Do you speak with a loud voice?

[Deleted member 8714]

My new T noticed this about me on our initial intake visit. Then she asked me if I was around someone with a hearing deficit. Yes, my husband has one. Yet before he ever had one I've always talked loud.

One of my brothers had a nickname of "Boomer" because he was loud. And now he has a son who is the same way. Payback is a bitch! :laugh:

Maybe in order to be heard I had to be louder than my other family members and I never learned to tone it down? I don't know. I never noticed how loud I was until the T mentioned it.

Anyone else speak with a loud voice?

 

[NewBeginnings]

I seem to do the opposite. I talk softly especially when trying to express myself. I think it is because I don't have confidence that what I say matters. I am very insecure to show people who I am emotionally.

I would expect the opposite to be true too- maybe some talk in aloud voice to appear confident yet really hiding behind a deep insecurity.

 

[Deleted member 42783]

My sister is the loud one.
I've noticed that my youngest child tends to talk loudly (and often). I think it's half personality, half needing to be heard above the din.

 

[DharmaGirl]

I'm a soft talker, but fast. My stepfather calls me the chipmunk, lol.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have always had a very loud voice, and I do not know why, but it has been a source of embarrassment with my family that I married into. So often they said I was talking too loud. I do not know how to turn it down because I am not consciously aware when I do this. It is just a mystery to me.

 

[Lucycat]

Yes, but that is because I am deaf myself. I did not realise I was speaking too loudly. Have you ever had a hearing test yourself?

 

[Friday]

Nope.

I have to very deliberately switch into parade voice or command voice, or pitch it to be heard over phones, in crowded places, etc. My regular speaking voice is verr verr quiet. To the point of being breathy.

Spoiler: Anthropology Geek

Working with little kids, one actually teaches them which versions of their voice to use in which circumstances. Along with a hundred other things most people blow off as natural, that are actually learned. (From where to hold your eyebrows, to what your laugh sounds like, to whether your voice is pitched through your nose -Eastern Bloc people do this, it's part of why they "sound" snobby or arrogant to most English speakers, as we're taught to pitch our voice through our noses for emotional effect; whining, disdain, etc.-.). Kids everything is extremely mobile. (Facial expressions, voices, body language, etc.). A huge part of this teaching is monkey-see-monkey-do, but another piece is very much intentional. A lot of these things very much become "locked in" by a certain age.

The eyebrows thing, as an example? Americans hold their eyebrows 1/5th of an inch higher than Europeans. Those orbital muscles "set" fairly young. I can almost always spot people who moved to the US as older kids... Because even as teens... They have these 2.5 lines across their forehead that come from raising your eyebrows 1/5th of an inch, and holding them there 24/7. When most people's faces don't line until their 30's and 40's, because fractional expressions take infinitely longer to crease in than expressions held day in and day out. It's not a deliberate thing, it's an assimilation thing that only kids do, but that happened after their orbital muscles set as toddlers. It's also why facial reconstructions, from skulls, never really look like the person ... Unless you know what region they grew up in & what region(s) they lived in, even then it's not perfect, but it's a LOT closer. It not only changes the cast of the muscles, and other unconscious things, but also things like how much water-fat they have. There are some wicked cool computer programs that let you imput all that data, these days. Same skull, will look like very different people depending on culture & climate.

And, no, in the nature v nurture argument I'm hardly taking sides, just because so much is learned. Which lessons a child learns, and how? That part is very much nature. 2 kids from the same very loud family may each be polar opposites of each other, just because their personalities grabbed different parts of the lessons presented to them

 

[ladee]

No, I do not speak loud, I have a raspy voice, a guy once told me I had a 'sultry' voice.... I can get loud, if I am angry without catching myself before I escalate, but it's still not loud compared to others.. People that talk loud make me anxious.... I had a hairdresser once that spoke so loud that my eardrums vibrated... I stopped going to her.

My son is loud, can't count the times I have walked out of public places because he is talking so loud, and so much, that people are just staring.. (he is grown, by the way!)
@Friday, interesting read.... love when you add things like this...

 

[Deleted member 8714]

I do not know how to turn it down because I am not consciously aware when I do this.

Interesting. Neither am I @Rain .

My T was the first person to tell me that I spoke too loud. Part of that could've been anxiousness. Yet I don't think so because after creating my post here I had a memory come back to me about my stepdad. Quite often he entered the family room where my brothers and I were playing and yelled at us, "Keep it down to a dull roar." My stepdad used to be in the army so maybe this is where he got the saying? Don't know. Since I had a brother whose nickname was "Boomer" the noise in the room must've been deafening. None of us had volume controls. I never heard a parent say "inside voices" please. Rather I heard my stepdad yelling at us to keep it down to a dull roar. Which to me was confusing. How does one do that oxymoronic behavior? A dull roar. Give me a break! What a confusing thing to scream at a child! And screaming it too? WTF!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I have not had a hearing test for many, many years. I think I will check into this when I have some extra money. Thanks for asking the question, @Lucycat .

Rather I heard my stepdad yelling at us to keep it down to a dull roar. Which to mean was confusing. How does one do that oxymoronic behavior? A dull roar. Give me a break! What a confusing thing to scream at a child! And screaming it too? WTF!

Exactly!!! Very helpful to me. I have a quote that I like but do not remember the author of it:

If you train a horse with shouts it will not obey your whispers.

 

[EveHarrington]

Yep. I can be quite loud. I've been shushed in the past, asked to keep my voice down. But it's because I get so excited about things. Zero volume control lol.

 

[Fadeaway]

I am always told that I am speaking louder than I realize. I think I have more difficulty hearing my own voice than others do. My Eustachian tubes are child sized and and never descended like most people do when they become an adult causing fluid to pool creating ear infections just like they do in a child's according to my ENT. I don't know if that is why, but that is one theory. My other theory is that my primary caregiver as a child was very hard of hearing and I did have to shout for him to understand me.