Moving back to apartment where traumatic events occured

[nil]

Hi all
I lived at an apartment for about 10 years and during that time i was exposed to psychological abuse and various traumatic events. i left that place about 25 years ago but even passing from the street of it was very difficult for me till now. i go there from time to time but i feel very uncomfortable. i wish to get out of there as soon as possible. Now i am in need of some place to live and i have to go back to that apartment. Flat will be different. not the same flat but same apartment. would you think i can live there ,face the old traumas and may be resolve them or would moving there harm me ? what do you think? thanks.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Why do you need to go back?

 

[Aideun32]

Im back from school and have to stay back with abusive parents, and this is where i was traumatized. i am having severe flashbacks all the time. Its not pleasant avoid it.

 

[nil]

Why do you need to go back?

i am in need of moving from my current place. i am also very ill and do not have much energy. i own this flat that i mentioned so it will be easier for me to move there. other wise i will have to sell it and look for another place for myself but i don't have any energy to do that. very difficult.would flashbacks never end for us? is it not advised to go back to places traumatic events occured?

 

[Aideun32]

i am in need of moving from my current place. i am also very ill and do not have much energy. i own this fl...

Yea dont itll bring back bad memories

 

[Friday]

There have been times where I'm absolutely fine, even -in many ways- better than fine. Something of a laying ghosts to rest / starting anew.

There have been times where I'm a completely f*cked up disaster on 2 legs.

The difference tends to be whether or not I have any choice.

If I have a choice, even if it's a bad choice (more expensive, more dangerous, etc.), I tend to fall apart. If I don't have a choice, then for whatever reason my head just seems to accept that this is the only reality possible at the moment, and carries on.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

Would it help to paint the walls a different color? I know this sounds silly, but I do premium on here, mainly so that I can change my font color in the chat room. In the smallest of ways, it gives me a sense of control. If I am having a shitty day... I change colors. Feels like a reset. Also, do t we all carry this crap with us wherever we go. Maybe remind yourself that it is just a building, not the cause of your trauma. That is way easier said then done.

 

[Ronin]

Seconding ^^.

Change as many things you can. The ghosts may still live there, but there'll be reminders you're in a different place, even if the place didn't change, the time has. (I still live where my trauma happened, as of the past few years. Redecorating & moving furniture around as much as possible, as well as getting rid of as many old things as I could seems to helped a tiny bit.)

 

[Deleted member 541]

The house that my siblings and I were abused in, my sister bought many years ago. It took me awhile, but I finally realized, it's NOT the house that caused my abuse, it was the people in it. So the apartment you are moving back into... its just an apartment. It has 4 walls, floors and a roof. It didn't abuse you.... Yes, painting and decorating will help.

 

[Lilminks]

I personally would not move back in if you have strong feelings just walking past it. It would trigger you. Unless you have been in Exposure therapy, it would be real risky.

 

[nil]

Thanks so much to all who have answered. you were so helpful. i finally decided not to go there but it was a very difficult decision making process.. best wishes :)