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Sufferer Childhood haunting

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Welcome :)

I’m glad you noticed that you came out of abuse a good person. Some people don’t escape from trauma, and end up becoming it. You didn’t. You have PTSD, which is manageable, and you care about your actions and the people around you. That’s huge.

Wishing you much luck.
 
Are you in treatment

I am Not taking meds if that is your question. I gar amitryptylin and posac for about 3 maybe 4 years but i am off since two now. They helped a tiny bit .. nur i couldnt handle the side effects. I was just two tired and still didn't sleep well. It was the right choice to take them back then. I just had child number three and no feelings or compassion for anyone. That was scary! The meds helped me Club ist of that deep hole.

I am seeing a therapist in a regular Basis. Used to be once a week but i can't Manager that frequency it stresses me nur more to take that trip then it really helping me. Additionally i am seeing a therapist kind of guy working dir the City. I think its called family and childcare councelling? He helpes me a lot because this is where i need support. I want them to grow in healthy and Happy. I get to come and talk or bring the kids. This is really great! Been going there for the past 14 months now.
Waiting for my next appointment...

About moving -
Finding a place is really the hardest thing. I have work here my husband can go by bike. Yes practical vs safe!
I talked it through with my therapist and even asked her if she thinks i was manipulating my situation... This stresses me out so much! And it s not like i could be leaving here and time soon.. if i am lucky i can move in Dezember or January maybe.

Gonna try getting a new therapist now. Sie recommended a different medical speciality that she can not offer me, to gain more inner strength and learn coping strategies.

you care about your actions and the people around you. That’s huge.

Thank you
 
Maybe a temporary lower-income place? Or even move back to where you were originally, since you had friends/support system there? Is there anyone there you can reach out to and just tell them what's going on and ask for help finding a place? Church, maybe?
 
Welcome @Moon-as-blue, it was a very long time ago but there was a time circumstances had me living with my abusive mother.
I understand how nightmarishly, painful that can be. I'm glad to see you're in therapy.
You are right, your PTSD will follow you but coping with the Now is so important. I haven't read the other posts, beyond your first.
I hope your husband is aware and supportive. Maybe you can get out as a family with your husband and kids. Just go to a park or look for days museums are free.
You might feel it is best for your kids to not be uprooted from a place they are settled and have friends. I can tell you from my experience as one who made decisions for similar reasons. It's so much more important they have a healthy and happy mom.

I wish you peace.
 
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