Relationship Push-pull

[Marije]

@Deanna's Gap the forum is
Shut outs/blocking
Discussion in '[U...

Hi!

It is deff traumatic. Im also left with questions. I hate the ptsd monster, i dont hate him. I hope he find his way although he wont get help.

 

[Marije]

I've never heard your story. Were is it on the forum? I'd love to read it.

Anyway.. I'm PTSD and...

Thank you for writing this down.
Thing is i had to do it ass he said he want to divorce me and dont love me.. i try to remind its not me. But with no effort from his side and i who cant forget his words made me to make this dicission. Although i know he wants me in his life. Its just all really sad ;(

 

[Snowflakes]

Hi!

It is deff traumatic. Im also left with questions. I hate the ptsd monster, i dont hate him. I hop...

That pretty much sums it up. I have been living this for almost 11 years. I have been on this site for almost 1 year. Being on this site has answered most of my questions so perhaps, even though you believe your marriage is over, you might remain here till most of your questions are answered. I think this will help bring you closure.

While my sufferer is still with me and is getting help, the experience has changed me. I am sure my personality has a lot to do with it and I am also sure 11 years have finally wore me out. There is finally peace in my life mostly from all I have learned here but I have lost something. I think that “something” is the connection that first brought my sufferer and I together in the first place.

So, I need to keep coming here for a bit more.....partly to “pay it forward” for those that have helped me survive this past year and partly to find the answer to my questions.

I am sorry that you are in pain; I truly understand what you are going through. Take care of you.

 

[LB226]

I'll try......

So I have three groups of people in my world.

Those in the outside world co workers...

@Freida Thank you for your explanation. As a supporter, it was so very confusing for me to see my ex treat his friends (military "brothers") with love and kindness, only to hand up the phone and become "the stranger" I lived with. I can see clearly...now... how his military friends came first, then family, then me. There was definitely a hierarchy with whom he trusted, and your explanation most likely parallels his experiences. I appreciate you taking your time. You have helped me to fill in yet more empty holes....

 

[Deanna]

@Deanna's Gap the forum is
Shut outs/blocking
Discussion in '[U...

P.S.I read it and responded to that thread. I'm PTSD, my boyfriend is PTSD and now have a cat that is PTSD. She's so pretty but she been beaten up pretty bad, so bad that you could see her bones ( like vertebra) Anyway, We're both in recovery, and the cat is getting there...( She's healed but the owner before me took care of her, she can't be with other cats) My brother is PTSD So-- I take medication and my boyfriend does the med jane ( once in awhile) he was hospitalized in the beginning he didn't like the meds so- he was there for a month and Mr. all natural. The doctor that I get my medication from says I'd be better off with med jane... but I work. So, I really don't want it. I have a block to med jane since I have a suicide in my immediate family.

Back to the subject.. I was pretty bad about shutting my boyfriend out ( he says throwing the baby out with bath water) for about a year and a half, but only for a week. The longest was 3-4 weeks/ He touched my heart- so there was connection. That is about all I realized when I shut him out for a month... I felt that pulling feeling in my heart..so, I knew it was him that I was supposed to have. ( I'd rather have someone tall, corporate, suit and tie type of guy with a yacht-- but no luck there)

The bottom line is we grew together over two years .He didn't shut me out.

 

[Buttercup]

@Deanna's Gap you have me laughing over here. I don't know if you meant any of this to be funny, so hopefully you are not offended that I am chuckling.

That being said, "throwing the baby out with the bath water" is an expression I have used many times. I'm glad you realized your BF is worth sticking around for.

 

[Someonelikeme]

There were/are three thing that mainly made my go nuts in our relationship.

1.Push/pull
2. Months without sex
3. Feeling overwhelmed that I did most of the chores and had very little time for myself.

The push/pull thing was/is really hard for me. There was lot of push and little pull. The push thing like coming home form work and being on the iPad for 4 hours in the bedroom made me nuts. I have only started to learn about Push/pull on here.

 

[Someonelikeme]

Also I never had boundaries for myself. We both went to work, but after work she did the little she did to help and then go right on the iPad for the rest of the night except to cook dinner. I would spend all night doing stuff that needed to be done and had very little time to unwind before going to sleep. I would tell her I can't drive you today to this appointment its to much for me I just need time for myself, but at the end of the day I felt bad and always gave in.

 

[Someonelikeme]

@Deanna's Gap the forum is
Shut outs/blocking
Discussion in '[U...

I'm going through word for word exactly what you posted. Mine is not officially over, but very clear she is going to ask for divorce in my very near future.

 

[Deanna]

Also I never had boundaries for myself. We both went to work, but after work she did the little she did to help...

My best advice would be to hire a housekeeper, once a week, while reading "Boundaries" by Clyde and Thompson. Continue to be a part of this site. I really like it... for supporters and PTSD inflicted people.

 

[krisss]

This thread has put so much into perspective for me.

 

[Gs172003]

I'll try......

So I have three groups of people in my world.

Those in the outside world co workers...

God for some reason it felt Soooo good to read this.