Thinking of quitting

[WAgirl]

I'm thinking about quitting therapy. I like my therapist, I have a level of trust with her even though this is still pretty new. I feel like I'm failing, taking up her time when I can't do this right maybe I can't be fixed. I'm trying to do the work but I can't get relief.

 

[frogthroat]

I'm four months into therapy. All I wanted to do was quit those first two months. I still get nervous before appointments because I feel like I'm spending an hour with someone who knows my history and sees through all my defenses. I was pretty angry at her too at first. Of, course no one likes to hear about their less than amibiable qualities let alone begin to try to change them.
Trauma therapy is hard. I'm a hot mess after every appointment. While I'm good at other things I'm learning I have absolutely no control over my sadness whatsoever. I don't like to be confronted with flaws. I definitely don't like to go down memory lane and have someone tell me everything I learned from my abusive parents was wrong. I'm nowhere near to the processing part of therapy yet.
I hope you don't quit. It took me awhile to see the benefits I was getting from it and I slowly improve - emphasis on slowly. My therapist is proud of me for having a routine that gets me out of the house more and that I can even think positive thoughts. I still am routinely frustrated but that comes with undoing all the toxic thinking you've been programmed into believing. I hurt bad right now but I can do more than I could four months ago. I also can handle my emotions more efficiently to the point of where I no longer drink alcohol.
I hope you pull through the "blah" part of starting therapy. It's scary. It hurts. Sometimes it's just plain brutal but I'm learning important things that will help me move on and have a better life.

 

[WAgirl]

Sounds like time wise we're about at the same place but I haven't quite given up the alcohol yet. I originally started therapy because of some heavy duty depression and while starting that some things at work blew up some childhood trauma. I'm doing CPT which is 12 sessions, I get the work intellectually I'm doing the homework etc but believing it is something else. I've gotten really fixated on the fact there's 4 sessions left and I won't be "better", that I'm doing it wrong. I have a really hard time seeing anything will work and I won't be like this forever. I just don't want to be wasting peoples time. Thanks for sharing your story with me, I'm glad you're feeling results.

 

[Justmehere]

Can you ask for more treatment after the 4 sessions?

 

[WAgirl]

It sounds like I can continue weekly after the CPT is completed although I'm willing to bet my insurance only covers the allotted sessions. I just don't know what's gonna work if this doesn't.

 

[Justmehere]

I strongly suggest gathering more info about your options before quitting treatment.

 

[WAgirl]

Yeah, I know you're right. This is my first time in therapy and my collected baggage gives me the shut ups, plus I'm afraid my therapist will just say "ok, quit". Not necessarily realistic but pretty fear inducing.

 

[EveHarrington]

Are you in the USA?

 

[WAgirl]

Yes I am.

 

[Still Standing]

I get the work intellectually I'm doing the homework etc but believing it is something else. I've gotten really fixated on the fact there's 4 sessions left and I won't be "better", that I'm doing it wrong.

I said almost these same words in the first 6 months of CBT therapy. I was also supposed to have 12 sessions but, as we got into things, the focus was extended because of the depth of my traumas. If you are not making progress, it would be logical to extend your treatment, too, unless you are using an insurance coverage and they are limiting your care. But, this is something to talk to your therapist about. Don't just stop. It is worth it to continue on, if you can.

 

[Innordinate]

Okay, so at first, I was going to say, I quit CBT and seriously regret it. But then I read these:

my insurance only covers the allotted sessions.

4 sessions left

I'm going to assume you live in the states then. Sorry, that sucks.. CBT and any therapy really, varies for usefullness depending on person. I would still keep going if I were you. Might as well get the most out of it that you can. I don't know what your trauma was, and I don't know how many sessions you had prior to the 4 you mention here, but it very much seems like not enough. I hope you can get more somehow, or have a work book you can do at home on your own if you can't.

thinking about quitting therapy

be wasting peoples time.

taking up her time

These- typical of anxiety. Don't worry about it. No seriously, Stop. Your therapist is paid, and probably well. You aren't wasting her time, by the way, but even if you were, and you believe you are, your t is still getting paid. Chances are your t genuinely cares, because honestly, why else enter that field. Even if you believe your t doesn't care? Would you turn down a job that you got paid over $100 and hour to do, listening to people talk? You aren't taking up her time. You're making their paycheque.

 

[ILoveLife]

I say don't quit.

I've gotten really fixated on the fact there's 4 sessions left and I won't be "better"

Even with bad therapy, in my case, I've always took something good out of it. It might take a while to notice though.

Hang on, don't quit.