Now imagine the same situation. But this time when the stranger approaches your 'intuition' screams "Suicide bomber! Suicide bomber!" even though you no longer live anywhere near a place where that is likely. That is a problem. That is the PTSD.
Fear, intuition, gut feelings are all good if they are warranted by your current context. They are only dysfunctional if they are outside your current context.
Yup. This.
We have to trust our judgement, I know its hard. Ive struggled with this for years and I had to be told I had this issue, i never realised it suprisingly. Im working at it, one painful event at a time haha.
So it drives us crazy, and then we question if its real or not (which might also be because people in our life encouraged us not to listen to ourselves)
Has nothing to do with what other people have told me, just to get that bit out of the way, although I realize you're adding this as a possibility, not a definite. Has everything to do with my responding wrong to the situation at hand.
- I have
hurt people because I've misjudged the situation. I've come close to hurting people, more times than I can count.
- I've
done nothing when action was required. Due to my inaction? People have been hurt. Badly. Including myself, although that's nowhere near as large a concern to me as failing in my duty of care. I'm not talking freeze response, here. I'm talking mixing up when lethal force is called for, versus when parenting super powers (aka patience & calm restraint) are called for. Meaning you do NOT respond to someone trying to kill you the same way you respond to a child having a temper tantrum.
Those are only a couple of examples. Granted, some more extreme ones, but sadly not uncommon (in my life). There are hundreds of other examples in various classes; hypervig, disassociation, triggered, over reactions & meltdowns/shutting down (stressed / stress cup), paranoia, anxiety attacks, cognitive distortions, depression, rage, suicidal ideation & impulse, ...list goes on. And on. And on. Where time after time I am very much dealing with the consequences of not being able to trust myself & my judgement. Where I have to work around the fact that my judgment is -often- f*cked. Where I have to ignore myself, and my better ideas. Where I have to fight against every instinct screaming at me. Because I know I cannot be trusted. Where I have to painstakingly rebuild myself from the ground up. Veeeeeerry back to basics. I can't even trust my own judgement about when/what/how much/how often to
eat. Or sleep. Or what clothes to wear. About how much energy to put into various tasks. What needs doing, and in what order / what is the intrinsic level of importance?
From the most simple of day to day tasks, to the most complex and long running situations...
I cannot trust myself.
I agree. Being able to is important. Knowing when I'm not able to, or when my judgment is suspect? Equally important.
