Would this upset you?

[shaky]

Several times now my therapist has gone to answer her front door in the middle of my session. I feel really upset when it happens but find it hard to know how much of my reaction is the result of triggered feelings from the past and how much is a normal reaction to what is happening in the here and now. So it might be helpful to know if other people would find this upsetting too, or whether people would consider what she's doing is inappropriate at all. Of course the degree of emotion I feel makes me think it's triggering something and that is probably the main issue here. I've managed to tell her it upsets me and she's said we'll discuss it at the next session so I hope it will get resolved but maybe some input could help beforehand. Thanks for reading.

(ps. My therapy sessions are over the phone now as I've moved to another area, if that makes any difference)

 

[mylunareclipse]

This would upset me a lot. I think it's normal to be upset over something like that, triggered or not.

 

[UnicornSightings]

I'd be really upset as well. Not ok! YOU are the priority. There's no reason she can't let people know not to swing by or put a sign on the door...

 

[shaky]

Thanks UnicornSightings and wishforescape. I was very upset about it last week particularly and phoned up to say it wasn't OK to do it. It's really strange to get my head around it because I've known her for about 15 years and felt I could really trust her. I really don't expect her to be doing something that's not OK, but at least I might get a chance to express that. I hope so. Sometimes I just get so tongue tied.

 

[UnicornSightings]

Whoa. Hold on a second. "I felt I could really trust her". Be really careful there. People aren't perfect. Maybe she has something going on where in her own life and doesn't have this particular thing sorted. It doesn't say ANYTHING about trust. Relationships have hiccups and if you let something small throw you into "I can't trust her anymore" then you're missing a really great chance for growth. Just don't want you spinning down that mindset. See how she handles it first.

Hope it all works out!!

 

[Deleted member 41765]

I can't imagine my T doing this and would definitely feel upset, and trust issues would certainly rear their ugly heads (my T and I are at a point where we are doing phone sessions as well) Well done for speaking up, that took courage, and I am wishing for a healthful repair for you. Stay strong!!

 

[Suzetig]

My T works from home and wouldn't do that without express permission from me. Once in 4 years her door went just at the end of our session, I told her it was ok to answer just in case it was the her next client (though she manages her schedule so that doesn't happen).

I wonder if she thinks it's different because you're on the phone and whoever it is can't see you. It's not ok but in your place I'd just tell her you aren't ok with her answering the door. It's not a PTSD thing, it's a courtesy thing.

 

[shaky]

Whoa. Hold on a second. "I felt I could really trust her". Be really careful there. People are...

Thanks again, that's helpful. She did say she had to answer the door for a delivery and I can sort of see it from her point of view in that it might be really inconvenient for her not to get the door, but I still felt upset about it. I will have to say all this. I hope it will be negotiated OK in the end.

 

[shaky]

I can't imagine my T doing this and would definitely feel upset, and trust issues would certainly rear...

Thanks ShikubuZ. It's good to know people understand. And thanks for the encouragement too.

 

[shaky]

My T works from home and wouldn't do that without express permission from me. Once in 4 years her door...

Thank you Suzetig. Part of me has been feeling that you just don't do that, it's rude. (And then all the other parts get involved too which has caused my confusion.)

 

[mylunareclipse]

Hold on to your anger. You have nothing to apologize about. Guess what when I am work I cannot sign for my packages either when they come to my house. It's in convinient but I cannot just leave work to come sign packages. These are her working hours. She needs to handle it better. I would discuss it with her again.

 

[Suzetig]

Guess what when I am work I cannot sign for my packages either when they come to my house.

I was going to say exactly the same thing - she needs to make other arrangements for deliveries.