My t keeps pissing off one of my parts...

[Muted]

Every single time I let my T in on a certain part and then the part starts opening up, she will ask a question or just ignore what my part is saying and then the part will back away and in comes big protector part...

She’s been great with my other parts, but this part I don’t understand a lot. I’m trying to deal with this particular part, but what do I do when she screws it up?!

 

[EveHarrington]

Is she scaring an exile?

 

[Muted]

Is she scaring an exile?

Good point, I’m not sure. How do I know if it’s an exile or not?

 

[EveHarrington]

Exiles are oftentimes child parts and they hold the pain of our past. Protectors step in and keep us from feeling that pain.

 

[Muted]

Exiles are oftentimes child parts and they hold the pain of our past. Protectors step in and keep...

I know the part is a bit younger, but I haven’t pinpointed the age. It’s a part that I work hard to keep under control. This part doesn’t come out around just anyone. Last time she screwed up, this part went away for weeks. This has allowed my strongest protector part to take more and more control, which she doesn’t know yet.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can I ask how the part acts when out of control?

I can physically feel when a part is a child part. My child exiles are in pain, shame, fear, and what I call the unprotected one who was abused. My protectors are anger, pushing people away, running away, condescension, etc. They keep me from feeling pain. I can get my protectors to back down pretty easily, but I struggle with managing my exile child parts, I struggle with comforting them and making them feel safe.

 

[Justmehere]

What would you/that part like to happen differently? What does that part want from the therapist?

Has this been communicated to the therapist?

What would be the risk to the part in tolerating the therapists mistakes and continuing to open up anyhow?

 

[Muted]

Can I ask how the part acts when out of control?

I can physically feel when a part is a child pa...

This part just does what it wants and hates people who try and tell it what to do.

 

[Muted]

What would you/that part like to happen differently? What does that part want from the therapist?...

I can’t say, because my protector part won’t let me answer this right now. Everything been clearly communicated to my t. I’ve already been plenty vulnerable with her.

 

[EveHarrington]

Have you tried talking to this part to determine what it needs? Every part needs something.

I’m trying to figure out what my child parts need. It’s not easy.

@Freida is good at this kind of stuff so I’m tagging her. She probably would have some insight.

 

[EveHarrington]

Also, have you tried talking to the protector part? Asking what it needs? Telling it that SELF can handle it?

 

[Muted]

Thanks @EveHarrington and @Justmehere you both ask excellent questions.

It’s hard for me to honestly answer these right now. I do know that it doesn’t want to be controlled by SELF. Last weeks session, It was fighting inside my head to take control.

I need time to explore this part, but I’m afraid of it taking control and my life going out of control.