I guess i will start here..

[Jen37]

Can you put in place a court order to stop him coming near you or ur daughter?

I have. I had an OFP on him for 6 years. In those 6 years he violated it constantly. Every time I called the police I rolled the dice on if I got a nice officer or an ass that got annoyed with me for bothering them when they "would probably just have to come back in a week cause I invited him over or something". That officer I threw out of my house. Other times they would just call his cell phone and leave him a message to stop it. Once he was arrested and put on probation for violating the order. He screwed that up and did a little time in the work house, then was released no longer having to check in or do the drug and alcohol screenings. I asked the judge to permanently put the order in place, but she said he would have to be convicted of violating it more than once. Since the cops just kept basically calling him and telling him I turned him in, Then left him on the streets pissed as hell that I called the cops on him. Plus the terror of having to go to court with him every 2 years, I just gave up on the piece of paper that was supposed to protect me. Maybe if I am able to move to a new city eventually I will try again. But as long as I live where I live, I know the police will not help me and actually they end up putting me in more danger. I have tried going to the police department to talk to someone about it, I have asked for the chief of police, and all they did was brush me off. I am unfortunately on my own. I am very disappointed in this. But what else can I do?

 

[Deleted member 12723]

The piece of paper is now useless to you because of the way that the police are mismanaging your case and complaints. Is it possible to file a report complaining about this with that department.

Be safe,, keep your windows and doors locked and put up whatever lights around you place that you can afford. Get a security system where if the alarm goes off they actually show up at your house. Keep a phone connected to an anwering maching to document all incoming calls from him and get another new phone number that you use with all of the people that know about your situation and will protect your right to privacy and safety. Quit talking to him on the phone and from now on just record and moniter his calls to you.

Document everything so that you have a record of all occurances so that becomes your evidence to show the police.

Take a different route everywhere that you can. Let your employer know what is going on so they will protect your privacy and not give him any information over the phone unwittingly. Tell all what you are doing to your most trusted family members and friends who will also do the same thing.

Have them all quit talking to him if they have been. Your safety is paramount right now. I know this is hard and complicated yet these are the things to do that will help you in the end. Good luck.

 

[Jen37]

The piece of paper is now useless to you because of the way that the police are mismanaging your case and...

Thank you so very much! I will do all I can.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Thank you so very much!

You are most welcome! I just learned a lot along the way but most of what I learned came from the book. Good luck and keep me updated please? Hugs. I think you are very brave and couragous in trying to get free of him. I do hope that you and your friends and family will be left alone for a very long time.

 

[Jen37]

I am having the worst time lately. My insurance changed and I had to find a new psychiatrist because my old one didn't take my new insurance. I figured it was no big deal, just get set up with someone new and thats that. Unfortunately this new psychiatrist decided to completely change up my meds and I do not like how I am feeling. I tried to explain the reasons why I want to go back, but she will not. I was on 100 mg of Seroquel every night at bed and 2 to 3 mg of Klonopin daily. She switched me to 200 mg Seroquel at bed and 300 mg of Gabapentin every morning and 300 mg of it at bed time and stopped the Klonopin. I stopped taking the gabapentin because it makes me feel just off or wrong whatever. But the extra Seroquel makes my restless legs and overall tense and twitchy self so much worse. I still had 100 mg tabs and switched back and it has improved a bit. But I took the Klonopin not only for help with falling asleep and the restless legs and anxiety attacks, but it also helps me with my TMJ problems. It took 4 years of unspeakable pain and a huge pain med dependency plus 4 separate surgeries to repair my jaw which was messed up thanks to repeated blows to the face by a fist half the size of my head. Anyway, they fixed the worst of it, and I no longer need any kind of pain medication other than the occasional advil. But the Klonopin helped to relax my facial muscles when tense and when sleeping. I grind my teeth at night which for someone with a jaw joint this deteriorated is a very big no no. My old psychiatrist knew this, and coordinated my dosage accordingly. Now this new doctor will not prescribe the Klonopin because she does not give benzodiazipines. And she was very bothered by the fact that I will no longer take the gabapentin. I so hate the idea of having to switch docs again, but I suppose it isn't that big of a deal. It took years for my old doc and I to decide on these meds and dosages, it shouldn't be a problem to find a doc that will follow what I had already been doing, I hope. I have also started therapy with a new psychologist. So far she seems great. I have a hard time with trust and a very hard time talking about anything really, but she is kind and patient and I like her. I hope it works out well for me. O.K. I feel a little better. I just had to vent because I am tired but my legs think they are running a freaking marathon right now. GRRR drives me crazy!!