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Crisis line told me to help myself. no other support for suicidal ideation.

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What? How is that progressive to refuse to suggest healthy ways to cope? Argh.

I do believe it’s how they are trained. I can see where it might sometimes be appropriate to do and say what they did in the context of a more complete conversation...

But when I’m really on the edge, damn, I mean let’s be real. PTSD is a mental illness, and if I’m calling them, I can barely can keep my head in 2017... I don’t get why, “how about taking a big deep breath with me and telling me what you see around you...” would be so harmful.

I know they want to focus on strengths, and empowerment, and not create dependency... but if they can’t even suggest one single alternative to death to someone in crisis, what are they even there for? To listen? I mean that’s good and all...

I can also see how they are not taking the place of a therapy service either.

And I get they might do this with a repeated texter, but this was the first time I ever tried them out.

The folks at RAINN’s hotline have saved my life in a bad spot after trauma. I could talk about the rape, and they could tell me, and did, actual things to cope and do just to get through the mental health crisis. It was years ago. I called them once a year after the rape, told them I’m a rape trauma survivor, and I just need some help mentally now. I was dissociated. They talked for about 5 minutes. They had suggestions to cope. I pulled back off the edge. It worked.
 
I agree. It's not helpful.
I don’t get why, “how about taking a big deep breath with me and telling me what you see around you...” would be so harmful.
Exactly, and I wish you had revived that.I have seen you help so many people through crisis's here. You have helped me through several of my own. You deserve the help you need, and not just because you have given that help to plenty of others.

So, with that said, have you tried taking off your shoes and socks and concentrating on the sensations of the floor on your feet? Perhaps having a box with different tactile objects to hold in your hands and concentrate on how we are able to perceive so many different textures. Of course there are so many different breathing techniques. Plugging one nostril and inhaling the plug the other one and inhale through the opposite nostril. After 4 of 5 breaths switch which one you are inhaling though and which one you are exhaling through.

Tums for anxiety related nausea. Drink some water while bent at the waist. Wrap yourself super tight in a blanket and design something your mind. If money wasn't an issue, what would your dream home look like, how would you decorate it, garden? Would it be in the mountains? A beach? The city? This things help me take control of my thoughts. So, hopefully one of those suggestions might work for you.
 
Their response was to text back that I have “the power” to “figure out” what works best for me. “Everyone is different.”

You know my brothers death help start our state hotline. The staff is all volunteers.. ( my brothers death was in Arkansas 1983) and it was small, , podunk town and 5 teens killed themselves that year ( That just didn't happen- especially kids) in this small town.Then it went national ( in whatever year) to the whole state as a crisis center.

My point is yes, I'm a little bit protective because My BRO didn't call- there was no hotline anywhere at that time. ( Okay,so) My baby brother is dead. Took a gun to his head. If you don't like what they said, perhaps you should volunteer because they are always short of volunteers. My first impression when you said the response was pretty basic ( could be) because of lawsuites. I have no idea..

I'm glad you're here and and reached out. It's a huge step and it's okay. You're okay- everyone here has experienced highs and lows of PTSD. My PTSD is not general. It's complex?But anyway- my point to you was most are volunteers but least they volunteer.

Neat new song-- ( i'll have to look it up and post again) Sweet dreams tonight ( only) My initial response was you need medication.( altered or added)

Logic - 1-800-273-8255 ft. Alessia Cara, Khalid
 
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My point is yes, I'm a little bit protective because My BRO didn't call- there was no hotline anywhere at that time. ( Okay,so) My baby brother is dead. Took a gun to his head. If you don't like what they said, perhaps you should volunteer because they are always short of volunteers. My first impression when you said the response was pretty basic ( could be) because of lawsuites. I have no idea..

But anyway- my point to you was most are volunteers but least they volunteer.

I am so sorry for the loss of your brother, that is a terrible thing to have been through. I wish no one had to ever live through someone's suicide ever again. Recently someone I know was lost to suicide, and those people are devastated.

I don't think poor and substandard assistance is better than no assistance. It can actually be highly dangerous as my own life experiences bear out. Poor and substandard "help" needs to be stamped out. If people are not properly qualified and in supervision for their own issues, then they have no business giving "help" out, and by doing so, potentially inflict further damage to people who have already suffered too much.

Unqualified people providing services can end up being really dangerous, and other professionals can rely on those substandard services to provide services to their patients, which can end up being counter productive.

I don't think it is appropriate to suggest that someone volunteer for such a poor crisis line, what so they too can give poor and substandard assistance as well?

When someone is seeking assistance from a helpline they need actual assistance not some half arsed patronising gibberish. And suggesting that the original poster actually volunteer for such a poor organisation is actually highly inappropriate and unreasonable. It is not the original poster's responsibility to fix the inappropriate crisis line. They should be shut down in my opinion.

I have seen this a lot in the last thirty years, people with their own unresolved issues giving out help, that actually isn't helpful, it actually meets their own needs to be helpful, rather than meet the needs of the people who require, and in this case, emergency help.

You are not responding to the original poster's opening post, you are responding to an implied criticism of this crisis phone line, and saying because you started a crisis line for your brother's suicide, i.e. that you had a need to "help" and that this type of commentary from a person who received very, very poor assistance indeed, should be indeed be grateful for the poor assistance, because unlike your brother they had a crappy phoneline to ring? I would imagine that your brother, when he was suicidal, wouldn't have found the advice that the opening poster received of any more use than the opening poster gained.

Poor, crappy services, run by volunteers, who are meeting their own needs to be useful, helpful or have a purpose in their lives, or somehow make up for the lack in the life of the person that they wish had rung a crisis line, doesn't help at all, it just makes the waters muddier.

No one would allow someone to operate on them who wasn't properly trained in medical and then a surgical specialisation. Untrained, unprofessional help often cause a lot more damage then they help, and only those who are competent, highly trained individuals should be involved. It is not about meeting your needs, it is about meeting the needs of the original poster. Which the alleged crisis line failed to do, and no no one needs to be grateful for a crappy helpline, and it would be a waste of time to volunteer for an organisation like that, that is my two cents worth.
 
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I don't think it is appropriate to suggest that someone volunteer for such a poor crisis line, what so they too can give poor and substandard assistance as well? When someone is seek assistance from a helpline they need actual assistance not some half arsed patronising gibberish.

That person that answered her call was in a 12 step program ( AA-NA) She was relating the steps really..Was it poor reception? It's what she knew ( 12 steps)

( Have the power to change within yourself, everyone is different)

Also- thank-you for your condolences. I actually walked up to his open casket and touched him.Then someone told me not to do that. I touched his cold body and thought "why"...His clothes were from my wedding. ( I moved to Texas after I married) so I wasn't there.. He attempted suicide 2 weeks before that. Anyway- thread is not about me.

I was just saying- people can only give away what they know. Nothing more, nothing less and yes, the SH always need volunteers. Basically, no one wants to really volunteer..
 
@Deanna's Gap I am sure the hotline in Arkansas is a great one, but there are a ton of shitty hotlines out there. I am not unfamiliar with suicide, my mother committed suicide, but The hotline @Justmehere spoke with, would not have prevented my mothers or your brothers suicides. I am in an ongoing battle so to speak with my own local hotline and I know they don't take volunteers. You have to have a degree in psychology to work the hotline, but the problem is that they all come from the same horrific university and they are publishing papers in major psychology journals that say this helps more than compassion. This is a real problem and something I feel rather passionate about because I am seeing more people harmed by these hotlines than helped. So while your intentions came from a good place, you have had very different experiences. The reality of the new trends in hotline training is the problem.

It has nothing to do with 12 step programs that I am aware of. could it be? sure, I know next to nothing about what they teach, but those philosophy are being taught to crisis center hotlines. I am quite vocal in trying to make changes in my own local hotline by writing letters and even spoke to the director.

Of all the hotlines I have spoken with, I have found the Boystown hotline to be the best trained.
 
Also- thank-you for your condolences. I actually walked up to his open casket and touched him.Then someone told me not to do that. I touched his cold body and thought "why"...His clothes were from my wedding. ( I moved to Texas after I married) so I wasn't there.. He attempted suicide 2 weeks before that.

You are most welcome. I feel for those that have lost someone to suicide.
 
This is a real problem and something I feel rather passionate about because I am seeing more people harmed by these hotlines than helped.
It is a real problem I was told by a guy on Life Line that when I accepted Jesus into my heart, and embraced my Father once again, despite more than a decade of sexual abuse, I would finally know peace. He actually said something that is totally revolting as well, but I won't type it here. These people are dangerous, and they should not be let lose on the unsuspecting public, and particularly those who have suffered trauma.
 
That person that answered her call was in a 12 step program ( AA-NA) She was relating the steps really..Was it poor reception? It's what she knew ( 12 steps)

A crisis line is not the place to push your religion, your 12 Step program, (unless it is a crisis line for a particular 12 step program) your ideologies, your points of view, or, most dangerous of all, what worked for you in your OWN healing progress. Anyone who is doing that should have the plug pulled on them immediately. People who push what worked for them in their healing progress can be the most destructive of all. This is because, if you don't do recovery in the same way that they want you to, then you are inadvertainly "challenging" the strength of the recovery of what they did, [in their own recovery]. This means they feel entitled in attacking you for "not doing it right" because if it worked for them, it should work for you. Thus if you did it right it would work for you, so obviously you don't really want to get well, or recover or improve. You are a "difficult" or "treatment" resistant client.

(Have the power to change within yourself, everyone is different)

It is not reasonable to expect someone in crisis to have this type of thinking. That is they point, they are in crisis and struggling to stay alive, they are not ringing up so someone can get their jollies by " helping". So no you should not be expected to take the above into consideration when you are ringing a crisis line. Someone rings a crisis line when they are in crisis, their needs are more important than someone who is trying to find purpose in their own lives (because they aren't able to make anymore progress in their own healing, as they lack the courage to take the next steps, so they spend time telling people who ring a crisis line what they wish that they could do for their own healing, or people who have lost someone to suicide so they have a need to "help and assist" to abate their own guilt and shame. That is being incredibly selfish, whilst pretending to be selfless.)

So when someone rings a crisis line it is not an unreasonable expectation that the other person on the other end of the phone will be interested in meeting the needs of the person ringing in crisis. The person in crisis is the centre of the conversation, not the person "volunteering" on the other end of the phone. Personally people can go and act their stuff out on someone a lot less vulnerable.

I was just saying- people can only give away what they know.
I was just saying that it is not appropriate for volunteers, and paid people to give away what they know, when what they know is total BS from the person in crisis point of view i.e. the rubbish that was said to the opening poster, who this thread is actually about.

the SH always need volunteers. Basically, no one wants to really volunteer.
It is not appropriate for untrained "volunteers" or very poorly trained people to (as in the case that @Fadeaway is talking about) to be on a crisis line. Inappropriate and shitty help is not better than no help. That fallacy really needs to be taken out the back and jettisoned over the starboard bow.

Crisis lines are not for the needs people who are "volunteering and/or being paid" to speak to people in crisis. The crisis line is for the person in crisis, other wise it is a waste of time and resources, and in this case the crisis line that @Justmehere rang is a waste of time and resources, and I see this a lot. Incompetently trained people causing damage to those in crisis or who have suffered trauma. Invalidating someone's experience is not helpful for useful, and generally can make someone feel worse. If a crisis line triggers people into feeling worse or more active suicidal activities, then it needs to be closed down, so adequately trained people can take over. That is my two cents worth.
 
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