked appointments & drove but afforded them their privacy in-office, others were like mine & even when the doctor was like "Please step out," had Velcro on their asses, and refused to leave the chair. :banghead:

 

[whiteraven]

16. And that was a fight. I didn't want them there, because I wanted to talk with the doctor privately, but they wouldn't let me.