Does facebook trigger you? (if not, i could use your insight!)

[littleoc]

Hello :)

Facebook shows you all kinds of things that you agree with, but also things that bother. Political, relatives you'd rather not be related to, -- and sometimes information blurbs such as "your brother got 48 likes" when you got less. You know -- useless stuff.

Facebook has admitted that they did an experiment of how they effected moods in humans, which was not ethical because it was done without participant concept.

The news comes after Facebook was heavily criticised for recently conducting experiments on its users.

Back in 2014, the site looked to manipulate user's emotions by tweaking the News Feed of hundreds of thousands of users.

Some were sent an onslaught of upsetting or negative posts, while others were given a barrage of positive posts to another group.

A number of critics highlighted the potential dangers of this type of manipulation, following the publication of two separate studies from the University of Houston which linked Facebook to depression.

Source: Facebook IS making you sad this Christmas, and here's why

A number of critics highlighted the potential dangers of this type of manipulation, following the publication of two separate studies from the University of Houston which linked Facebook to depression.

Source: After reading this, you'll probably NEVER trust Facebook again

Facebook is weirdly known for doing secret, not-board-of-Ethics-approved studies. Especially purposefully crashing phones and laptops to see how much it took to get used to quit using Facebook. (They claim that the answer is never.)

This really doesn't help... a lot of thing.


Seeing people have a good time is said to be the major contributor to depression, but it's complex in people with trauma. For example, I often compare how many likes I get versus others, for general support, and then begin to feel lonely. And unwilling to admit that it's upsetting me. Like it's... shameful?



What are your thoughts? :)

 

[Swift]

Are you interested in a totally nerdy rant, or would you rather hear from people who are at the same place emotionally? (Non-FB user, ex-social media manager and cybersec consult)

(Either is fine. Just didn't want to derail)

 

[Mee]

I would be interested in . The nerdy rant as my knowledge is so small.

Re facebook. I turn it off regularly.... The whole thing... The thing bigger than logging off. If I feel weird. It goes.

I don’t leave pictures there any more.

I am only friends with people I actually know. ( oh, one exception, ) and like. If I cease to like the person.... I unfriend them. Brutal? Maybe. I don’t care.

I don’t care about likes and I cannot expect to receive many as the number of people who see this few things I post on my wall is small.

I switched ooff ALL social media for a fortnight recently and felt much happier. But then there is the social out let thing.... And not wanting to go out .

 

[littleoc]

I switched ooff ALL social media for a fortnight recently and felt much happier.

That's the exact reason I'm only four times a year or so. I try to force myself, thinking I'm trying to connect with people, but I think that's a distortion. I am becoming more sure of that.

It's safe to interact in a way where you can just stop talking if something goes... weird.

@Swift I was looking more at people at the same place or not at the same place -- either was at one point or never let it bother them (so they can tell me their thought processes and I can practice using those). But! I absolutely love nerdy stuff, so if you think it can help (increasing knowledge can give a user a different kind of comfort!) then please feel free to share! :D

 

[Deleted member 42984]

To me, Facebook can be a big stressor. There's simply too much information to process and sometimes it really gets too much. I try to cut out all the unnecessary information, especially negative shit and I unfriend people who only posts things that upset me. But getting likes is nice, I sometimes post stuff and then wait eagerly for likes, and if no one likes my post I delete it! Yeah, I know, it seems that I am dependent on likes, and I probably am.

 

[bellbird]

Hey @littleoc , I get the same re: facebook and loneliness. For me, a huge trigger for loneliness was on my birthday. Like facebook even tells people when it's someone's birthday, and yet some people (who I used to consider my closest friends) (who are of the 'happy birthday' wishing kind) just wouldn't even say anything. Year after year. And it made it even worse that I could literally see they were online.
Also the comparing myself to others about number of likes; it sucks too.
In the end, I cut facebook out. I still have the app, but typically the only times I go on are when I get a notification that someone has mentioned me in a comment. It helps that messenger and facebook have separate apps. Despite losing that "social" aspect of my life, as it seems the only way people announce anything these days is via facebook, it does help me feel better not going on.
Anyway, you're not alone.:hug:

And @Swift : please share the nerdiness :D

 

[Emotional girl]

I got rid of my Facebook at the end of last year because it was having a negative impact on my mental health.I was doing far too much compare and despair and it was dragging my mood down.I still compare and despair on different sites (including on here) but it isn't as bad as the problems I had on Facebook.

 

[somerandomguy]

I'm not the kind of person you're asking to comment - I'm sometimes triggered by content I see on Facebook and then try use it as exposure therapy - but I think the lonely feeling and comparison to others is pretty universal to all social media users, not just those with trauma issues. Facebook knows jealousy and comparison is one reason people return to the site again and again. It's human nature.

That false sense of connection - you think you're connecting to others, but you're not really - is one reason I'm trying to stop using Facebook. Unfortunately, I'm the social media manager at my job! I'd probably delete myself off of it if I wasn't.

 

[Mee]

Re birthdays..... I only recently learned that this can be hidden on face book. I object to that kind of info being available.

 

[intothelight]

I guess I look at Face Book as a way to keep in touch with family and friends that are not close by. My focus is on updates, events and pictures that are shared. I have a support group that I am a member of and also a group that has the same breed of dog that I do. Instead of waiting months or in some cases years to sit down and view photos, I get a chance to see them and share in the life events a lot sooner. I guess I don't worry about how other people use social media as their choices are theirs' and likes don't mean a lot as I'm not posting anything for affirmation or approval.

When something is just creating discomfort or becoming too much distraction then it is time to walk away from it. Nothing replaces human face to face contact and I find that when I am isolating I could "trick" myself into believing I was maintaining contact and that is when I walked away. People need to maintain levels and do what is healthy for them and that can change over time.

 

[Mach123]

Yeah, I shut it off. I had the same problems or got myself into the same situations I would have in any group. Even the news I watch now as limited as it is, I'm thinking I have to shut it off again. I can watch TV now though I still have to leave the room or cover my face sometimes lol. There was a time I couldn't even do that so lots of people feel like you do about it. You don't have to look at it though especially if it's making you unhappy. (That sounds silly but I had to have people tell me things like that? I hope you understand.) If you need it for something on FB open a new account and block everything except the stuff you need. Mine is like that now.

 

[katiem]

I use Facebook to feel connected to people I don't see often. I have lived all across the US and there are many people, including one of my children, that I only get to visit once a year or less. I also enjoy photography so I am in a couple of photography groups, because I like to see other people's work. If I see a post that upsets me, I hide it and hide all posts from that particular source ( not from the friend that shared it, but from the source). I agree that Facebook can trick you into feeling more connected than you really are. It can bring up good feelings, but it is not the same as getting out there and actually spending time with people ( something I struggle with constantly). Facebook has its uses, but if it is making you feel bad based on the number of "likes" you get or how many people are wishing you happy birthday, then it is feeding into your sense of isolation and that's not healthy. For me, cptsd has always made me feel invisible to people, like maybe I don't really exist, so I avoid Facebook if I find it is making me feel ignored, or making me think the whole world is having way more fun than I am!