Too damaged

[ILoveLife]

I feel I'm too damaged. Too far gone in grief for help to actually help even if I let them.
I feel I used to be happy in denial and that dealing with stuff makes me miserable.
Hence the constant giving up.

Anyone relate?
Tips how to overcome this?

Appreciate and thank you all.

 

[MyWillow]

No tips sorry but geez I can relate.

I was quite happy in my land of denial thank you very much. So pissed with my T for opening Pandora’s Box.

 

[ILoveLife]

I was trying to remember happy times and it hit me that I was either too young to get it, or too deep in denial to be actually happy.
And if I don't know what happy is, how can recognize it? Hence, the too damaged freaking wall.

 

[bellbird]

I feel I'm too damaged. Too far gone in grief for help to actually help even if I let them.

Consider someone else in your situation. Would you say they are too damaged for help?
I struggle with this too. I think we (generally speaking) are good at failing to see hope/value in ourselves, yet we are still able to see it in others.

And if I don't know what happy is, how can recognize it?

Happiness is different things for different people.
Instead of trying to remember how happiness has presented itself in the past, how about starting anew? Happiness can be what you define it to be.
Or if happiness seems too hard to describe, try starting with other (positive) feelings.
-what makes me feel a sense of wonder?
-what makes me feel gratitude?
-what makes me feel a sense of contentment?
-what is something I enjoy doing?
For me? I feel wonder when I look at nature, when I look at the stars above my house each night. I feel grateful that I have the eyes to see them, and the brain to process the image for me. I feel grateful that I have a roof over my head. I feel content when I watch tv with supper in bed at night. I enjoy talking softly to my budgie at night and watching as his little eyelids slowly droop heavier and heavier.

It's difficult, I know.
But you are not too damaged, @Sietz

 

[ILoveLife]

Instead of trying to remember how happiness has presented itself in the past, how about starting anew?

That's wonderful and right on the money.
Didn't occur to me that a new set of circumstances might also mean a different approach to feelings and emotions.

But you are not too damaged

Thank you. I know it, rationally, but need to feel it too.

Thanks @bellbird

 

[ladee]

Happiness sometimes, for me, is the little things, like @bellbird mentioned.. I love nature. I love animals, And gratitude. I don't know it if makes me 'happy' but it sure helps my perspective. I have so very very much to be grateful for, and you might be surprised about how long your list is, once you get started. I also am grateful for things I don't have, like cancer, a car note, that I am not at day one of my healing process...
And sometimes happiness, is doing for others... seeing their face light up from a simple surprise, possibly something you made with your own hands... I feel I have redefined happiness as time has gone on.. it's more 'contentment', than say, laughing , feeling all joy joy and movement.

As time goes you will will define what that means to you.. you may have a breatkthru that changes the course of your life.. it can be all things you want and need it to be... even being proud of yourself !!! Let it grow and bloom and see what it means to you, and maybe this time next year, you will have a long list of things that bring happiness to your life.. this is a great question..... you are curious about life and what the good pay offs are going to be, and that makes ME happy !!!

 

[ILoveLife]

maybe this time next year, you will have a long list of things that bring happiness to your life

Hope so! :)
Thank you @ladee

 

[piratelady]

I used to feel that way. I found a therapist (he was my forth try at a therapist I think), that helped me. He listened to my concerns and fears, and broke everything down into manageable pieces. At first, we got me functioning better, then he encouraged me to start building a life for myself, one piece at a time. For the last several years I've been incredibly happy and leading a great life. Of course, in time, I fell apart again, but I appreciate what I have and that I will get back there, in time. I think, with the right support, anyone can be helped.

 

[Swift]

You are not too damaged.
I dunno that I could tell you what "happy" is, as a feeling. Joy and awe are my two big ones to pursue.
Animals bring me joy. Accomplishments, practicing and getting something right brings me joy. Helping others brings me joy.
Nature, storms, art and music bring me awe.
It's okay to have them as fleeting moments at first.
You aren't too damaged.
I don't really think there is such thing as "too damaged", short of being braindead, to rediscover or discover happiness.

 

[ILoveLife]

I don't really think there is such thing as "too damaged", short of being braindead, to rediscover or discover happiness

Thank you Swift. Will keep this in mind.
I've been having good days so this issue is not so much on my mind lately. But I know it will come back since its not solved yet.
We'll see.
Thank you everyone.

 

[Friday]

Being broken isn’t my problem.

Not having enough DUCT TAPE is my problem :shifty:

Broken things can be useful. I just need more duct tape.

 

[ILoveLife]

Lol @Friday

Thanks for brightening up my morning.
:hilarious: