To make a long story short, I am moving my mother from another state to live with me because her home is being foreclosed upon and my sibling who is in town with her refuses to help her whatsoever. She's almost 70 years old, she is "physically disabled" and does not have a car. She is very narcissistic and I believe if she doesn't suffer from narcissism, she definitely has some kind of personality disorder and/or mental issue. She's a very emotionally abusive person who has been very degrading and who has stolen money from me and took out several credit cards in my name starting when I was about 10. I disclosed incestuous abuse which she didn't believe. On and on, I couldn't name everything she's done here but you get the gist. She just sucks but I love her because she's my mom and I feel responsible for helping her.
I don't want to make myself sound like a victim here. I have always felt responsible for the well-being of my mother and have taken care of her as best I can even out of state. But something is already bugging me and I don't know how to approach it or deal with it given how she is and how stubbornly combative she gets. Any boundary you place she bullies into submission and tramples over
I began my spiritual journey a couple years ago. My mother is even hostile toward people's relationship with God and church. It's like she's jealous of myself and my brothers love of God and always has to point out how we don't measure up to God's standards (shes not spiritual), as if she's some authority. I recently applied to work at a church and am so excited at the possibility of working in a place where I can focus on and build my spirituality. It's amazing to me! Ive been so horribly jaded and bogged down and yet haven't felt so excited about something in a long time! I hope it works out. However, my mom responds with her criticisms ("the church is full of hypocrites," "they're all backstabbing liars" etc). I said firmly but respectfully to her "I can't have that if you're living here with me. I can't have that negativity, especially if I'm working at a church". She responds with "I'm allowed to have my opinion if I want". Hell... You're going to be under MY roof so keep it to yourself lady, is how I see it. She's not expected to pay for anything and will sleep in my bed while I sleep on the couch. How dare she.
She is the kind of person who will steal from you but keeps tabs of everything she ever bought you. "When you where 12 I bought you
..." and you always feel like you're owing her for your own life practically.
Anyway. How do I deal with her hostility/jealousy/negativity toward spirituality while I live with her? I'm trying to make our living situation as temporary as possible and get her into a senior living place ASAP. I just worry about the stress this is going to put onto me, as this is an area of my life I'm very protective over because I love God so much and spirituality helps me more than anything. I don't need help with ruining good things in my life. How do I not end up exploding on this pathetic person? She doesn't respect boundaries but in fact finds ways to trample all over them
Help. Anything please
I don't want to make myself sound like a victim here. I have always felt responsible for the well-being of my mother and have taken care of her as best I can even out of state. But something is already bugging me and I don't know how to approach it or deal with it given how she is and how stubbornly combative she gets. Any boundary you place she bullies into submission and tramples over
I began my spiritual journey a couple years ago. My mother is even hostile toward people's relationship with God and church. It's like she's jealous of myself and my brothers love of God and always has to point out how we don't measure up to God's standards (shes not spiritual), as if she's some authority. I recently applied to work at a church and am so excited at the possibility of working in a place where I can focus on and build my spirituality. It's amazing to me! Ive been so horribly jaded and bogged down and yet haven't felt so excited about something in a long time! I hope it works out. However, my mom responds with her criticisms ("the church is full of hypocrites," "they're all backstabbing liars" etc). I said firmly but respectfully to her "I can't have that if you're living here with me. I can't have that negativity, especially if I'm working at a church". She responds with "I'm allowed to have my opinion if I want". Hell... You're going to be under MY roof so keep it to yourself lady, is how I see it. She's not expected to pay for anything and will sleep in my bed while I sleep on the couch. How dare she.
She is the kind of person who will steal from you but keeps tabs of everything she ever bought you. "When you where 12 I bought you
..." and you always feel like you're owing her for your own life practically.
Anyway. How do I deal with her hostility/jealousy/negativity toward spirituality while I live with her? I'm trying to make our living situation as temporary as possible and get her into a senior living place ASAP. I just worry about the stress this is going to put onto me, as this is an area of my life I'm very protective over because I love God so much and spirituality helps me more than anything. I don't need help with ruining good things in my life. How do I not end up exploding on this pathetic person? She doesn't respect boundaries but in fact finds ways to trample all over them
Help. Anything please
