Idk what to do

[pizza]

something happened to me in the past. I don't know what, but something. now im stuck. no one ever really gets me when I say this, but I need a good long cry and then I feel like I'll be fine. I'm fasting now and hoping that will induce that. I've tried everything this is a last resort. ive read articles saying that fasting can help induce a emotional release.

I dont know what else to do. ive tried

-EFT
-Emotion code (heart wall removal)
-regular talk therapy
-reiki
-pranic healing
-MDMA
-Shrooms

none of it has worked to help remove this trauma or whatever from my body.

is there anything you all would say to this?

 

[joeylittle]

something happened to me in the past. I don't know what, but something.

Can you say more about this?

 

[pizza]

Can you say more about this?

I'd be glad to

I'm going to try to explain everything and if it sounds strange, sorry, but plz try to understand.

I feel constantly on the verge of crying. I feel like there's some kind of negative energy trapped near the area of my heart. in like a metaphysical way...

whenever I "breathe into my heart", a bunch of the energy comes up which makes tears come up , a lump in my throat.. its overwhelming.. the trauma energy is trying to get out and it does that in the form of tears.

I'm unable to form connections with others, or even feel joy or positive feelings because of this. there is some sort of block there. maybe an "emotional block" from abuse and trauma. i feel like I need to cry it all out. idk how to, though.

I'm sorry if this is not the right place for this and I know I might sound very "woo woo", but this is what I'm feeling and it sucks. I'm stuck and I dont know any way to get this old negative energy from the past out of me so I can be free to create my future.

everyone thinks I'm just being a baby but I'm really not.. I really need help

 

[Ineedtoheal]

something happened to me in the past. I don't know what, but something. now im stuck. no one ever really gets me when I...

Hello Pizza your distress is a terrible burden to carry. We hold on to pain/trauma for so long that it actually becomes a bit like a ‘comfort zone’ - it’s all you’ve known, any happiness was only ever intermittent episodes followed by escalating abuse/assault/attack. Moving away from Domestic violence & living with ptsd is like having a flat in the first wheel, & then getting a nail caught in the second wheel - ha, maybe that’s why I stopped riding my bike laugh out loud - I moved back into a car, this way I always have a spare tyre & I’m in the drivers seat, plus I get to choose the passengers on the ride, - to you it’s normal to keep touching the wound.
You are trying to remove something that you cannot do! This is the first lesson in healing I had to learn, I thought that writing about it, standing up & speaking out would make it go away - that.i would be completely healed, but all you are really doing is disassociating, avoiding & not wanting to take responsibility - or to be very blunt ‘ownership of your shit - you see, it happened to you, you can’t blame anyone now for what occured, Acceptance is what begins the journey towards a better way of life, understanding that it doesn’t ever go away, acknowledging the hurt & anger - but you learn to manage it, to improve yourself, to set better boundaries, to look at why those violations occurred, to not beat yourself up when you have a bad day or week or maybe month or year - who cares - stop trying to live by the expectations of others - be real to yourself,everyone has a different story to tell, it doesn’t make their trauma worse or better than yours & what works for some people won’t necessarily do the same for you. What will work though is educating yourself, helping others by sharing your struggles & successes (you are Amazing, you’re still here & trying) & finding a passion, something that ‘drives’ you to want to make a difference, something that can put the smile back on your beautiful face. Keeping the mind busy is important, - as difficult as it can be try & challenge yourself by doing puzzles, reading, online courses, hobbies - have a daily mantra you repeat to yourself, it sounds corny but it kinda works. The hardest one is trying to keep the heart open to receive others in goodwill, this takes a whole lot of faith & will test your resilience on the occasions where it continues to break, fight against the force that wants to shut you down, or make you hate - for this is so easy to do, instead challenge yourself to try a little harder, do a little better,and be a bit brighter - & it’s okay to be stuck, if others had experienced what you went through, they would be struggling to cope too.

 

[joeylittle]

there is some sort of block there. maybe an "emotional block" from abuse and trauma.

Just trying to understand what you are saying, here.

You are saying that you don't know whether or not for certain you have experienced any sort of trauma, but it is what makes sense to you as the reason for the feelings you are having. Is that right?

none of it has worked to help remove this trauma or whatever from my body.

There are a lot of options in that "or whatever". How old are you, and how long ago did you become aware of this feeling of trapped negative energy?