Experience with 'locking up' (being unable to speak) in therapy

[Deleted member 45661]

Hi All,

Does anyone have any experience with ‘locking up’ or being unable to speak when trying to talk about specific parts of their trauma?

I’ve been trying to engage in a reliving exercise with my T which involves me closing my eyes, visualising the trauma memory and talking her through it in the present tense. I’ve written down a sort of statement of my trauma before, and I’ve said it out loud in the past tense, but when I try to do this reliving exercise I just can’t speak. It’s like I can see it but I can’t say it, and I’m really really trying to form words but I just can’t get anything out.

I’m really trying hard and staying focused with therapy and I really want to complete this step so it would be great to hear if any of you have any tips for getting over this or working around it so that I can continue making steps in getting better. Thanks!

 

[Enaila]

If you have strong well practiced grounding techniques, you may do better visualizing and talking. It also depends I think on how far you have worked through the flashback in the past . I had been able to talk through what I was experiencing as I was flashing, but today a new flashback triggered during therapy .It took me longer than it ever has to get grounded again. I couldn't speak. I knew T was saying stuff to me, but she was like a radio in the background and I couldn't tune her in. I finally heard the ticking of her clock which didn't fit into the flashback and reached my mind for the sound getting out of the flashback. I was too puzzled by the new trauma memory to get words together to share with her.

 

[Still Standing]

Hi All,

Does anyone have any experience with ‘locking up’ or being unable to speak when trying to talk...

Hi Sam, Wow! Is your question timely. I don't know what the answer is but, I, too, have difficulty answering questions and talking. I'm not like this outside of the therapist's office. But, once in active therapy, I become almost mute and take forever to process and answer. I have been pondering on this same thing, this evening. Why can't I talk freely? In fact, it has me exhausted and a bit depressed because I WANT to talk...but only dead air happens. This is so odd and out of character for me. There is so much I want to say, too! But, my head is so full and I don't know what piece of information is needed to share. It is like being on a merry-go-'round and reaching out to take the ring but watching it go by instead, and wondering if catching the ring is most important. Good post. Maybe some others will have a better answer to your question. Welcome to the forum, BTW.

 

[Hopeforlife]

Hi Sam,

Yes I am exactly the same! It is so difficult and frustrating to have the thoughts/words in your head and physically feel them within your being but not be able to say or release them. For me it is breaking my heart! So I can relate.

At this moment I am working with my therapist on giving a voice to my mute inner child and hopefully through this it will help me be able to finally get this mass of hurt out instead of burning my core.

Take it easy maybe you are just not quite ready to talk about things just yet. Welcome to the forum.

 

[MyWillow]

For those that are curious Google “Broca’s Area and Trauma”. Totally normal to lose the power of speech. As a scientist understanding this really helps me. Add Bessel Van Der Kolk to your search as well. He is da bomb.

 

[Deleted member 8714]

@Sam , Maybe start with drawing and writing it out instead of speaking. I write it all out and/or draw it, and then give it to a T to read. It's a copy I allow the T to keep. That way I don't have to speak it.

 

[barefoot]

Yes, I definitely relate to this - my voice often gets ‘hijacked’ in therapy sessions when we’re diving into in hard stuff and, well, whenever I’m trying to express any feeling at all, really!

Maybe your T’s reliving exercise isn’t something you’re ready for or something that’s helpful for you at the moment. You don’t have to relive and re-tell every detail of every traumatic experience for therapy to be of value.

 

[Missycat]

I can relate to this too. I just cant say the words. I did emdr as well as talk therapy and you dont have to actually talk through the trauma when doing emdr. To be heard and talk about my trauma has been / is so important to me so i email my t and then she will know what is upsetting me so will ask questions.
I wish i had the answer .. just know that you are not alone.

 

[Still Standing]

Thanks MyWillow, :) for the suggestion to look up Broca's Area and Trauma along with Bessel Van Der Kolk. I am going to do just that. Not being able to talk but, instead, sitting and looking at the floor, locked inside my spinning head, truly upsets me. To understand why this happens will hopefully bring my voice back.

 

[Still Standing]

For those that are curious Google “Broca’s Area and Trauma”. Totally normal to lose the power of...

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU, My Willow! I just sped-read (:)) "Broca's Area and Trauma." The tears are threatening to spill over their boundaries. I am NOT crazy or weird...well, maybe...but, what a joy to understand what the brain is doing when I have to answer questions or talk about stuck points in CBT! I have been beating myself up for having such a difficult time in therapy. The past two weeks have been torturous over the CBT homework and then trying to address them with the T. Now that I understand the war that my brain is waging, and I can now better try to work past the blockages. Everyone who has replied in this thread, about the same issue of not being able to talk well in session, needs to read this article.

 

[MyWillow]

Glad it helped. Remember though it says you are outside your Window of Tolerance. I joke that mine is about 2mm wide lol...got a fair bit of experience with this one ;)

 

[Deleted member 45661]

Thanks everyone :) I’ll definitely read up on Broca’s area. Hopefully i’ll Find a way to get the words out one day soon.