When/how did you decide you were unfit to return to work b/c of ptsd?

[Stephernovas]

Hey all.

I have always had a tough time calling into work when I was actually sick, let alone faking a sickness. Now, after my trauma, I've been off work for about 5-6 mos. now and don't see anything getting better in the near future. But, I'm having a huge problem letting go and trying to just focus on myself. I always try my hardest to try to make myself feel better and return to normal activities, but in this case, I think I need to work on adjusting to a new lifestyle. I had a doctor bring up returning to work for 2 hours 2 times a week, and I responded with a panic attack. She stated she believes I'll be sent back to school to be re-trained. At this time I don't think I could even handle the stress of that. It is not my intention to be a freeloader, but the more time that passes, the more time I need within a day simply to keep myself regulated (i.e. workout at the gym, eat healthy and practice meditation). I feel as though if I returned to work and tried to do all that to manage my symptoms I would crash and burn.

I'm really confused in deciding when to stand my ground and knowing whole heartedly that returning to work is not in my best interest. I have no problem advocating for myself, but I have trouble with setting boundaries - especially for something this significant. Did you have power over your own decision to not return? I have physical injuries, but accommodations could be made for those. I'm strictly referring to PSTD symptoms being so severe you find work stress to be intolerable. Anyone willing to share?

 

[Friday]

It wasn't a choice or a decision, in my case, either time. It just sort of happened. I went from highly functional to non functional. Pretty much overnight. There wasn't this period of "things are starting to go badly" it seems like a lot of people get, where steps are taken to secure their lives remain -in essence- the same. I just sort of snap. And then a few years later, surface enough to start rebuilding a life from the ground up.

 

[trying2movefwd]

In my case I was hospitalized about 10 times in two years...no way I could have worked if I didn't even have the will to live. I am doing better now and taking time to secure baby steps in a back to work program. Wish me luck...if you need the time off to heal you need the time be it a few weeks, several years, or a lifetime...what matters is learning how to live again or to live for the first time to get past the "just surviving" stage of recovery...you do what is best for you. I still have to tell myself these things as well.

 

[Gamereign555]

I also went non-functional overnight. I got myself halfway manageable by three months and was able to return to work. By then, a management company had moved in and was in the process of illegally laying off everyone, so then and only then did I lose my job as hotel maintenance manager. It was sad but I was really relieved. After some recovery I changed my line of work.

 

[Freida]

I was a slow burn.....memory started going, energy tanked... took my T almost a year to get me to pull the plug. I told myself that I was only off for 3 months at first. Once I got away I started seeing what everyone else did and I'm not going back. It's not worth it. I wish, wish, wish I would have done it way earlier because now there is so much mental, emotional and physical damage to repair, just because I wasn't going to "give in"

 

[The Albatross]

I have not hit the point where I decided I was unfit to return to work, but in all fairness, though there were several major times I probably needed hospitalization, I didn't do it and endeavored to throw all "I" had at my condition.

 

[LanaD]

I was a slow burn.....memory started going, energy tanked... took my T almost a year to get me to pull t...

@Freida, how is your recovering coming along?

 

[Mach123]

When I ended up in the detox. I'm better now but, and I was going to start a thread about this. The downside of disability or more to the point SSDI and the other benefits you qualify for if you are found to be disabled. Disability is good but it's not good. The point is, I am probably unemployable now. I was probably more employable when I crashed and burned. Do you know if you don't do things you lose the ability to do them? I could go on and on, and I usually do.

 

[MrMoonlight]

There was no choice for me, when long term unemployment ended at work I had to get on SSDI. Probably doesn't help the thread much but...

 

[Freida]

Hi @LanaD Sorry - I just realized I didn't answer you! I've been off for 4 months now and its going both better and worse. Better because the pressure is off of trying to juggle a high stress job with recovery. I'm starting to see why my Ts were amazed I was functioning at all when I look back over the last year. I've done alot of sleeping and just hanging out with the dog and I'm actually like it! Totally unexpected - I'm the one who always has to be busy. And my pain pill use has gone down probably more than half!!

Worse because there is nothing to distract my brain from the crap I've been trying to hide all these years. It's a lot to try to come to terms with and my progress is agonizingly slow. And I'm coming into an anniversary so ..well.. that's problematic.

I'm cautiously optimistic........

 

[Stephernovas]

my pain pill use has gone down probably more than half!!

can I ask what happened to you?


I still don't think it's advisable to return me to work yet. I loathe how I have to not only struggle with deciding that for myself (loss of independence), but also, having to prove it to worker's comp who are so freaking eager to send me back. I basically live in daily fear of abandonment from my supports, and feeling like a loser for not being able to cope better.

 

[shimmerz]

I had a doctor bring up returning to work for 2 hours 2 times a week, and I responded with a panic attack.

Any idea if this panic attack was related to outstanding work issues? Is there something about work in particular that makes you anxious?

At this time I don't think I could even handle the stress of that.

Yeah, I couldn't either back in the day. I tried and had the most massive panic attack known to mankind. For me it was about being in a room full of people. I couldn't focus on the content of the training on top of where the doors/people/teacher were in relation to me and my being able to bolt if I needed to. *heavy sigh*. Had nothing to do with the training itself, but more about how incredibly unsafe it all felt to me. I didn't know that at the time. I just felt like a complete freak. Which wasn't helpful. Still isn't.

It is not my intention to be a freeloader,

The word freeloader is a construct. Made up by the capitalists who run this society. People buy into the word. Everyone here understands not being able to work. No need to say you aren't one because we all know that the work you are doing now is harder than anything else you will ever do. This isn't fun times at Ridgemount High. Others may like to label it as such, but we get it.