-
We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
-
Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.
Alright We Need More Jokes
- Post starter Fargo1
- Start date
- Status
lol I am sitting here almost in tears laughing Jimmy, you don't know how many different terms/rates of fire etc I have heard spouted out of the news media and civvies alike. One, referring to an M-4 said "The stock comes off so they can carry it and shoot it like a pistol" I have heard the tumbling round theory expounded on to great length both negative and positively (in ref to the 5.65mm M-16 and variants) Heard people say they should let all the soldiers carry M2 .50 cal machine guns because nothing could stop them... (ummmmmm.... sheer exhaustion from carrying it would stop them faster than the enemy lol)
Thanks for the laugh...
Thanks for the laugh...
Love the Windows error one.. as a computer geek that's how I feel sometimes... it did it just to piss me off...
The Marines, while they might have joked about it understood... well the amphib side FMF ones....
While in Respiratory Therapy school at Ft Sam Houston, TX (Army base) We received constant heckling because we only had to run 1.5 miles not 3... I looked at one guy one day and asked him... "how the hell far can you run on a ship, max 500 yards or so???? 1.5 miles is overkill!" he looked at me for a bit, burst out laughing and after that it was a big joke with us all...
We also started smoking during our 3 mile run... and making it... with some of the Army guys falling behind.... ya we had to run at night secretly to get our stamina up to be able to do it... but ohhhhh did it piss some of those Army guys off... Us jogging past with a Marlboro in our mouth puffing away and finishing it in the alloted time just chapped some of the wanna be hard asses butts... the real soldiers started doing it with us to prove a point... till our Top put a stop to it lol...
W
Wagon
Actually they should have made us do more. Wouldn't want to be on a fire team with a bunch of out of shape squids. There are easier ways to get killed but that will do the trick.
Strap on all your gear, your OBA, then start to haul a P250 and firehose to the scene. Adrenalin will get you only so far... then nature takes over. Especially if you have a mass conflagration. It ain't going to be no short and sweet "Fire is out, secure from GQ" It's going to last hours. Same with flooding. Fear of drowning only gets you so far. Then the body just craps out. No PT fails on the fire team. Pointless.
Sorry, this is the joke section. I'm just a bit out of sorts. So....
What do you call two Filipino pilots?
A Pair of Pliers.
Get it?
This is not racist.....I've told it to Filipinos, they get it. They laugh.(y)
Strap on all your gear, your OBA, then start to haul a P250 and firehose to the scene. Adrenalin will get you only so far... then nature takes over. Especially if you have a mass conflagration. It ain't going to be no short and sweet "Fire is out, secure from GQ" It's going to last hours. Same with flooding. Fear of drowning only gets you so far. Then the body just craps out. No PT fails on the fire team. Pointless.
Sorry, this is the joke section. I'm just a bit out of sorts. So....
What do you call two Filipino pilots?
A Pair of Pliers.
Get it?
This is not racist.....I've told it to Filipinos, they get it. They laugh.(y)
omg... I am laughing so hard I cant respond to your other comments... our sister company in boot had a Filipino CC... used to LOVE him holler at them.. "look at this you can't even make a bung! Your peeeeelows look like sheet!"
man those were the days.,.. ya I claim the Corps duty for the PTSD but omg I went thru bootcamp the same way you did... haze gray...
Lee C
Platinum Member
Police work must be entertaining as well as dangerous.
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, for fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.
The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .
'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'
The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as 'Best Come Back Line Ever.'
Recently, a female police officer arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, for fornicating with a pumpkin in the middle of the night.
The next day, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, 'You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around' he stated.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged need. 'Guess I was really into it, you know?' he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until Officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
'It was an unusual situation, that's for sure,' said Officer Taylor. 'I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin.'
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence .
'I said, 'Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin??'
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Shit ... Is it midnight already?'
The Washington Post wrote an article describing this as 'Best Come Back Line Ever.'
reddevil1111
Diamond Member
pumpkin bravo! great line!
W
Wagon
Actually...... I can't believe she arrested him and wasted court time and money. WTF. What happened to. "Alright buddy. Where do you live? Get in the back and I'll take you home. But the pumpkin stays."
Arresting someone for shagging a pumpkin? What is the world coming to? And what would you call that?
A Gourdophile. PumpkinPervert. Will he have to make rounds in his neighborhood to tell everyone he is a registered vegetable offender? Will he be banned from getting a farming job for life?
I would have taken the guy home just for the come back alone. And made him put a tenner in the hole in pumpkin.
Arresting someone for shagging a pumpkin? What is the world coming to? And what would you call that?
A Gourdophile. PumpkinPervert. Will he have to make rounds in his neighborhood to tell everyone he is a registered vegetable offender? Will he be banned from getting a farming job for life?
I would have taken the guy home just for the come back alone. And made him put a tenner in the hole in pumpkin.
W
Wagon
My first joke of the Olympic events.
HEADLINE.
"Police Question Greek, Welsh and New Zealand Olympic Athletes about sheep gone missing after Opening Ceremony"
HEADLINE.
"Police Question Greek, Welsh and New Zealand Olympic Athletes about sheep gone missing after Opening Ceremony"
- Status
Donation drives
Trending content
-
-
What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?
- goingonhope
Comments: 34K -
-
-
-
