Sufferer Decided to finally do something about my ptsd! religion centered.

[Emily L]

New to the forum!

I have struggled with PTSD for many years. Everything really started in 2009. I won't go into deep details right now, but mine has been centered around religion, specifically Christianity. I will say I 100% accept advice centered around faith, but I do not appreciate the "fire and brimstone" talk, as that is what initially started my downfall. I guess I am just emotionally sensitive. I have always had severe health anxiety, so I was an easy target (unintentional). I have made it through the days of severe anxiety, but to this day I still deal with the emotional numbness. I feel so shut down. I can't even be in a relationship because I can't get that romantic connection with anyone. Most people brush it off as I haven't met the right guy, but from talking to other PTSD survivors, it's because of the PTSD!!

Anyways, today after talking with a former police officer who has PTSD, I have decided I need to take a step and begin seeking therapy/help/advice, etc. I don't want to wait on this to just "go away" in a few years. I want to fully HEAL, and I could use everyone's advice and help they could give me!

Feel free to reply with a quick bio of yourself and your story if you choose, or just say hi in the comments. Thank you to everyone, hope you all have a blessed day!

 

[ladee]

Welcome.... very happy you are here... yep, people here are going to understand and support you.... takes courage to let our voice be heard here for the first time.... you are among many wonderful caring people here... glad you found us.

 

[EveHarrington]

Welcome!

PTSD doesn't just go away for many of us. Congrats on being proactive!

 

[Sideways]

Despite how abuse makes us feel, it's actually totally appropriate to seek out help to recover. You didn't deserve to be abused, you don't deserve ptsd, but you do deserve support. Things get better, and seeking out support is the appropriate way to put yourself and your future first:)

A very warped form of 'christianity' was at the core of my abuse. You're not alone. Your experience, your life, is unique. But abuse isn't. Religious abuse isn't. And you don't need to feel isolated, because you are not alone.

 

[Fadeaway]

Welcome. As @EveHarrington said it doesn't just go away. It takes a lot of therapeutic work. Even then, it may never go away completely. You are in the right place though to begin your healing journey.

There are a lot of us here who have "fire and brimstone" as part of our trauma. Hell, I even had a Pentecostal style exorcism preformed on me as a child. I joke about it now, but it left it's marks.

 

[Emily L]

Welcome. As @EveHarrington said it doesn't just go away. It takes a lot of therapeu...

@Fadeaway What if I seek help and never find what helps me heal? I worry about that!

 

[Tornadic Thoughts]

I sought help in what I was previously taught to be all the right places, but was only made worse in those attempts. I also spent 13 years of my life directing thousands and thousands of people to those very same avenues when I worked in the mental health field. It thankfully led me to trying many alternative/ancient methods I would have simply laughed at back in the day, based on what I'd been taught and told my whole life. Of course, it took me being desperate and damn near bed ridden much of the time, along with a trip to the ER, to finally look in that direction, though, out of sheer desperation.

I also discovered a time bank in the local community I would have never otherwise found. Through that, I was able to try various things via bartering time/skills/talent instead of money. Otherwise, it wouldn't have been accessible. I totally flipped the script on my life in all things I consume and surround myself with, along with experience and help via nutritional intake via whole food plant-based vegan means, neurofeedback, acupuncture, chiropractor care, massage therapy, breathing techniques, nature time via gardening and foraging, master herbalists guidance, had an iridology reading, sound healing via Tibetan singing bowls, tuning forks, gongs, and such, purposeful FUN daily movement, much kinder self-talk, etc.

It still takes a combination of some of all of the above in my daily existence to make my time in this meat coated skeleton more comfortable. Each thing is a practice and how much time we invest in practicing often determines how much we gain from whatever it is we are practicing. The trauma will forever remain a part of me, no matter how good of a day I have. I still fall into the depressive ditches, still get fired up when triggered, still feel worthless at times, and still wish I could go back and change the hands of time. But most of the time I just try to remember to work hard at trying to recognize and absorb the beauty that surrounds me in each moment, self included.

I had to unlearn all I thought I knew to make room for what I really needed, but I didn't know how badly I needed it until I had a chance to experience it. I never eased into those helpful things, by any means...I was catapulted into it all via an emergency room experience that made me realize it was either a major lifestyle change, or the knife. I prefer to not have my body cut on and organs removed if I can at all help it. Some folks think changing dietary habits is extreme, however, I feel allowing someone to cut me open and remove organs is even more extreme. Grateful the circumstances happened as they did, or I would have never realized just how capable I am in harnessing and directing much of my own health.

 

[Sideways]

What if I seek help and never find what helps me heal?

There's so many different approaches to recovery now that you will find one that suits. You will. And surely not trying at all would be the bigger tragedy?