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Sexual Abuse Forum and Military Forum - Any Takers?

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A suggestion:

Sexualabusesurvivors.org

Hiya-this is exactly what I thought of earlier! Or perhaps survivesexualabuse.org?
Are we on the right lines do you think?

I'm going to ask my husband later as he knows more about what domains would work, and I'll ask around on the forum for ideas. It'd be great to work together evergreen:hello: Thanks Anthony for the opportunity and advice, I'll be back tomorrow with more ideas
 
I am so excited to hear about the potential new forum! I joined here for my BF, but will go to the sexual abuse page for myself.

Thank you all for putting so much thought into the needs of others:Hug_emoticon:
 
If you both want to co-admin it, feel free. As I said, it is not something I can do as I am not a sexual survivor... Here is the secret to running a really exceptional forum. Become an open minded expert on the topic, have a lot of patience and listen to your users as you grow the community.

When I began this forum, I learnt as much as I possibly could as fast as I could about PTSD. I then took all that information and began writing my own articles, which are all posted in the information sections. Very little of my content was duplicated, it was more my interpretation of all the content I had learnt, deciphered, rearranged into my own words, then put down on paper. To this day I still review PTSD content, publications and boost my own knowledge.

Sexualabusesurvivors.org was not available.

survivesexualabuse.org was available, so I purchased both the .org and .com domains.
 
I am interested. I would love to help others. I am concerned that I may not have enough time to commit to such a project and I'm also afraid that since it's a new endeavor, I may be no good at it. I may have to discuss with my hubs and get back to you.
 
Anthony -

At first I was a bit taken aback also - I thought this forum was "splitting up" so to speak and I didn't want to see that happen. But now I understand. There is very little information out there for either - especially in support forums - (whether you have PTSD or not). For years, (before I was dx'd with PTSD) - I would search the web to find somewhere where I could get advice on how to handle my feelings about my sexual abuse - I never found much at all to be honest - a blog here or there but nothing really concrete - once I was dx'd with PTSD - boom here you were.

So thank you for recognizing this additional need (for both military and sexual abuse)- and being willing to support its take off.
 
I have thought about this long and hard, yet I'm still a little unsure.

I have to say that I have my doubts about a specific forum for sexual abuse. I have come across a few forums for this and while they are not bad, they are very much full of - sympathy, 'there there's', 'I'm thinking of you' etc; and not a huge amount of advice or challenging peoples mind set. This forum does challenge and does not pamper to the 'pity party' ethos that other forums induldge in.

The reason this forum is different is because of Anthony, the rules he has set, and the principles he has applied to this forum. I would like to see the same values applied to a forum for sexual abuse. But as he has stated, he will not be a member, for obvious reasons. I wonder whether the same princiles would be carried over to a new forum?


I would still like to be a part of this, but for me, it would have to be different from the other forums out there; more like this one. I always wanted to 'give something back', which is part of the reason I volunteered to edit here. I don't think I have enough time to solo admin a new forum (although I really don't really know how much time is involved), but I am interested in helping out and having an active role, if the forum is going to have clear-cut rules, like this one has.

I also feel that I have to say to Anthony (with a preface of saying I have the utmost respect for you :wink: ), I'm very suprised that you seem to have offered the admin of your new forum on a 'first come, first served' basis. Please don't be offended, lovewins and evergreen - I have no doubts that you are more than capable. But there are many members here who don't check in every day, who may be interested in this. I get the impression that, at times you want things done yesterday?!

Regards, CB
 
I get the impression that, at times you want things done yesterday?!

Ahhh....well this can be very true of Anthony. I shouldn't start but he tends to go like a bull at a gate sometimes which is not always to his benefit (health wise). I think his ideas are admirable and I love him for his want to help people but he tends to jump/rush and then deal with the consequences later rather than think everything through first. I am more of a 'Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance' type of person so sometimes we butt heads. :wall: Just MHO and I am sure I will hear about this comment :rolleyes:.
 
CB... lots of people read this thread, but only a few actually will put their hand up for it. This is the prior planning stage now... being this site will be put together over the coming months, as stated in the original post of this thread.

As stated in this thread already, this is a collective idea. You are saying you want to help, but then saying you don't believe you have the time. Confused just slightly. Please read the original post as it contains who should be putting their hand up for this. This is not like saying... ok, I'll be an editor. Being an administrator of a forum such as this, people are going to depend upon you being there, the forum being there, support being there. The initial year or two of a forum is very time consuming from admins, because until the forum membership builds where you have a steady and active membership that not only are present near daily, but they have the knowledge that you wanted the community to have and be based upon, to discover new techniques, etc... information that they then pass to other members, thus now running the forum becomes more an editorial aspect than hands on constantly.

LoveWins and EverGreen are immediately passionate about such a project. That is all that is required. If you want to co-admin it, then just say that, and it will be so. But you take on these responsibilities as outlined in the first post of this thread.

Now, how the forum is run. Again, that is not for me to say. As I stated... a good admin will always listen to their user. Heres the thing... because the admins and likely editors they choose will come from here, then maybe each person will take what they have learnt from here and adopt some parts to that forum and that forums rules, however; even I do not believe a person who has been sexually abused should have a hard arsed approached to soon. Yes, if they are having a pity party, yes... but I would think a forum for sexual abuse would require compassion and empathy... just leave the sympathy at the door I would think. Saying that though... even someone newly abused would require some sympathetic traits. This forum is not about PTSD... it is about sexual abuse. There are more people in the world who have been sexually abused without PTSD than there are with PTSD.

This forum is about PTSD, so you are now talking about people who are not newly traumatized, but instead they have had their trauma for a long time to develop PTSD in the first place... way beyond requiring initial sympathy for a traumatic event. Those who have been retraumatized whilst here, with PTSD already, have been given some sympathy, but more empathy, as sympathy does not help PTSD... its not about the trauma here, but PTSD. On that forum, it is about the trauma, not about PTSD.

Like where this thread went off course initially, this new forum is not about a PTSD approach, but a sexual abuse approach. I agree with you CB, that it should have some kicks in the arse for anyone who wants to just sit around and have a pity party for themselves after being sexually abused, because we all know that its not healthy for them... but that is not up to me, that is up to each individual member. Nothing stops a member upon a community stepping in and saying what needs to be said instead of a softly approach. I do it at times... bec immediately comes to mind also... you have to have the courage and self esteem to just tell people the truth as you see it... as thats what your really doing under such circumstances.

Again though, that is not for me to decide... so if you want to commit to administering such a site in accordance with the initial post, then I am happy to put you on the admin team. Just commit and its yours. If you don't want that commitment, then you may want to discuss with those who are the admins of the site to be an editor upon that forum when they establish it, as editors are always required.

Nam... same thing... if you want to commit to being an admin as the other two have, then you are accepted. If not, then maybe you may want to discuss with them also and be an editor of that forum if you don't have the time or capacity to administer the site.

There is no rush with this people.... plenty off time to have your say and get onboard with this or the military project.

A collective group administering the site is the best thing for the site, but rules must exist even for that. I will discuss that though with the administrative group once finalized.

Administration and editors should also have clear guidelines for how the forum is edited. It can be done by having one set of site rules and one editorial, or everyone works off one set of rules and edits to those rules... which is what I did here. Some forums use the other method, where they have site rules then specific guidelines for editors with editing... which isn't a silly idea, because they editors are given a left and right boundary to work within. I tend to leave editors do things the way they want to do things in their specific forum/s/area, as long as they show no bias and edit to the rules of the site. Each to their own though.

Honestly, I have no idea personally how a sexual abuse forum should be established, as I have not had that experience to have those feelings. I cannot fully understand without those feelings, hence why I am just putting it together and having no part in running it, how it is run, setup, etc. That will be for the admins to figure out. I will only guide and give my knowledge if asked. Experience usually dictates the best, and I completely expect the admins to make constant changes to the forum over the first year or two, learning from their experiences and changing to suit the problems they are faced with.

I will give some specifics though to avoid spammers, hackers, etc... which is something not typically within the realms of many and is specialised.
 
Apologies if my post was a little confused. This probably came across because I am torn between really wanting to be involved in this, and maybe not having the time to fully commit to it, due to work.

Thank you Anthony for taking the time to clarify things for me. Your post has made me realise, that the time commitment would be huge and as such, sadly, I will not be able to commit to this.

Sorry for initially being undecided on this. Good luck to those of you who are /become involved in this.

Regards, CB
 
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