Survivorgrrrl
New Here
Hi everyone, I am new here. Last summer I went thru a nasty breakup/discard when my now ex got his ex-wife pregnant when he was supposed to be "winning me back" after I tried breaking up with him. It was at that time that I discovered that he is a narcissist, that the person I fell for and the whole relationship was a lie. I had always been extremely hard on myself, it had been a lifelong bad habit, and I became angry with myself for believing his lies and getting myself into the situation when I should've known better than to have gotten involved with him in the first place. I hated myself and it so bad that I tried to take my own life. Luckily I was not successful. I worked with a therapist to get thru everything, I started getting acupuncture to help with the depression and anxiety, I went to meditation classes, I did everything I could for self care. When the final obstacle that prevented no contact was removed, things got exponentially better. I finally started to feel happy again.
Now suddenly PTSD has reared its ugly head.
My ex and I live in the same small-ish town. I always knew running into him was possible but the thought never bothered me, I figured if it happened I would just ignore him. 2 months after going 100% no contact, him and I drove by each other on the road, we were close enough to each other that we made eye contact. And without any warning I LOST it. I started screaming and crying in my car, I had to pull over into a parking lot, take a xanax and calm myself down. I never expected that reaction. I had been kinda down that morning so I thought maybe I was just having a bad day and overreacted. About 3 weeks ago, I was in a store waiting in a long line at the register. The store is in a plaza I frequent; the gym I go to is in it, as well as some restaurants I went to with my ex. Behind the registers is a wall of glass that looks out into the parking lot. I was standing there waiting and looking out the windows and he drove by. His window was down and he was looking out the window like he was looking for something. I saw his face clear as day. I wondered if he was looking for me, not necessarily to mess with me as I think he knows better than to try that, but to see if I was around to avoid me. I started having a panic attack, I rushed out to my car and stayed there, looking around to make sure the coast was clear so I wouldn't run into him. I started to cry uncontrollably. Luckily I had signed up for a yoga class that started about an hour after that so I calmed down and went to the class, which helped distract me for the next 2 hours. But this time the effects lasted a week. I had racing thoughts about him, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get him off my mind. I had nightmares about him and his ex (they are back together, their daugher is about 6 months old now). I was exhausted, all I wanted to do is sleep and I missed a day of work because of it. After a week the effects just kinda dissipated but I was angry that a 5-second sighting through a window, not even a face to face confrontation, essentially made me lose a week of my life. PTSD had been brought up a few times in therapy very briefly, basically my therapist said it was very possible I had it but that was as far as we got. I will see her this week and I think its something we will have to work on now.
Has anyone here ever dealt with PTSD from an emotionally abusive relationship? If so, do you have any advice to offer?
Now suddenly PTSD has reared its ugly head.
My ex and I live in the same small-ish town. I always knew running into him was possible but the thought never bothered me, I figured if it happened I would just ignore him. 2 months after going 100% no contact, him and I drove by each other on the road, we were close enough to each other that we made eye contact. And without any warning I LOST it. I started screaming and crying in my car, I had to pull over into a parking lot, take a xanax and calm myself down. I never expected that reaction. I had been kinda down that morning so I thought maybe I was just having a bad day and overreacted. About 3 weeks ago, I was in a store waiting in a long line at the register. The store is in a plaza I frequent; the gym I go to is in it, as well as some restaurants I went to with my ex. Behind the registers is a wall of glass that looks out into the parking lot. I was standing there waiting and looking out the windows and he drove by. His window was down and he was looking out the window like he was looking for something. I saw his face clear as day. I wondered if he was looking for me, not necessarily to mess with me as I think he knows better than to try that, but to see if I was around to avoid me. I started having a panic attack, I rushed out to my car and stayed there, looking around to make sure the coast was clear so I wouldn't run into him. I started to cry uncontrollably. Luckily I had signed up for a yoga class that started about an hour after that so I calmed down and went to the class, which helped distract me for the next 2 hours. But this time the effects lasted a week. I had racing thoughts about him, no matter how hard I tried I couldn't get him off my mind. I had nightmares about him and his ex (they are back together, their daugher is about 6 months old now). I was exhausted, all I wanted to do is sleep and I missed a day of work because of it. After a week the effects just kinda dissipated but I was angry that a 5-second sighting through a window, not even a face to face confrontation, essentially made me lose a week of my life. PTSD had been brought up a few times in therapy very briefly, basically my therapist said it was very possible I had it but that was as far as we got. I will see her this week and I think its something we will have to work on now.
Has anyone here ever dealt with PTSD from an emotionally abusive relationship? If so, do you have any advice to offer?
