Given up on you?

[Supervixn]

Has anyone ever just given up on you? How did you get through it?

 

[Tim_Holgate]

my best friends did (I knew him for about 13 years), and it sucks for about three months, didn't help anything at all (I should say I told a lie to him to hide what was really going on). Then after that I decided that he was just a bit of a jerk (totally didnt understand any mental health issues, was not helpful to people with them at all). Going to uni really helped I found, as I pretty much walked away from the stuff. You get through it eventually, it just really sucks for a while

 

[Freida]

Yep - once I started treatment a couple friends who just couldn't cope with me being "broken" bailed on me and it was devastating. It caught me completely off guard because I didn't expect it. Getting thru it just took time - and accepting that it wasn't about me. It was about their inability to cope with what was happening to me. But it still totally sucked.

The good thing was that eventually the hole they left was filled in by people who brought much more to my life.

 

[shimmerz]

So many people, yes. It ripped my heart out at first.

I am experiencing this past month another painful breakup. Looking at what has happened in retrospect I recognize I didn't have healthy relationships in the first place.

As my therapist says about this most recent one? 'Time to trim off the fat anyway'. And I agree with her. Back to hanging with people who have empathy and compassion. Anything else is totally unhealthy for me. That is the intellectual process though. The emotions are a challenge.

 

[Mytime]

There’s a saying,

People are in your life for.
A reason, season, or
A life time.

 

[EveHarrington]

Most recently?

Cried. A lot.

Fawned like craaaazy.

Cried even more.

Final acceptance came after a few months. It still hurts. I’m still processing it.

My dad gave up on me, too. That one hurt like crazy. I didn’t fawn. My fight instinct came out instead. Funny how different people cause different responses.

Hugs.

 

[Mee]

Oh yes. Not just this trauma but I have a chonic health issue that had dome impact and people ran then too.

I see it mainly as natural tbh. I’m.not so much fun As I used to be. and I am not the person they became friends with.

For some the trauma incident challenged what they knew about me or others involved.

For me this is actually a huge part of the issue of retraumatisation. When I was unwell if was ’meh’ i’m me it doesn’t matter. But with ptsd I am a different person and the lack of validation for things like saying I was raped (in a society where we have stats tostate how rare false allegations are and how rare prosecutions are) made me feel extremely vulnerable. Still does.
I see those people as bystanders in the rape culture frankly, thus a little culpable and so..... I should not wsng their friendship.

BUT : I find the insecurity aspect for me of this, a guilt, is a huge impact.

How have I coped? This part i would say id my biggest struggle and I find that really peculiar because I was not a person who needed people before.

Good luck! I hops if you get answers you shard them

 

[Supervixn]

Thank you all so far for sharing such personal experiences... We are stronger people than most. We have more scars but we also have purer hearts. I am so proud of you all from what I've read here so far :)

 

[MrMoonlight]

If given up = flat let my ass then yes. It's the only relationship I know.

I think I also push people away unconsciously as am means to feel safe..you know protect myself.

 

[Supervixn]

think I also push people away unconsciously as am means to feel safe..you know protect myself

Ugh me too. Do this all the time

 

[Mee]

Ugh me too. Do this all the time

I do it consciously . I will say a very nice good bye to people sometimes, an ’its not you - its me’.

 

[Supervixn]

"I love you"

(One day later)

"Get tf outta my life we're done!" (100th time)

(Three days later)

"...hhay......"