On my own til end of june, help!

[Deleted member 37474]

I am switching to an emdr therapist, but can't get in with her until the end of June. I may or may not see my most recent therapist one more time. I have had some really bad flashbacks, disassociation with minor self harm and extreme anxiety. Yesterday, I thought I had turned a corner, but when I woke up today, I feel panicky. My dreams aka nightmares have all been about therapy or my college trauma. I was seeing my T once a week, but I feel like she is annoyed by me and my trauma. Plus, I can't afford wasting my limited benefits on her. How do I cope with this?

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

Sorry you're so stressed and anxious. If you don't "waste" your limited benefits on her, where else is there to direct them? Would those options truly be more beneficial than seeing the therapist you've already established a working relationship with? (assuming you've had a good working relationship) Is your feelings of her being annoyed based on her actually saying that, or you just thinking it and your brain has you convinced?

Are there any fairly simple and easily accessible activities you can do on your own that soothe you that perhaps maybe you avoid because it just seems like too much work? I tend to talk myself out of stuff no matter how much better I know I'll feel afterward. Things you really enjoy and can look forward to that can distract your problematic trains of thought into a kinder direction? I sometimes find I know damn well what I could do, but my mind and body don't seem to want to work in concert to make it happen, and even though my body is bigger than my brain, my brain more often wins, until my heart gets involved.

Are there any free resources in your community for fun things you'd really enjoy, educational things that you really want to learn about, therapeutic things offered through local shelters and such that could occupy your time and mind until the end of June, at least? Some places let you volunteer your time and help in ways that best suit your desire to participate in exchange for admission.

I don't know specifics of what you're personally dealing with, so please forgive me if what I'm suggesting isn't helpful. Best wishes in finding relief.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

@TexCat I do not have any idea of how to cope without your therapist except can you do emails or phone sessions? There is always a crisis hot line, not to replace your therapist but to get you through the very tough times with them offering suggestions on how to better cope. I know that I need to be in therapy with what I am dealing with but I simply cannot afford it at this time. Are you also in that positon? I would go to your therapist to get a few suggestions on how to cope in this empty time without your therapist especially to get you safely through june. I wish you the very best in learning what kinds of things you can do.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Sorry you're so stressed and anxious. If you don't "waste" your limited benefits on her, whe...

I get 20 therapy visits a year. After that, the price will be over twice as much. I have used 10 visits already. We had been dealing with my trauma, but she wanted to switch me to the emdr therapist. And there is a 4 week wait. Since her therapy "wasn't working" I don't want to waste the money on it. My brain is transferring feelings of abandonment onto my first T. I know it is irrational, but I can't seem to shake it and then I feel guilty for being mad at her. In the meantime, my anxiety and depression symptoms are roller coasting. And I am on zero meds to help because my T didn't want to go there.