Gift for t’s office. is this weird?

[UnicornSightings]

So my t has tea (haha!) and honestly, the ones he has kinda suck so I bring in my own sometimes and an extra for him (cause I think it’s rude not to offer). Today I found a box that seems like it would really go well with his philosophy (like the words on the box match his message sort of). Anyway, I’m not used to doing thoughtful things and I’m feeling really weirded out by it and am analyzing why I’m doing it. Basically, I think it would be nice and I want to try it as well and it would be for all his clients. Is this weird? Is it like overstepping cause he provides the tea? I know this is such a small thing and I feel silly asking but can you normal humans just please tell me I I’m being weird? Will he read into it? It’s just tea but I know they usually have a no gift policy. I feel stupid posting this lol

 

[barefoot]

I don’t think it’s weird or overstepping.

Whether he accepts a gift of any sort will depend on his policy. My T has accepted a couple of gifts from me but they have not been very expensive things.

What’s your reason for wanting to buy it for him?

 

[UnicornSightings]

I think I just want to be kind. I saw it and thought of him. That’s how I am. Or rather, how I was. I turned off the thoughtfulness switch a long time ago but have been opening up more to people in my life and being considerate but this is still new. And I have only seen him a few months, we just have a fun bond and I thought it would be nice.

I really hate that I feel like I can’t even be nice. Like that I question everything I do....

 

[barefoot]

Then I think it’s definitely not weird or overstepping :)

 

[UnicornSightings]

I think it’s also cause he has been thoughtful. Like the first day we met he said he was gonna get tea (he didn’t have any yet) and he asked me what kind I liked. He ended up buying a box of it for me for the next session. And he sent a text saying to be careful on the ice and follow ups that are just really thoughtful. I blame him for this lol

 

[UnicornSightings]

Then I think it’s definitely not weird or overstepping :)

Ok thank you! And thanks for not thinking my question was dumb!

 

[barefoot]

He sounds like a good person to be practising kindness with - both in terms of giving and receiving.

 

[barefoot]

Not a dumb question at all!

 

[Justmehere]

How will you feel if he says no?

 

[UnicornSightings]

How will you feel if he says no?

Awkward and bad but I could deal with it after a little bit of work on my thoughts, self-compassion and all that. I doubt he will decline it but I guess he could. I almost want to ask him first.

 

[Deleted member 37474]

I gave my T a Christmas gift. A necklace with charms on it that represented things that she taught me in grounding. I don’t expect her to wear it, lol. It was one of those “thought that counts” situations and it fit in the money rules of under $25. She displayed my Christmas card on her shelf the next two times I came in. (Guessing she maybe put it away when I left). Since I wasn’t sure if gifts were allowed, I snuck the necklace into the card, lol. Some of my private students give me gifts at Christmas and most do not. It doesn’t change how I feel about them either way, but I have noticed that I have a really good connection with the ones that typically bring gifts. I think that wanting to give a gift to your T is an act of appreciation and healthy attachment.

 

[Lionheart]

So not a dumb question!!!!

I once bought a gift for my T that turned our getting rejected because it was too personal.

I was totally embarrassed and it hurt my feelings at first.. But I returned the gift and purchased a small pine tree which she planted on her farm to remind her of me. So it turned out okay, but it was a humiliating moment and I admire you for asking the question.