Better off without therapy?

[LilyRose]

i have a question about therapy.

i've had about 6 "sessions" with my therapist when he kind of gave up on me.
maybe he wasn't the right one for me idk.. problem now is... i feel like i was doing better before i started, and now i've been without therapy since a few weeks again, i'm starting to get a bit more calm again. have to say i still have trouble sleeping, nightmares, getting angry and panic atacks and hypervigilance and all that stuff... but it is manageable i think...

could i really be better off without therapy or could i be fooling myself and is it a form of avoiding?

 

[Mee]

It gets worse before it gets better sometimes.

And progression is not linear. In general I have made progress but this week has been . I am hanging in there because it’s possible to get better.

If I felt my therapist was ‘giving up on me’ I would feel uninspired too.

 

[Still Standing]

I can't answer this for you. I can only speak of my own situation. I took care of myself for years and years until one day, I acted out in front of a doctor, trying to defend myself from him. All he wanted to do was help me by injecting my shoulder with a cortisone shot. But, somewhere in my thick skull I lost all coping mechanisms. It was terribly embarrassing and upsetting. So, at 67 years of age, I made an appointment with a psychologist. He just happened to be a PTSD specialist. Thus I entered counseling. Perhaps you can stuff your problems deep enough that you can keep them under control, perhaps not. But, if I had a suggestion, it would be to deal with them now so you don't waste your life trying to cope and and stuff your emotional distress into the far regions of your heart. It will affect how your interact with others, treat your SO, and your children and your co-workers. You may think you are better now but someday it is going to catch up with you. I am amazed at how warped my thought patterns are and my self-protection and coping skills, too. I thought I was pretty normal. I thought I could hide my pains, showing no one. I have been very wrong in these views. I would suggest you find a psychologist or therapist who specializes in PTSD. Your situation will not be too much for them. Were you diagnosed with PTSD? If so, stick around here. There are many supportive people here that will be happy to encourage you. It has been a help for me, big time.

 

[Justmehere]

Your therapist wanted you to go back and get more testing for the symptoms you have from TBI and PTSD. He didn't think he could help - but that's very different than therapy not being helpful at all. He's just one person. It's common to need to visit with a handful of therapists and types of therapy before finding the right fit. It's also common that therapy will lead to symptoms getting worse at first. It may be that you need a little more treatment and recovery from the TBI, and more TBI specific counseling and treatment, before being able to do trauma work. I've had a couple of therapists point blank tell me they couldn't help and more than one say I couldn't get better. It took time to find the right treatment for me, and while I have a ways to go, I've disproved all the nay-sayers already.

 

[Emotional girl]

I agree with @Still Standing seeing a therapist who has experience in dealing with PTSD makes a big difference,also having a good connection and therapeutic relationship really helps as well.I would say do not give on therapy just because you have had a bad experience,it took me 16 years to find a psychologist who deals with high intensity cases and really got to the root of my problems and I am sure if you found a person who deals with your specific problems then you would get on better in therapy.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I always feel threatened on the day I have therapy, but isolation is not helpful. I just will myself to get there and then I start being able to settle in. Some obstacles at the moment but I know therapy with a trauma therapist is worth every minute. As we grow and change, I think some resistance goes along with this. It’s the unknown that worries me. It’s always just a dream though often just anxiety that gets in my way. Don’t give up on the process. There will be peaks and valleys and also some long, wide views that you reveal yourself and can affect change.

 

[LilyRose]

I can't answer this for you. I can only speak of my own situation. I took care of myself for y...

i got angry with my company doc too... and after a second time he told me i was getting more agressive and he was thinking about ptsd which made me even more angry... but he probably was right since i got diagnosed with ptsd.
my therapist is specialised in ptsd. years of experience. but he told me i don't have the classic reactions or something.

I always feel threatened on the day I have therapy, but isolation is not helpful. I just will mysel...

i was forcing myself to go to therapy. i was forcing myself to tell my story. and because i told him without crying, he says its easy for me to talk about it. even if i tell him i do not feel good about it. after my first session i drove home and i could not stop the flashbacks. had a panic attack in the car... its like those feelings are not important because he couldn't see them. he blames it all on my tbi.
for 3,5yrs multiple docs told me no ptsd, just tbi... then one doc says no... kind of forced me to get tested for ptsd, get diagnosed with it, which i didn't believe, if they weren't pushing me and bothering me i would be better off..
they told me i really needed therapy for it, and i probably got tbi AND ptsd... they "forced" me to talk about it, i get worse, and now its like sorry you are too difficult and don't know how to help you...

sorry if it doesn't make any sense.. i think i'm just confused by it all...

 

[blackemerald1]

@LilyRose yeah you sound confused and I don't blame you. However just because a therapist says he cannot help you doesn't mean you should just give up. Some therapists are not good at their job and I don't care how experienced they think they are.

Sometimes it's simply a wrong person fit (not meaning you are wrong...but you both don't communicate well issue).

Sometimes it's not the right time....meaning you are not ready for therapy.

However before you toss it all away try another therapist.

Good luck,

 

[Justmehere]

I can totally talk about my trauma without any emotion. That's not that unique and doesn't rule out PTSD. My therapist says my lack of emotion is actually a trauma response. He may say he's skilled to treat trauma, and his termination of your care has to be painful, but I wouldn't stake everything on his one opinion. You have other opinions that are at least as valid that therapy can help.

You've been 1 work comp therapist. Try consulting with others. Can you ask one of the providers that diagnosed you for other referrals?

 

[LilyRose]

@LilyRose yeah you sound confused and I don't blame you. However just because a...

i told them i wasn't ready. i just started work again after a year off. and they needed me to take a class for 8 weeks at the same time. but if i didn't do what they wanted i could have lost everything.

at my job they have a special provider and care for ptsd. they diagnosed me and they have a list with specialised and closely watched psychotherapists. mine was on that list. my doc sent me back to them for eval and to check if there is something they can do. don't know when that will happen. he also says i'm stuck in my emotions...
i just feel they made me like this. they pushed me over the edge without a safetyline.. and now i have to climb out by myself.

 

[Justmehere]

Did your workplace require trauma therapy? Do you have the option to keep the job and not do treatment?

I can see why you are reluctant to return to therapy after seeing a therapist you didn’t want to see anyhow dropped your care.

If you are not ready you are not ready.

It’s important to keep in mind that therapy didn’t cause PTSD. Seeing that therapist stirred things up, but if things were going great to begin with, there would be no cause for your workplace to suggest treatment.

It does actually sound like they are trying to find out about other treatment options... but perhaps not quickly enough and this is making things worse? Do they know how much you are struggling now?

As for the original question and your desire to not return to therapy: you can say no to to treatment. The outcome might be that your symptoms stay where they are now and don’t improve, or worsen, and/or your workplace expresses concerns or etc.

But at the end of the day, I want to validate that you can say no to engaging further treatment. There are pros and cons to seeking out treatment. If you have weighed out all the possible options and decide to not continue seeking any treatment, then that’s totally your right to make that choice.

But I sort of get the sense that you are more pissed they didn’t match you up with someone who could better help? Instead of leaving you hanging and waiting like this, and without support at the moment. Is that right? If so, then it might be more effective towards your goal of feeling better to ask for better care, not less care.

 

[LilyRose]

Did your workplace require trauma therapy? Do you have the option to keep the job and not do treatme...

it was a workrelated incident where i got my tbi/ptsd. so they do have a say in this. if i don't do it, they will say i am not cooperating in my care and i could lose everything... no presure there....

i know therapy didn't cause ptsd... i'm still not sure i have ptsd... i was sure i didn't. but they are. it wasn't going great, but i was told it was because of my tbi and i could learn to live with it. so i was working on that. but they kept pushing me and weren't listening and that made me get out of control...

they are searching for me yes. my doc does not want to let me go. they do not no how much i'm struggling.

if i say no, i will lose my job. and with that my income. can not affort that.

i am pissed they pushed me this far and leave me hanging... i've told them before it started it wouldn't be a good idea but they wouldn't listen.

i allready lost my original job because of the incident. they placed me at an other department within the organisation. but its not official yet. if they say no i will have to find something outside the organisation. the whole process will start all over of finding the right job and all the stress. i've been living with this uncertainty for 4 yrs now along with not knowing if i was going to get better... it's killing me.