How Do We Win?

[JarHed]

loner alphas

Wow, sounds like me. I like and enjoy my own company and sure as hell don't need someone to tell me what I need to do. My wife is so cool, she's never said; 'you need to do this or have to do that'. It's more of a suggestion, I also do the same with her. After 43 years you do learn something, I hope.

Guess we have a couple of 'rules' for us. We don't argue, not ever. That's just pure luck. Never leave the house without saying 'I love you', may sound mushy to some but you just don't know what's going on beyond the door. And, she can fart with the best of them and we laugh about it, always.

Find your joy in this life, it's all we can be sure we get. Enjoy the moment. Unfortunately it takes 60++ years to figure some of this shit out.

Jar

 

[Raven]

Makes perfect sense Raven. That's the description.
I'm probably a fair few years older then you and the older you get, the less compatible people there are. Either by being set in our ways or simply dried up supply chain.

Atilla, congratulations on your wedding anniversary. Hope you guys have a great day.

My father always encouraged me to settle down young, he feared the supply chain would dry up if I don't get married by my thirties.

He kept saying I don't want to be stuck with men who are divorced or men who aren't interested in commitment. He has a point with the second category but for whatever reason, he has this notion that divorced men in their 30's or older are all bad apples--cheaters, or wife beaters, or something. Divorced older women, however, are jilted, betrayed, abused victims in his eyes. It's probably a generational attitude. When he was growing up, people didn't divorce unless the situation was really dire.

 

[dutchiedelta]

In general your father might be right. people with serious issues aside, I see a lot of people not fighting too hard to make things work.
Expecting the Hollywood way and everything running like clockwork without much effort.
So yes, people get divorced easier. Sometimes a good thing cos it made women less dependent. In other ways a pity cos some problems can be overcome with hard work.

 

[Raven]

Basically his point was that if an older man is still single, there'a probably a good reason for it. But i think that someone being divorced doesn't necessarily have bearing on their ability to be a good spouse going forward.

Hypothetically, if I learned that a man I'm seeing got divorced because he cheated on his ex wife, I would probably run for the hills.
But what if instead, they divorced because
she had cheated on him? Statistically, women cheat almost as much as men do if you count physical intercourse as cheating. When you broaden the umbrella to also cover emotional affairs, women become more guilty of cheating than men.

 

[dutchiedelta]

Cheating, emotionally unavailable, seeing the other as a walking housekeeper/chequebook/doormat/toy... Both men and women can do that.

It's hard work to make a relationship successful. I didn't mean to say it's the men that are to be mistrusted.
It's a two way street to make any relationship, even friendship work out good.

Maybe that puts it better? If not, back to school to learn English :)

 

[Grizzly]

If god forbid anything would ever happen to my wife. I would be stuck. I dont have it in me to get into any form of dating. I wouldn't know where to start.

 

[Raven]

Cheating, emotionally unavailable, seeing the other as a walking housekeeper/chequebook/doormat/toy... Both men and women can do that.

It's hard work to make a relationship successful. I didn't mean to say it's the men that are to be mistrusted.
It's a two way street to make any relationship, even friendship work out good.

Maybe that puts it better? If not, back to school to learn English :)

It is a two way road, but my father thinks it's a one-way road. That's the point I was hoping to make. I was just trying to explain why my father's particular view the gender roles in marriage is very antiquated.

 

[atilla]

It is a two way road Raven, antiquated indeed, lol.. My wife and I are in a partnership, and It works, this one just happens to work...my fourth one by the way...I really don't know how she puts up with the "Beast", but she does. I'm so thankful for her..I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for her. I owe her a lot. She's hardcore for putting up with all my shit..Alpha females Rawk...that's what she is....My first three marriages were to submissive women..apparently didn't work well. We seek our own kind, kind of like wolves. A strong Alpha Male needs a strong Alpha female. And vise versa. Just my take on it. "Never trust a woman that can't shoot"......lol

 

[Jimmy1]

It is a two way road, but my father thinks it's a one-way road. That's the point I was hoping to make. I was just trying to explain why my father's particular view the gender roles in marriage is very antiquated.

There is a huge difference, like my parents. They were 13 years difference and my mother was very young. She told me that the six children were the only times she had sex.

Us as kids had to be kept quiet, we never answered the door, or spoke out of turn.

My mother was responsible for keeping us all in check, the groceries in the cupboard, our clothes washed, etc, etc
Dad went to work, came home at dinner, ate dinner, and by that time we had to go to bed.

One of my son's is gay, my father would turn in his grave if he found out, yet my mother thinks it's ok.

 

[Jimmy1]

http://a1950swifesguide.blogspot.com.au/p/blog-page.html

 

[atilla]

It was the same with me growing up. Mom took care of the house and the kids. Dad didn't even have to discipline the kids mom did that also. Different generation.

 

[dutchiedelta]

I have several different volumes of the Baedecker for the Good Housewife.
Some very good tips on how to polish silver, how to cook with leftover and the rest is a total riot.

Make sure the children are fed and watered before hubby comes home. Put on fresh lipstick and attend to your hair and make sure your dress is pressed immaculate.
Have a martini or another favorite drink ready for hi and listen to what he has to say.

No doubt this will appeal to many men (and woman).
A housekeeper with benefits. Hurray, where's my cabanaboy?