Combat Stress Has Caused Severe Damage

[JarHed]

Hey PB

Welcome aboard. Your story moved me as I can relate to it in some ways. I was in the corps in Nam and fought some of the toughest 'kids' there were. This is a great place; you can rant, vent, and do what ever and not be judged but be helped back up.

Therapy is important. If you don't get involved in making some changes for yourself that make your life better, they'll never go away. I'm not a big supporter of the VA but they do have some good programs and a few good and caring people there as well. You deserve the best care that you can get.

This is the only life we get, gotta' make the most of it. My best wishes go out to you with the hope that things will get better for you in time. Hang in there. From one Jarhead to another.

Jar

 

[PookieBear]

Hey PB

Welcome aboard. Your story moved me as I can relate to it in some ways. I was in the corps in Nam and fought some of the toughest 'kids' there were. This is a great place; you can rant, vent, and do what ever and not be judged but be helped back up.

Therapy is important. If you don't get involved in making some changes for yourself that make your life better, they'll never go away. I'm not a big supporter of the VA but they do have some good programs and a few good and caring people there as well. You deserve the best care that you can get.

This is the only life we get, gotta' make the most of it. My best wishes go out to you with the hope that things will get better for you in time. Hang in there. From one Jarhead to another.

Jar

Thank you JarHed! Means a lot that everyone I've come in contact with so far, in this group, has been so supportive. There is a lot of useful information and support here and I've only touched the tip of the iceberg! Best of luck to you as well!

 

[K-9 Al]

PB,

I am damn proud of you brother. You know why? Because you recognize BEFORE its too late that you need help. My battle with PTSD has consumed my marriage, i have been arrested twice and have gone through court systems. When i feel threatened or uncomfortable i try to "neutralize" and lash out. Its instinctinal. Get help man! Keep striving. Go inpatient, outpatient, or what not. Do whatever you can.

As a caveat- I would suggest to "change for yourself" and not for those around you. if you change for yourself then you will have always yourself. If you "change for others" one day they may leave and you could end up in an emotional cycle of regrettign the change because they still left...

i hope that made sense.

 

[JarHed]

As a caveat- I would suggest to "change for yourself" and not for those around you.

Hey k-9 and PB

Great caveat, 'cause you will always be with you.

Last night I was at my weekly Tai Chi group and the 'Master' said something that stuck with me and has meaning in so many ways and thing; "To get better, you have to change" He meant as it applied to improving at the martial arts, but I mentioned that it pretty much applies to most things. It's the only thing in life that is an absolute, change. And yet we always resist it because of it's difficulty in doing so. To get 'better' you need to change. The truth of it is undeniable.

Do the work now, and do it for yourself. Your life will thank you for it later.

Jar

 

[Jimmy1]

In Buddism there is also a story which I can't remember. But it goes like this.
The person asked how to change the world, and the master said you have to change yourself first, then another person. In turn they will change someone else. He ended up changing the whole village. Then the country, then the world. Sounds good hey.

What you have both said is so true. YOU will always be there.

However; the reason we hurt family and other loved ones with our depressive and angry moods is because they will come back. But just remember, sometimes you can push too far. That is what happened to the majority of us.

 

[PookieBear]

PB,

I am damn proud of you brother. You know why? Because you recognize BEFORE its too late that you need help. My battle with PTSD has consumed my marriage, i have been arrested twice and have gone through court systems. When i feel threatened or uncomfortable i try to "neutralize" and lash out. Its instinctinal. Get help man! Keep striving. Go inpatient, outpatient, or what not. Do whatever you can.

As a caveat- I would suggest to "change for yourself" and not for those around you. if you change for yourself then you will have always yourself. If you "change for others" one day they may leave and you could end up in an emotional cycle of regrettign the change because they still left...

i hope that made sense.

That makes perfect sense. I want to get the help I need. If I am better, I believe the sky is the limit with my fiancee, our unborn child, my son with my ex, family, and friends. The was I am now, I know I won't have the dream relationships with any of those people. Fixing me is what drives me. I was a better man to everyone before I allowed this to consume my life. On a positive note, I finally found a therapist to see. Been hard getting help since I've been laid off, can't afford to pay much, and have no insurance. The VA is slow but, I remain hopeful they will help too. Thanks to you and everyone for being proud and or supportive. It means a lot to know I'm not in this alone.

 

[PookieBear]

Hey k-9 and PB

Great caveat, 'cause you will always be with you.

Last night I was at my weekly Tai Chi group and the 'Master' said something that stuck with me and has meaning in so many ways and thing; "To get better, you have to change" He meant as it applied to improving at the martial arts, but I mentioned that it pretty much applies to most things. It's the only thing in life that is an absolute, change. And yet we always resist it because of it's difficulty in doing so. To get 'better' you need to change. The truth of it is undeniable.

Do the work now, and do it for yourself. Your life will thank you for it later.

Jar

Words to live by! I now realize, I want to change. I'm not ashamed to admit I need help and I'm getting help.

 

[PookieBear]

In Buddism there is also a story which I can't remember. But it goes like this.
The person asked how to change the world, and the master said you have to change yourself first, then another person. In turn they will change someone else. He ended up changing the whole village. Then the country, then the world. Sounds good hey.

What you have both said is so true. YOU will always be there.

However; the reason we hurt family and other loved ones with our depressive and angry moods is because they will come back. But just remember, sometimes you can push too far. That is what happened to the majority of us.

I agree! I've known Tasia will never stop loving me so, I took out everything on her. Anyone else would have ran and never looked back. She must love me more than I can imagine! I knew she loves me more than I've ever been loved by anyone else but, this must be the true love you read about? Even though she has moved out while I get help, to improve conditions while she is pregnant, I respect her for doing so. It hursts that she is not here every night but, what she's doing proves she is going to be a great mother and a great wife to be. She put the baby's well, my well being, and our future family's well being over staying and possibly making our situation worse. I am not angry about this one bit.

 

[JarHed]

Hey PB

You've taken your first step on a long road. The journey is worth the effort; especially when it looks like you've got a lot to look forward to. Hang in there Bro.

Jar