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Stages of recovery

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Personally, I know that I flow from one stage to another not in a linear line, but more in a wavelength. I will never be cured of PTSD because my traumas started as an infant and have had several near death experiences as an adult. It’s hardwired. I do have times that I am very functional and rational, but I dissociate frequently and have intrusions that come uninvited. I think the list might oversimplify the treatment of PTSD, as if you can go to a treatment center for a month, pay them thousands of dollars, and come home as confused as ever.
I remember when I was in the “emergency” phase and agree that I was 10000 times more dysfunctional and suicidal than ever. I would ask my therapist at the time how f*cking long is this going to last and he could not give me a time frame. It seemed like forever. It all seems overwhelming if I overthink it. It’s better if I take one day at a time, deal the best I can, sometimes better than others.
I can identify with each stage but for me they wax and wane, keeping me ever hyoervigilent.
 
Ehhhh....

I zoomed through the first four stages immediately, skipping the numbing stage altogether. I don’t really think it’s the best model considering I went through so many stages boom, boom, boom but I’ve been in the last stage for almost a decade now? I’ve agreed with other recovery models more.
 
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