Relationship Ptsd Sufferers Who Have Cheated On Their Partners, I Have Questions For You...

[Truthful_Whispers]

Well..you are certainly a rarity, Riot. Either those two individuals are blazing a helluva lotta crack, or they are completely & totally asexual. lol

 

[Friday]

@Whispering_Truth... And most men enjoy a bit of rape, and all men are dogs, and no man on planet earth is deserving of my time or respect.

^^^
See why people might call you on those statements about women? You're generalizing pretty damn hardcore right now, man. Which doesn't sound like you / it sounds like you're hurting & venting & lashing out at all women in response to something one woman did?

 

[Riot]

@Whispering_Truth, pardon me? I don't recall knowing you at all, so I'm a little concerned at the assumption about me and those I know, as well as slightly insulted by the conclusion that I lack the ability to judge the character of those I was referring to.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

I AM hardcore. And yeah, I AM pissed. You know...I can take this kinda bullshit...I did...and I have...and I am.. Hell..I have.. many, many times in the past. But when my own mother gets hurt also because of someone's complete lack of decency, it just puts the icing on the cake. I am venting, yes. And...it DOES sound like me, for I have many emotional masks that I am capable of wearing. BUT...it's my business. Everyone else go back to their tea and crumpets. GOOD TIMES! :tup:

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Just my experience... Remember..I did say "not all women". So, don't take it personally. That's not an apology for what I said or how I feel. But, I am going through a lot right now--on multiple levels, from multiple people. Oh well...what doesn't kill me...may hopefully succeed someday and put me out of my misery. heh

 

[StarChild]

@Whispering_Truth, don't say "women" when actually speaking of your ex, and don't say "men", when actually meaning yourself. Really, stop generalizing, and start using your brain again!

BUT...it's my business.

Then why don't you keep it to yourself? Such behavior like now only proves your personal inabilities and weaknesses...

for I have many emotional masks that I am capable of wearing.

By the way, I don't waste my time with people who wear masks. As that's nothing else than just another way of lying...

 

[joeylittle]

No disrespect intended--I don't know what planet you are living on, but it obviously isn't this crazy blue marble. Show me ONE divorced or divorcing woman over 40 who isn't insecure. Even better...show me ONE woman who has a mental illness who isn't insecure. And, if they say they aren't..they are lying.

Just my experience... Remember..I did say "not all women"...

You can see the disconnect between these statements, yeah?

Venting is human, and understandable. When you are going thru shit, acknowledging that you are talking from your experience is always a good thing. Turning your experience into a statement of fact isn't ever going to help, it's just your head eating away at itself. Cognitive distortions are damaging to your recovery.

 

[Fadeaway]

I know I haven't been on much so I don't know what has happened @Whispering_Truth but I can make a pretty educated guess. Last time we spoke in chat a little over a month or so ago, you were at the peak of new relationship high. I am guessing she hurt you bad. I get why you are saying the things you are. You are in what is clearly a great amount of pain. You are hurting, but your words are also hurtful.

I have never met woman, who had guys on the on the sideline as safety net. While I am sure there are some shallow gold diggers out there that might do that, they are the type of women who most women wouldn't associate with do to their raunchy morals. What I do see time after time, is guys going after those women and ignoring the plethora of women who find that abhorrent.

ALL a woman has to do is show some sexuality--push up her tits and show some leg; and men come running.

Bullshit. that is actually a very small percentage of women and statements like that destroy 90% of women's self-esteem. We hear that statement from bitter men so often, and so when we can't get a guy we start thinking we are ugly or fat, even if we are pretty and skinny.

A certain percentage of men put way too much importance the sexual aspects of relationships go after the girls who do heavy flirting. They become oblivious to the fact that these women are the type to go through men like they are going out of style.

These men confuse lust for love and wonder why they got hurt. Then they turn around and paint all women with the same brush. What's worse is these guys generally seem to think they are nice guys. Trust me, women do not perceive them as nice guys. If a guy tells me he is a nice guy, I generally assume he is a bitter jerk, who thinks the guys who are getting girls are all jerks.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

it's my business. Everyone else go back to their tea and crumpets.

You are the one on here making it everyone's business by generalizing and they are incorrect generalizations at that. What ONE woman does not all do.

ALL a woman has to do is show some sexuality--push up her tits and show some leg; and men come running. And, the majority of men will f*ck anything.

Those are the generalizations that lead to eating disorders, horrible self esteem, and a variety of issues.

I was a prostitute, I know how to seduce most. I can and do gain many one night stands that way. I have a sex drive so high that I have yet to find a man able to keep up. Due to my trauma, I go out on near nightly "prowls" to seduce a guy. A lot of the time talking my way into many.

All of that said; your generalization says Im the most likely to cheat. Have I or would I ever cheat? Absoulty a big fat NO!! I have bent over backwards for my ex. Going weeks and months without sex. I am the one with the super high sex drive and he was the one that ended up cheating. So much for that generalization.

A commentment to a relationship is HUGE in my world and I would never have sex outside of it.

Venting is fine, start a thread about it, you are hurting, I get it; but your generalizations are offesive and just plain wrong.

Back to black & white thinking. What @scout86 got me in the habit is doing to stop saying "everyone" and "no one" (black & white; all or none) and to instead say terms like some, a few, 10...in your case ONE woman. The actions of one do not speak for all or even most.

 

[Sammyiam]

@Whispering_Truth

I have a mental health problem but I am certainly not insecure in my marriage. I have been married for 30 years, I have never been unfaithful ever to my husband. I think making wide assumptions about women is very demeaning and that is such a huge problem. Men like yourself don't help saying broad statements like that. Just because you are hurting or have been hurt, please don't lump all women together in one huge statement. It doesn't do anyone my good.

I'm sorry that you are hurting or have been hurt but there are a lot of wonderful women out there, sisters, mothers, daughters, aunties, nieces. Women come in all shapes and sizes always remember that.

 

[My story]

My boyfriend has PSTD he started acting hateful and mean to me...not violent in any way more unloving, hateful and distant.

He is a firefighter and experienced a death of a friend while on call. A month later his personality changed.

I ended up catching him sleeping with escorts.

He was diagnosed with PTSD the therapist said people who suffer from PTSD engage in dangerous behaviors.

Do I blame PTSD on this I am not sure but what I am sure of is the personality change I witness in a short 5 months. I couldn't believe what was happening before my eyes.

PTSD comes in many levels some are effected more then others. So I agree with you that only those who PSTD has effected in this way should answer.

I can't answer the questions as it isn't me who suffers.

I find it so sad this disease takes over ones thoughts and behaviors.

 

[Sweetpea76]

He was diagnosed with PTSD the therapist said people who suffer from PTSD engage in dangerous behaviors.

That's not exactly true... *Some* people with PTSD engage in dangerous or self destructive behaviors. This behavior is not a symptom, it is a bad coping mechanism for dealing with symptoms. In other words, there is a choice being made.

He is still making the choice to sleep with escorts... PTSD does not take over and force people to cheat on their partners or be promiscuous. If he is telling you that, it is an excuse.

Self destructive urges? Sure. Do people sometimes use poor coping mechanisms to deal with them? Sure. Is PTSD making your boyfriend cheat? Nope... that's all him.