I'm 16, and this happened when I was 15. I was heavily abusing drugs at the time (thankfully i'm s...
Hi. So, as posted above, other sites may be better for this. Personally, I recommend Scarleteen. RAINN can help you deal with the after affects, but in my experience, they will never give you a yes or no answer. In my own situation, that answer was my first step to even deal with what had happened.
So, I will answer your question.
Yes, legally, definitions of rape vary by state. If you are wondering whether or not you can do something legally, please Google your state's laws on sexual assault. Legally, what you described generally falls under sexual assault.
For some emotional clarity,legality aside for now, the answer is yes. No means no. Firstly, if this person was a legal adult(over 18) it's statutory, and additionally not even concerning age, you said no and that request was not respected.
Normally "rape" is considered penetration of some sort. Obviously definitions do not work for everyone (Such as some definitions which would not include male victims;"made to penetrate"). Some definitions even legally include "digital penetration",while some do not. My state includes that and that was new to me.
The same thing happened to me, but by a partner. I have always called it rape. I believe anything further than touching (like oral sex on either person) is rape. You are free to define that how you'd like, but this or "sexual assault" are perfectly reasonable ways to define what you describe happened to you.
But legally, as mentioned, this would most often fall under "sexual assault" unless there was penetration with hands/objects as well-then it depends on your state.
Anyway, no. This was not your fault. If you use any sort of mind altering substance, no one has a right to take advantage of you in any way. You did not ever say you wanted this, in fact, you said you did not and that request was ignored.
You chose to get high, not to be raped. There's a huge difference.
Think of it this way. I'm sure you are aware that when drunk, one cannot consent to sex of any sort. The same goes for when you are on drugs. You cannot consent. And to top it off, you even verbally said no. That should have been respected.
I am very sorry this happened to you. I would recommend seeing if you can find a counselor. The sooner you get treatment for this sort of thing, the better. Trust me on that.
And, if you have any more questions about definitions, please visit Scarleteen. They helped me so much in figuring things out. RAINN can additionally help you greatly with resources(like what to do now,and may be able to direct you towards state laws) to help you heal.
Please, see a therapist asap. Best of luck.
