Sexual Assault Did you ever antagonize your abuser(s)? Did you decide you wanted it?

Mach123

MyPTSD Pro
Yes all these situations are similar and I live with this everyday. The psycho sexual reenactment is evident to me in all my relationships in retrospect. It’s simple and complex at the same time. There are different components or parts, I push or pull things around and get the actors in their places. Then the different scenes run over and over.
 

LiVeNoW

New Here
Actually, I think in an effort to have some form of attention or to at least be noticed. It often can start out this way! I apologize, I'm not as tech savvy as I'd like to be. Im unable to cut and paste
.I think going back several years ago, I can say, we justify our being attacked or abused for many reasons. They are of course not healthy reasons.

No one wants this form of attention initially at all. Weve chosen to trust the wrong people, often pedophiles or those who struggle with addiction and abusive behavior. As children, we wouldn't necessarily understand these issues. Love can look like many things to a child whose chosen to disassociate from his experience in order to protect himself. Maybe he confuses sex with love, as that is the only form of attention he receives. There are five love languages.
1) Physical Touch
2) Quality time
3) Words of Affirmation
4) Gifts of service
5) Gifts

As distorted as this may seem, being assaulted may get you gifts as an apology
Sexual assault may yield some form of touch
Abuse, a verbal apology and an I love you, although this appears highly screwed up
Abuser's spend an enormous amount of quality time, trying to rectify what they know on a personal level, via physical abuse, as otherwise they lack empathy for their choice to hurt us.

I think its brave, its honest, and its forthright to own our situation and our part in it. I felt an enormous amount of pain, and shame when my molester took advantage of me at age 15. Needless to say, our teenage hormones are raging at this time and this person took an enormous amount of time to build up my trust in him as an imitation Father Figure. My own biological Father would have never crossed that boundary. Although, many others had been crossed with my loved ones, he now owns this and it's hard to watch, yet exhilarating for those who were abused at the hands of his rage. Having spent over 9 years in the Pen, one has to learn to fight per his words or be raped at the hands of others.

They ask us not to identify with our Abusers, but pray tell, how else can we understand the insanity of a person's choices then to hear or witness their conditioning.

I honestly feel it is not in us to choose to harm, but we can be conditioned to make those choices to survive.

I also think choosing to own our part of any form of abuse, no matter how it started, gives us power as adults to make healthier choices for our future. Dont know if this is allowed, so please correct me. There are several books I'd like to mention that may help many of us come to terms and continue on our road of healing. Am I aloud to mention these here?. They are written some of them, by Drs of Psycholgy, others by reformed Drug Addicts, Alcoholic 's. Please let me know, as I wish to be of assistance.
 
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