T wants me to take down my google review of her

[mylunareclipse]

Hi @Moo. I feel like you need to be gentle with yourself. While yes you fabricated some of the review, guess what? the part that you fabricated and lied about was to actually make her look good! The bad part was all true. I think it's super creepy that your ex-t went so far as to find out who you were by finding out your friend and finding out you are friends with her, that's like borderline stalking.
I would just ignore her and not respond to her emails.
I think maybe you should just let the dust settle for some time and then maybe if you feel more comfortable doing so just go and omit the fabricated part and change your friends name to just initials or something.
Either way in the big picture, your therapist was crappy to you so you have a right to write whatever review you please to write. You're not saying she's crappy to everyone you're just sharing your experience.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

Hi @Moo. I feel like you need to be gentle with yourself. While yes you fabric...

thank you..the way you write is so kind and gentle it immediately calmed my nervous system down. i wish i could talk to myself like that all the time...

i agree, i did not write the review primarily to destroy her. yes there is anger there but my main reason was to make people aware. she wasn't hearing me so i felt the need for the online world to hear me. i found it weird that shes been in practice 30 plus years and has no reviews.

i don't know about the US but in canada i have seen reviews on Ts especially if they are a psychologist. i fabricated those parts to make it more of a balanced review. i realize now from everyone's comments, that that's not the way to do things and i will make it right in time. i ALSO felt very creeped out that she called and emailed me to have it removed saying that ive discovered that you're friend's with this person etc. Plus after her call there was immediately a five star review on her site to hide mine.

 

[sammy44]

I go through reviews before deciding on a service.

I went to 3 T's...who had zero reviews.
One T, after first appt. i never went back. kept on interrupting and assumed too much.
second T, went several times to give him a fair chance, but guy just repeated the same thing over and over and gave me same resources. dropped him
3rd T was just weird and awkward.

if someone had left reviews, i wouldnt have wasted my time and money.
I do appreciate ppl who write reviews.
my current T has all 5 star reviews and he is great so far.

when u write reviews you are helping others, its upto them if they still want to see the same T or not.
I think your review is fine. alot of ppl write anonymous reviews and you wrote positive things about couples counseling, so its not like she is going to sue u for that?

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Is it evil/wrong to leave a bad online review for an ex T you didn't like? and should you take it down if they ask you to?

Nope. As long as it's the truth. And nope, if it's the truth I would refuse to take it down.

People rely heavily on reviews. I am one of those. I want to know how people felt after experiencing said professional or thought about an item after buying said item. First hand experience of someone that already experienced it is invauleable to me. And many are out there just like me that would appreciate an honest bad review and NO ONE has a right to ask you to take down a google review. If they can be found on google then google gives you the chance to place a review. Good or bad or indifferent. If they want to filter out bad reviews then they shouldn't be on google. To me, that is them only wanting good reviews to be seen and in my opinion that is just as bad as buying good reviews, which happens a lot so these honest reviews from someone that actually experienced said professional is even more valueable.

Now, if it's not true then that's another story and would be bordering slander in my opinion.

And then there are reviews from those that just have an ax to grind and had conflict and you can tell just is out to hurt the professional or business. You can tell they are angry and add in a ton of emotions. Those I do not read or weight as if you are just out for revenge and are not giving just an honest review of your experience then it really cannot be taken seriously.

I did not see that in your review but I wouldn't leave your friend's name on it.

So reviews all need to be weighed. But those honest ones, good or bad, are invauleable. Those are the ones I read and base my decision to higher or go to the professional or buy the item. I read at least 100 reviews of each, compare them with like professionals/items, ask a ton of questions if possible all before making my decision to higher/go to the professional or buy the item.

I also look at reviews of apartments, areas to live, etc.

With all of that said, when I can leave a review, good or bad or indifferent, I do. I know there are many out there like myself that can benefit from the review. And I would NEVER pull down a review just because it was bad. Think of Ebay. That is how they obtain a good seller rating. By reviews. Amazon functions this way as well. Reviews are valueable. Even if it is bad.

i guess she googled my friends name (i used my friends account) and found out we were friends on Facebook.

There is something very wrong about that. My therapist would NEVER google anyone let alone to try to find out whom put in a bad review of him and then try to find them on Facebook. Personally, that seems super creepy.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

Running it by you guys before I change the review. How does this sound:
I saw T for childhood trauma at the hands of a parent. I did not find it beneficial. It might not have been her strongest area, at the time I received the services.

 

[LuckiLee]

I would just write that she isn't a trauma therapist, and leave it at that.

 

[anthony]

Why a therapist would have online reviews just boggles my mind. Not a service you would want such a thing for IMHO.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@anthony, my therapist has a few online profiles that have reviews (including google) and then a few that don't (like psychology today).

I'm not 100% sure they are used much for therapists as there are only 5 reviews on google and he has been practicing over 25 yrs and what works for one may be horrible for another. What is horrible for one maybe amazing for another. But they are there.

I didn't search for him and happened upon him by complete accident. I think if I were searching for another therapist, though, I probably would just to make sure I wasn't about to trust my entire being with a complete wack. I've been to 4 horrid "therapists" and so that would worry me and I think I would be much more cautious and would use reviews to do just that.

But then maybe that's just Americans? Review everything and everyone. Though @Moo is in Canada so I dunno.

@Moo, that sounds fine. Just put your honest experience. Honest is important here. If your experience was bad and you want to elaborate a bit, then do that. If you don't then don't. As long as it's honest and not emotionally fueled, that is all that matters.

 

[Deanna]

Hi there Moo. Thanks for the thread
I don't read reviews and believe them to be made up crap. I would...

Couldn't agree more. It's mostly people that get paid to write reviews. I had a guy/girl? contat me and said they had completed several reviews for some businesses and it would come with a price. ( pros at this! I have a small business is why I know)
I've never believed in the review system.

To the OP..you've got a communication problem with your T. You need to tell her/him to kiss your a@s in person and not on some board. That's nothing but unresolved issues. If I read that review, I would say- both issues go together. To forgive an abuser is not possible but you have to change (or let go) in some degree because you can't have real intimacy with your husband.

That is what your review would say to me.

That's my truth. I understand your upset but you need to contact the therapist and resolve it.

 

[joeylittle]

I saw T for childhood trauma at the hands of a parent. I did not find it beneficial. It might not have been her strongest area, at the time I received the services.

I think this is far more accurate than what you posted at the outset.

Will posting the above help you achieve this -

my main reason was to make people aware. she wasn't hearing me so i felt the need for the online world to hear me

or, do you think anything is missing?

You’ll need to accept that posting anything does not equate with ‘being heard’ - it’s on the reader to decide whether or not to listen. But if speaking up publically will be beneficial for you, and your new message does that, it seems like a productive decision all around.

If she had apologized or even acknowledged that maybe it was too soon for me to do that and asked to see me again, things would have been different. How do I let go of my anger if I take the review down? I want justice

Im glad you’ve moved on from this, because there is no justice to be had in a situation like the one you describe. She was a provider, you were a client. I understand your feelings - but ultimately - (and this is hard, I know) - she is not more or less responsible than you.

and i just want other people to know shes not good at deep work

But how do you truly know that? I’m not sure you can.

What you can absolutely know is your own experience. That’s always something you can speak to.

I want to be clear - I’m not saying you are wrong. It’s totally possible that she’s a dreadful therapist.

But unless you have done a fairly large amount of trauma therapy, you probably don’t have enough of a basis of comparison.

You can talk about your experience, how it was not beneficial for you, and what your opinion of the reason is. Other people are free to judge for themselves.

I’ve had some disappointments with therapists as well. The one good thing is, each time you go back to therapy, you get better at therapy itself - asking for what you need, directing your own care to the extent you can, listening to that instinct that says ‘I don’t think this therapist is right for me’. I know that doesn’t undo 6 months of frustration, but hopefully it’ll make the next time smoother.

 

[Deleted member 38906]

The one good thing is, each time you go back to therapy, you get better at therapy itself - asking for what you need, directing your own care to the extent you can, listening to that instinct that says ‘I don’t think this therapist is right for me’.

that's very true. now that i have a new trauma therapist, in hindsight i can see how unsuited my ext-T was at trauma therapy. It's the little things i ignored at the time about her, but now i realize those little things were important.

for example, if i were to tell her how hurt i felt by a comment she made, or that my mind does these crazy things to twist facts so that if feels like she is attacking/ or ignoring me, she wasn't able to work with that information and go deeper. She would say something like, well that's not what i'm doing, and she would subtly turn my focus to a real relationship (a boyfriend for example) and keep reminding me in future sessions that the therapy isnt a 'real' relationship and ask what would you do if it was your boyfriend. i need someone who believes that therapy is real and a practice ground for other relationships.

with my new T, he's more likely to directly reassure me. he tells me he likes me constantly and that he doesn't think i am evil and he will not leave or abandon me and that he genuinely wants to help me. even though its hard to believe him, it's incredibly reassuring to hear those words and it keeps me going back.

as for the review, im leaning more towards removing it all together now. i feel like i should have done it correctly from the start. now that i am found out by her, i just think its better to remove it quietly all together. i want to be able to go to seminars and lectures where i know we have a good chance of bumping into each other.

 

[Flip flop]

Is it evil/wrong to leave a bad online review for an ex T you didn't like? and should you take it down if t...

Sounds to me like she is out of bounds....definitely OUT OF BOUNDS and IMO should rein herself in. Good on you and shame on her!