Friday
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Yep. Very much relate, although it's infinitely better these days.
A few years back, when my past broke open I couldn't stop remembering. Some were flashbacks, some were memories. Sometimes it was a flood, other times a blurring of past and present, most jarringly it was often this hugely violent worlds-collide! between past & present, or past & past, or multiple pasts & present. Major clusterf*ck in my head.
Between flashbacks, memories, panic attacks, & rage storms... It was eating about 10-15 hours out of my day, most days. Although sometimes it was constant and I'd lose days/weeks to being locked in my past, I could usually push through by the end of the day to being mostly here. And then all of my dreams at night. By last year it had been cut in half to about 5 hours a day, most days, and nightmare cycles instead of nightmares every night.
A few years back, when my past broke open I couldn't stop remembering. Some were flashbacks, some were memories. Sometimes it was a flood, other times a blurring of past and present, most jarringly it was often this hugely violent worlds-collide! between past & present, or past & past, or multiple pasts & present. Major clusterf*ck in my head.
Between flashbacks, memories, panic attacks, & rage storms... It was eating about 10-15 hours out of my day, most days. Although sometimes it was constant and I'd lose days/weeks to being locked in my past, I could usually push through by the end of the day to being mostly here. And then all of my dreams at night. By last year it had been cut in half to about 5 hours a day, most days, and nightmare cycles instead of nightmares every night.
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