Please explain minimising.

[Abstract]

It's probably a bit ridiculous that I still don't understand this fully but there it is. I know what it looks and sounds like. I am not clear of the motivation or of the the vehicle behind it. Or if that varies. I think I may but am not sure. Thoughts? Articles? What is it not? Thank you!

 

[Sideways]

Minimising is a form of cognitive distortion - in essence, it’s not giving a fact as much acknowledgement as it deserves. Common example: I tell you that you make great contributions here, and you agree but have a whole stack of reasons why that doesn’t count for anything, and so you dismiss my statement.

I tend to find that there are 2 completely different ways that it impacts me.

Generally applied as a cognitive distortion to my everyday thoughts? Minimising tends to work to basically disregard my good points, or compliments I receive. I focus on the negative stuff, and when I’ve actually achieved something positive or done a good thing or been complimented, “it doesn’t really count because...”.

But minimising in terms of my trauma? It applies the same cognitive distortion, but tends to play out slightly differently. My trauma doesn’t count because... My trauma isn’t that traumatic because... My trauma isn’t such a big deal in my life because...

With the more general everyday thoughts, like if someone pays me a compliment? It’s more of the straght-up garden variety minimising - I can accept that the compliment has some truth to it, it’s just that I can totally swamp it with all my negative points.

When I’m minimising my trauma? I tend to be using the language of minimising, but what’s actually going on is closer to flat out denial - not being able to really acknowledge my trauma for what it is at all.

 

[jaccat]

I do this a lot. Particularly with past events. The way I imagine it, it's crushing a mountain down to the size of a molehill, and then going over it with a steamroller. It is a way to protect myself from the memories. If the event wasn't a big deal then it can't have affected me, I don't need to make an issue out of it, I must be fine, move on...

I do it with compliments as well, anything nice that is said to me. @Sideways nailed it there.

 

[Freida]

if you say....
What happened was no big deal
Oh it wasn't that bad
Other people have it worse
I'm just whining about nothing
I need to just suck it up
Etc...

Chances are you are minimizing

 

[Muttly]

Minimizing can be a learned form of self-protection. If you had other people in your life, deny your experience or get upset at you for mentioning your pain, experience, thoughts, etc you learn to do it to yourself first.

Think about the kid, whose parents tell him to shut up and quit crying when he's hurt. They tell him he needs to knock off the attention seeking. Kid can't stop crying and gets punished. That kid is going to learn to think and say his injuries aren't bad.

 

[Justmehere]

See that mountain over there? (Feeling fear about the size of Mt Everest) - oh, it’s not that big. It’s really like a molehill. Not a big deal at all. I can totally climb a molehill just fine on my own.

 

[Gs172003]

if you say....
What happened was no big deal
Oh it wasn't that bad
Other people have it worse
I'm just w...

I'm still trying to figure out if I'm just being an idiot.

 

[Justmehere]

You are not an idiot

 

[Gs172003]

You are not an idiot

I don't know how to quit feeling that way but thanks

 

[Freida]

I'm still trying to figure out if I'm just being an idiot.

If you have to ask.....you're not

 

[Gs172003]

If you have to ask.....you're not

Really?

 

[shimmerz]

Says the child to his teacher when she notices the gash on his head.....

Oh, no, I am fine. My dad just bumped into me.

Minimizing. Usually has to do with pain - emotional or physical. Mainly a self protective measure since child has learned that not minimizing the reality of a situation will lead to yet more pain. Emotional or physical.