Sexual Assault I went into 'freeze' mode.i was hand raped.what happened to me?

[Deleted member 44525]

You were groped. It scared you.

Apart from being unusally preoccupied with your own appearanc...

I just feel so embarrassed.I am really grappling with feeling humiliated for being so weak and spineless.I feel tremendous humiliation.HOW DO I REGAIN MY DIGNITY?How do I confront this repulsive pervert woman and stop feeling so humiliated?I wish i could just hide under a rock.Why do I feel this?

Ditto.

You were groped.

You were not hand raped.

I have been groped AND hand raped.

There...

I am apologizing to you.But i feel so ashamed and humiliated by this.That awful woman ruined me.

 

[Deleted member 44517]

Discussion of rape and trauma aside, I have reacted the exact same way. Rigid, frozen, lost somewhere in my head. That is the freeze response. That is what you experienced.

 

[Sideways]

.That awful woman ruined me.

No. She really didn't. She groped you.

If you're struggling with the shame of what happened? See a therapist. You sound like you have some issues to work through.

But let's be clear: you weren't raped, in any sense of the word, and you won't get ptsd from this experience. Frankly, it's disrespectful to come to a forum for people suffering ptsd (from real trauma) with a groping incident and an unhealthy obsession with your appearance.

You sound like you have issues. Ptsd and trauma? Aren't one of them.

 

[Deleted member 44525]

Discussion of rape and trauma aside, I have reacted the exact same way. Rigid, frozen, lost somewhere in m...

I was totally paralyzed.I just collapsed into myself.I feel so humiliated.I was totally numb while she was touching me.I couldn't talk normal. I couldn't get words out of my mouth.Mouth was open but no words came out of it.Why would I scream my head off if a man did it but I can’t verbalize a succinct “NO” to this short skinny mature pervert lesbian.I didn’t say anything or tell her to stop.

 

[joeylittle]

Please tell me am I overreacting?I

You are having the reaction you are having - but yes, you are turning it into a catastrophe. Look up 'cognitive distortions'. You are not 'ruined.', as you've said a few times I think.

now this may sound like I’m overreacting, but I genuinely felt violated.I was practically hand raped

You felt violated - fine. You were not hand-raped.

You would benefit from a therapist, probably. Continuing to have this reaction is out-of-scale with the event. I think you said that if it had been a man you would have known what to do. Yes? So this isn't about being touched. It's about a woman doing it. You went to extremes to describe your appearance (including bra size), so there's a need to prove your femininity - and to equate that with not being a lesbian, it seems.

Are you homophobic?

 

[Deleted member 44525]

No. She really didn't. She groped you.

If you're struggling with the shame of what happened?...

I'm posting this here since the incident was mildly traumatic for me even though I definitely wasn't raped but i really think I was sexually assaulted. I just kind of want some thoughts or advice from people and don't want to talk about it with people I know.I just kind of want to hear opinions or advice or something from someone.Thanks.

 

[Deleted member 44525]

You are having the reaction you are having - but yes, you are turning it into a catastrophe. Look u...

I don't think there's anything I wanted to ask or didn't understand about the lesbian community, they are just women who love women, not much mystery there :)I don't have an issue with lesbians doing what they do and i don't dislike them as people.

 

[Scarlet13]

I think you are struggling with not only the fact that this assault happened, but also the fact that you were frozen.
You will need to process that helpless feeling through possibly therapy. That is sad that you cannot tell your husband this in order to get support for fear of being blamed.
You could have shown up to the book meeting scantily clad in lingerie and that would not be ok to be touched without consent, I dont care how curvy you are, still does not warrant sexual assault.

 

[Sideways]

I'm posting this here since the incident was mildly traumatic for me

You've come to a place where people have gone through life-threatening trauma...because a woman groped your breasts.

Bit like going to a site for quadriplegics because you broke your toe. Offensive. Creating drama where, frankly, there is none, among people who have serious issues to deal with.

You found it frightening. Life is full of frightening experiences. I don't think I've said this before on this site ever, but seriously - Get Over It. If you honestly can't get over something that mundane? You need a therapist.

But NOT because you have ptsd.

 

[joeylittle]

I don't have an issue with lesbians doing what they do and i don't dislike them as people.

Then why are you calling her a pervert, skinny, ugly...
Why did you go into such length about your appearance, body shape, etc.?

i really think I was sexually assaulted.

You'd need to look up the laws in your country. You were groped - sometimes that is a minor form of assault.

If you are certain that in this particular situation - a public, social setting - you'd have been able to tell them to stop, if it had been a man...then the only thing left is, you were shocked because it was a woman. And you were uncomfortable saying anything.

Is it possible that's what it was?

 

[Suzetig]

I just kind of want to hear opinions or advice or something from someone.Thanks

People have given their opinion (it wasn't rape, you're over dramatising, you're not ruined, not going to get PTSD from this) and advice (seek therapy given your concern about your response).

Your descriptions of your appearance, overt assertions about your sexuality and attractiveness to men coupled with your very detailed, derogative description of the person who touched you makes me wonder about your motives in posting here. It seems to me you're looking for a reaction and, assuming you present in the same way in daily life, I'm not that surprised you struggle with interpersonal relationships. That's certainly something a good therapist can help you with.

 

[Deleted member 44525]

People have given their opinion (it wasn't rape, you're over dramatising, you're not ruined, not going...

I am afraid that i am going to freeze up again if i meet this woman.I simply couldn't do nothing, I just froze while she was touching me and groping me.Am i the only one who hates touching,rubbing and groping from a complete stranger?I do not like people getting in my "bubble".This woman invaded my personal space.It can be very uncomfortable to have someone "in your face",as it were.In some cultures,this is not a problem,but i definitely like my space unless i'm TOTALLY comfortable with the other person.Its very rude to invade someone's personal space!I hate my personal space to be invaded. I have never felt such shame or degradation like this in my life. All I want is for someone to help me with advice and stop this happening.