Cheating

[dulcia]

Dude, @whattodowithhim. Don't complain on your own post about receiving responses you don't agree with and then come over to @Songbird and start spewing unproductive sh*t. It's obvious you're not in a good place right now, but don't put that on other people who are just trying to work through their own sh*t.

 

[Supervixn]

Hm... idk... whattodowithhim is allowed an opinion and is speaking from personal experience. Yeah there's hurt in her posts. And I feel hurt for both these women. It might not be what people want to hear but she is allowed to speak her thoughts. She obviously has experience with infidelity in relationships. I have 'liked' her replies, as seemingly "unconstructive" as they are, because I can't help but partially agree on a subjective level, even though I would prefer songbird works things out because that is her desire.

We don't know the full scope of songbirds relationship. To me, 'vile things' don't measure up to infidelity (sorry. No comparison imho), but I would want us all regardless of our opinions to be supportive and encouraging to songbird no matter the outcome. She wants things to work. So we should want it to work for her...

Hearing opinions that are less than optimistic are going to happen anywhere you go. The beauty of public forums is that you can hear any side, whether we agree/disagree. Whattodowithhim is definitely speaking from hurt, but there's some logical truth to what she is saying also, that will eventually come up... if someone cheats on you, yeah, you can want to move past it all you want but the truth is that his infidelity WILL have repercussions for songbird and her relationship. That's how it goes whether we want it to or not. Speaking or not speaking on it won't change that. It's not wrong to acknowledge the negatives with some cautionary advice.

 

[joeylittle]

Don't like my opinions? Don't put your shit on here. Smh. You choose your own misery. I'm not going to advise you to stay as I think it's pathetic.

Everyone can voice their opinions all over the site. But as you are a supporter, and the OP is a sufferer, your POV will only go so far. We ask the same consideration from sufferers, when they post in the supporters area.

Thanks

 

[dulcia]

It's not wrong to acknowledge the negatives with some cautionary advice.

Definitely. And I agree with your post. And I may have felt differently about her posts if they had contained some cautionary advice, but I saw none of that,

If anyone has been in a similar situation and worked past it, can you offer any advice? Thx.

especially considering Songbird's original request.

 

[Deleted member 42783]

There's a difference between acknowledging the negatives and hardships a relationship will endure once infidelity is involved and spewing opinions peppered with insults. It's not a fact that all partners who cheat are incapable of love. It's not fact that trust can never be rebuilt. People who make a decision to rebuild should not be called pathetic or told that they are really in love with an idea and not a person.

 

[Supervixn]

This is no doubt a really tough one...

 

[LuckiLee]

It is sad. Sad that she doesn't feel she can do better. He is not in love with her. Or he never...

Replying to your last paragraph...
You fell in love with a man with the potential to earn 100 grand a year and able to father children. You chose not so see that he was a combat veteran with PTSD. You fell in love with an idea...