Relationship Abrupt exit

[chocolatesauce]

Hello everyone,
First post, I'm very new here. I've been going through a rough time. I'm friends with someone who was a combat veteran and we hit it off once I finally got around to going out with him. As a backstory, he'd asked me out quite a bit but I always turned him down until one day I just figured "why not?" we ended up having a great time and decided we should hang out more. It's a complex friendship, we've slept with each other each time (please don't judge), but we made plans to run errands and the day before when I texted to confirm, I kept getting ignored, so I tried to call, ignored, then the day of, I went over there and he told me I needed to leave. Now, he shared a lot about his army stuff with me including the actual paperwork of his PTSD diagnosis. I was wrapped up in my own anxieties about being rejected that I absolutely know I did not handle this right. I let the situation diffuse for a few days and messaged an apology that I know he saw. It was apologizing for prying into what was going on but I also said that even if he didn't want me around anymore, I'd still be here for anything he needs. I didn't expect an immediate response, but it's been a week since this all happened. I'm a victim of sexual assault and while I don't think I have PTSD, I do remember what it was like when it first happened and I shut everyone out. I know I bombarded him with texts right before his abrupt exit but I've been quiet since then. Should I move on? I've been trying to raise my awareness after I realized I made about every mistake here.


I should probably also mention that days before he requested me on snapchat and facebook and after he told me to leave, I deleted him impulsively. I mentioned that and also apologized. Yes, this was messy.

 

[Sweetleaf]

In regards to your situation - I would just give him space and try to move on. I don't think that there's much that can be done, on your end of things, without making it worse.

That's okay though - sometimes shit just doesn't work out between people. He could have any reason for distancing himself, but, it's best to just let him have that distance, I think. There are plenty of fish in the sea, as they say - find one that you like who is good to you :)

It's a complex friendship, we've slept with each other each time (please don't judge),

I'd never judge, myself - I used to initiate sex/intimacy and such things, so easily, and so fast.
Slept with someone without even knowing their name, at a party once.

I was wrapped up in my own anxieties about being rejected that I absolutely know I did not handle this right.

I'm a victim of sexual assault and while I don't think I have PTSD, I do remember what it was like when it first happened and I shut everyone out.

Ever seen a therapist or other professional about it? Or did you handle things on your own afterwards?
If you feel okay then you feel okay. I am just curious.

Also - all those things I quoted from your post, kind of make me feel concerned that you've got some untreated stuff going on - stuff that could open you up to future abuse potentially. Complex relationships, attachment/rejection issues, past sexual assault - it hits home for me... but hey maybe I'm just projecting. Totally could be.

 

[chocolatesauce]

In regards to your situation - I would just give him space and try to move on. I don't think that the...

I'm bad at taking my zoloft and I was seeing a therapist but need to find a new one because I'm leaving my school (college graduation). He was a really good guy but there was no reason for his departure. I was really open about my fear of rejecting and messing things up and he assured me I wouldn't but challenge accepted, I guess.

I even said that I wasn't telling my mom about him because I usually get ditched and she doesn't need to know unless things get serious and he said he even wanted to meet her. Everything really came to an abrupt end.

 

[Freida]

but there was no reason for his departure

So very often there never is... It's life with ptsd.

I'm so sorry.. .