Why did you choose the forum name you use?

[littleoc]

I come from Nordic (Viking ) stock as well. I never knew anything else as being normal growing up. I...

( Okay, last aside :P

I felt so similarly when I saw lava flows in Iceland! Just like I was seeing the raw Earth without so much plant on it. Maybe that's why I'm so interested? :)

But anyway. )

 

[void]

You can do it!

You are a wonderful person for taking the time to write that!
Many thanks for your kindness.:hug:

I only wish I could have the hope that you've expressed. Something to work toward.
May life reward your kindness.

 

[nowthisisme]

I don't have much of an imagination and my PTSD brain didnt seem to allow me to think of a name. I was struggling to come up with something i haven't used before and something different then my personality. Like many of you I was worried someone I know will find my profile. My brain just froze and wouldn't come up with anything, I became frustrated and said crap i guess now this is the new me.

So I just used now this is me.

 

[Socha]

That says it all: Socha: The Hidden Vulnerability of Others

 

[void]

feeling like a monster

@DharmaGirl

A lot of us do this, but very few of us understand why.(not that I do completely, of course)
The reasons why are complex, but the following may be part of the mechanism and underlying cause.

1. Child is abused.

2. Child is dependent and powerless. Child needs caregiving in order to survive.

3. Abuser is an existential threat to the child, and is the source of terrible pain/distress.

4. Child fears rejecting(resisting, defying, lashing out against, etc...) the Abuser, b/c doing so could increase the severity of the abuse or even be life-threatening. Also, the Child fears rejecting the Abuser b/c the caregiving(what little there is) could stop completely, resulting in death.

5. So, the child rejects themselves(turns against themselves), labels themselves as 'the Monster'.

All of the anger, hate that is really for the Abuser(as it should be), is re-directed toward the Self. The Child begins the pattern of Self-anger, Self-hatred, Self-destruction, Self-blame, and much more.

Of course if actual skilled programming is involved, the issues become even more complex.

Anyway, some food for thought.

 

[Deleted member 541]

It was a Knick name my grandfather gave me as a young child. He’s said I fought like a mother cat protecting her kittens, thus, She Cat.

 

[SaharaSon]

You are a wonderful person for taking the time to write that!
Many thanks for your kindness.:hug:

I only w...

Void, we are all learning to be fighters here. We all have to fight back against the darkness. We have had more than our fair share. As Winston Churchill said " We must stiffen our resolve." Exercise, eat good food, learn about nutrients, it takes energy to fight. We are in a real boxing match. Learn how to fight. You can overcome. ;)

 

[SaharaSon]

( Okay, last aside :p

I felt so similarly when I saw lava flows in Iceland! Just like I was seeing t...

Yah, the Sahara is just like one giant lava flow, particularly in the summer. Even the scorpians hide! :D

 

[DharmaGirl]

but very few of us understand why

It's fascinating, isn't it? Then you get to move along to nothing I do is worthwhile. It took a lot to get out of that belief system. Some people here were uncomfortable calling me Monster, so that added to the change. I remember sitting in an assertiveness training class, and they were discussing how abused children grow up to be abusers, almost 100% if the time, (this was in the late 80's) and I responded that abused children grow up to be abused. You might have thought I was an alien. Ideas have changed for the better since then.

 

[littleoc]

I remember sitting in an assertiveness training class, and they were discussing how abused children grow up to be abusers, almost 100% if the time, (this was in the late 80's) and I responded that abused children grow up to be abused.

Wow, that recently people said stuff like that? I guess they didn't know, but wow. Way to throw a ton of people under the bus

 

[SaharaSon]

@DharmaGirl

A lot of us do this, but very few of us understand why.(not that I...

Wow, what an articulate arguement. I think you have a future as a writer/analyst/ psycologist. I was abandoned by my mom at a very young age. She returned after a many, many months, but by that time a lot of serious damage had been done. A lot. Talk about rejection. One of the things that bothers me alot today as I look back on it, is that my brothers and my dad (who were with her) never talked to me about it. Not once. Talk about not having a pair. They knew what happened, I was left alone with strangers in a strange land at a very young age. It is one of the reasons I don't completely trust anybody. As a young kid you blame yourself. I have been carrying this d*mn ball and chain around with me my whole life.The people closest to me threw me under the bus. Nice. Oh well, live and learn. I'm moving on. :D

 

[Deleted member 34328]

Wow... this is a really interesting thread to read.

When I saw the title I seriously wondered why anyone would reveal this much about themselves...as the gender poll... however, this is actually really interesting and supportive...my name is really boring...I should find something a little more creative :wtf: