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Hello To All

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Good morning to all of you and thank you for the welcomes... I just read a book put out by the moph, titled Tears of a Warrior... Whew, for the very first time I could see myself and what the affects my own ptsd had on friends and family. It upset me and had me remembering all of the turmoil that is in my wake.

The Seahorn book was a good place to start another good title when your ready is War and Soul by Edward Tick

I found between my group, therapist and this forum it was a 'hat trick' - it's a good combination that works for me.

Ba
 
The Seahorn book was a good place to start another good title when your ready is War and Soul by Edward Tick

I found between my group, therapist and this forum it was a 'hat trick' - it's a good combination that works for me.

Ba

You may be right.

I think I just need to go to my shrink appt on the 10th and ask if I can get into a group. I tried it once, but back then it was just a bitching session about the VA. That was the last thing I needed and told them all to shut the **** up and didnt go back. Maybe Im ready. I dont know. Im not as angry and out of control as I was in the 90s. Im 61 and just as confused right now about some things as I was when I got home in 71.

I know I am pissed, but I have learned to keep that one in check as best I can. I am not violent and that was something I kept under control most of my life. But I am angry inside most of the time. Im grateful for the meds I get, but what a pain in the ass to need them everyday. I tried to wean myself off a couple of times, but the rage came back and that was certainly worse than taking a few pills.

At this point I dont think I want to read another book! The last one had me feeling incredible guilt and then sadness because I did relate to it and had to look back. Ive known for a long time that it wasnt "them" who had it wrong, but that is was me.

I had a therapist at the vet center in the beginning. He saved me. He was a platoon leader in the 101st. I respected him a lot and miss the times when I could just talk. He once told me I was normal. I was shocked at that and told him so! I asked him what he meant by that and he told me that I was normal after what I had been through. PTSD is normal after a combat tour. It isnt that comforting now as it was then, but at least I know Im normal! :-) Sorry...I made myself laugh at that one. Sounds kind of silly now.
 
What's NORMAL outside the wire or in the door of a chopper can cause big PROBLEMS at the supermarket. That's the situation us old grunts are stuck with.

Find that new councelor, and make finding your way your number one priority.

SD
 
Your OK brother - we're OK

Sorry...I made myself laugh at that one. Sounds kind of silly now.

Yeah, laughter is something that is alien to me depending on what's going on between my ears. I can laugh at myself myself on occasion but it's never the same when I with vets. With them, all the silly shit that becomes acceptable - thats the difference between laughing with each other and not at each other. Thats the bond that make our journey worth the pain and the work getting there.

Keep laughing :).

For what it worth, I'm 68 and just learning to deal with this shit myself.

Ba
 
:-) For what its worth, Im 61+ and Im not cured yet either. I took a huey ride a couple of times on the 11th of November. The pilots were old farts too. At first it was somewhat scary, but then I remembered just how much stress those Hueys can take and then I was able to laugh and yell like the other old farts on the ride did. We laughed and the few brave wives who had been hearing about hueys most of their lives, were screaming with total fear. It was amusing.
 
Welcome brother. Not glad your here, but I'm glad you made it.

Somewhere on here I made a long post about this... To become good at something takes thousands of repetitions — correct repetitions. Like dribbling a basketball. The first time you pick one up and try it. Not so good. After several years of playing in the driveway, park courts, etc., you can walk to and from school dribbling. Up hill both ways in the snow.

The important thing is to keep trying the therapy. You will not click with every therapist. And this is an important point. You have to click with your therapist. The VA is necessary, but can be a frustrating place. Have you tried any other options? Not sure where you are, but there are groups of therapists around the country that will provide pro bono or highly reduced rates for vets as well.

I expect to be "vetted".

"Vetted" I don't think we really do per se. Its more of an honor code. The people who can't walk the talk are few (but do happen) and pretty quickly out themselves without any help from the group ;-)
 
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