General How to mentally heal?

[abandon455]

She acted the same way, even when i calm told her i wasint going to fight with her a month ago. She started yelling and saying don’t talk to me like a child your not my father!! Shes taken me off every medium,now won’t reply to texts. Went from loving me and being a great partner. To doesint want to see me or call me and doesint trust me and does not feel safe seeing me. And felt like she started the fights to get me to lash out and she could grab it and excuse herself. I don’t think she’s coming back. I mean i could be wrong, but it’s hard to see that. She said she’s never coming back because she can’t trust someone that uses her past as ammo. But she kept picking fights, telling me how little she wanted me around and how her career was more important and how angry and basically evil i was and everything she did or up to was none of my buisness and how i was projecting and blaming. Day after day and almost 3 months later yes i exploded and lashed out because that being the only conversation for 3 months or ignored took a toll on me. It’s not like she was being nice and sweet and i just felt like it and did for fun. Even when i told her i didn’t do it for fun or intentionaly. She goes so is it uncontrollable because that means you have anger problems! Either you have anger problems or you wanted to hurt me. It was a double sides sword either way i was going to get blasted or told how awful i was.

 

[shimmerz]

telling me how little she wanted me around and how her career was more important and how angry and basically evil i was and everything she did or up to was none of my buisness and how i was projecting and blaming.

Sounds like you have a pretty good understanding of where she is in your relationship.

Here's the thing. If you keep fighting it and staying hung up on it then you will start living in the past (if you aren't already) and will lose your grip on the here and now. That leads to mental instability my friend.

Trust me, you don't want to go there. Keep walking forward. Don't focus on how wrong she is. Don't allow yourself to be caught up in the injustice that you feel. It won't help you.

Honest.

 

[abandon455]

she hasint spoken to me in a few days and got angry when i told her she wouldn't be cussing at me or character assassinating me because i lashed out if she wished to speak to me, she got angry and said i'm talking to her like a child and if i had any respect for her i would stop now. i just told her if it were anyone else i would not tolerate her behavior and my patience is done. she ignored my text, if she loves or cares about me she will contact me. i will not follow her around like a dog.

 

[shimmerz]

i will not follow her around like a dog.

Really good plan. You need to make sure you are stable through all of this. If she has 'issues' you don't want to be dragged down with them, right? I know it is so hard. Keep strong. Keep well.

 

[abandon455]

If she cares or loved me, she would contact me or make a effort to talk to me.

 

[chiara vietto]

Dear Abandon,
The double standard and the lack of empathy is typical....unfortunately it feels so personal. It feels like we are under attack..
Sometimes it hard not to buy into their on reality. When my partner started to yell at me unprovoked and was uncontrollable..
I really felt that it was somehow my fault ..i had caused this..
But then the more i look back the more i see that if anything i had been making excuses for him or myself..when he showed some early sporadic sign of emotional dysregulation..

Stay strong ..

 

[abandon455]

Got a reply a hour ago asking , why i have not spoken to her. All i was, i listened to you and gave you what you wanted. If you make me a priority and how you used to treat maybe i’ll come back. I’ll let her wonder and enjoy the isolation and pushing she wanted so bad. If all she wants is a career amd to not be around the. She can experiance what it’s like without me since thats all it will lead to.maybe it will teach her that i will not tolerate everything and if she wants me around she can participate.

 

[EveHarrington]

It sounds like a crazy situation. She’s not going to change I don’t think.

 

[abandon455]

I guess,she says she’s tried to text me many times the past few days. I just think it’s funny that her and everyone else only cares now that i’m gone and MIA and gone into my own isolation. I got tired of caring and being told how disposable basically i am. No one cared when i was at my darkest.

 

[EveHarrington]

Get rid of those people or at best just keep them as fluff-friends you only know on the surface. True friends are hard to find. When someone genuinely cares? When they like you even when you’re down or at your worst? Keep them! These people are hard to find.

 

[abandon455]

when no one cared when my depression was at it's peak and sent everyone including her a text that i'm in a black place. please talk to me. no one was there and it's made me slowly isolate. thats why i'm surprised she texted me, didn't care when i could of not been here ever again but me maybe not replying to a text for a few days even if i was warriants a text from her. but when I'm in a dark place and actually need someone woah, forget me she doesint care i need to stop playing victim, tells me people leave when you push them away enough. but i had int replied to a text or texted in a few days man, what's going on?

 

[EveHarrington]

Game playing at its finest?

Do you say you’re both in college? Early 20’s?