Funnies

[Deleted member 43454]

 

[combatgoldfish]

 

[Friday]

Cringe. Oh. Ow. Ow. Ow. Even the thought hurts, CGF.


Payback :

Man walks into a doctors office, but refuses to tell the nurse what's wrong with him.

"It's a male problem. For a male doctor. A male problem!"

After a lot of back and forth eventually the man drops trow right in the reception area to show a bloody pus dripping wad of gauze wrapped around his nuts... Roughly the size of a grapefruit.

Man is rushed to the hospital and into surgery. Where a number of curious things were discovered: One of his testicles was missing, presumably lost through the gaping hole in his scrotum, but seven 2cm long rusted bits of metal were found lodged there instead, and that the man was covered head to foot with old and healing bruises. Abuse suspected, police were called in to investigate.

(As reported in the local paper) The police on investigation found the following: Apparently the man was a night watchman at a local factory, and would sometimes be found using the conveyer belt systems in order to jerk off. One night, during the heat of his passions, the man rolled over, unfortunately also turning on the lathe. Whereupon he found himself grabbed suddenly by the scrotum by a piece of moving machinery, and then flung a 12 foot arc to hit the deck.

At this time... Scrotum gaping, nut missing, bruised from head to foot... Did the man call 911? No. Did he somehow scrape himself off the floor and drive to the doctors office where we first met him? No. What he did, instead, was pick up an industrial staple gun. And. Stapled. Himself. Back. Together. Not once. But seven times. Cha-chunk! Cha-chunk!

Whereupon he waited nearly 2 weeks before realizing that, maybe, he should seek medical attention.

Yep. Flung in a 12 foot arc. By his nuts.

True story.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

Cringe. Oh. Ow. Ow. Ow. Even the thought hurts, CGF.


Payback :

Man walks into a doctors office, but refuses to tell the nurse what's wrong with him.

"It's a male problem. For a male doctor. A male problem!"

After a lot of back and forth eventually the man drops trow right in the reception area to show a bloody pus dripping wad of gauze wrapped around his nuts... Roughly the size of a grapefruit.

Man is rushed to the hospital and into surgery. Where a number of curious things were discovered: One of his testicles was missing, presumably lost through the gaping hole in his scrotum, but seven 2cm long rusted bits of metal were found lodged there instead, and that the man was covered head to foot with old and healing bruises. Abuse suspected, police were called in to investigate.

(As reported in the local paper) The police on investigation found the following: Apparently the man was a night watchman at a local factory, and would sometimes be found using the conveyer belt systems in order to jerk off. One night, during the heat of his passions, the man rolled over, unfortunately also turning on the lathe. Whereupon he found himself grabbed suddenly by the scrotum by a piece of moving machinery, and then flung a 12 foot arc to hit the deck.

At this time... Scrotum gaping, nut missing, bruised from head to foot... Did the man call 911? No. Did he somehow scrape himself off the floor and drive to the doctors office where we first met him? No. What he did, instead, was pick up an industrial staple gun. And. Stapled. Himself. Back. Together. Not once. But seven times. Cha-chunk! Cha-chunk!

Whereupon he waited nearly 2 weeks before realizing that, maybe, he should seek medical attention.

Yep. Flung in a 12 foot arc. By his nuts.

True story.

Lmao, oh the pain in reading those words. WTF. OUCH.

 

[Deleted member 43454]

 

[Spock]

 

[Spock]

 

[OldDoorGunner]

 

[dutchiedelta]

Spock, I might be missing a reference here in your pic.

 

[OldDoorGunner]

dutchie, I think it's like Total Death and Destruction........That's what I get. ;)

 

[Sludge]

May the Spork be with you!

Stihl the best chainsaw:

While I can neither confirm nor deny the construction of a large projectile in my garage, I assure you this is NOT me:

 

[Sludge]

Cringe. Oh. Ow. Ow. Ow. Even the thought hurts, CGF.


Payback :

Man walks into a doctors office, but refuses to tell the nurse what's wrong with him.

"It's a male problem. For a male doctor. A male problem!"

After a lot of back and forth eventually the man drops trow right in the reception area to show a bloody pus dripping wad of gauze wrapped around his nuts... Roughly the size of a grapefruit.

Man is rushed to the hospital and into surgery. Where a number of curious things were discovered: One of his testicles was missing, presumably lost through the gaping hole in his scrotum, but seven 2cm long rusted bits of metal were found lodged there instead, and that the man was covered head to foot with old and healing bruises. Abuse suspected, police were called in to investigate.

(As reported in the local paper) The police on investigation found the following: Apparently the man was a night watchman at a local factory, and would sometimes be found using the conveyer belt systems in order to jerk off. One night, during the heat of his passions, the man rolled over, unfortunately also turning on the lathe. Whereupon he found himself grabbed suddenly by the scrotum by a piece of moving machinery, and then flung a 12 foot arc to hit the deck.

At this time... Scrotum gaping, nut missing, bruised from head to foot... Did the man call 911? No. Did he somehow scrape himself off the floor and drive to the doctors office where we first met him? No. What he did, instead, was pick up an industrial staple gun. And. Stapled. Himself. Back. Together. Not once. But seven times. Cha-chunk! Cha-chunk!

Whereupon he waited nearly 2 weeks before realizing that, maybe, he should seek medical attention.

Yep. Flung in a 12 foot arc. By his nuts.

True story.

I actually remember this being in the newspaper back home.