Am I Taking The Right Approach Or Do I Need To Find Some Middle Ground?

[catjudo]

When we're depressed, we (or at least I) don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything. At the moment, if I could get away with it I wouldn't even bother getting out of bed. But I do have to get up and about to take care of my daughter.

In an effort to not spend every possible moment curled up in bed, I've continued to schedule things with friends, commit myself to helping with activities at my daughter's school and with a local mom's group I'm involved in. Of course, I'm still taking my daughter to her activities...dance, musical theater, and tennis at the moment. I'm trying to make myself stay somewhat busy so I don't just retreat to my bed, pull the covers up and shut out all the world around me.

But we all know that with PTSD, it doesn't always take that much to make us feel overwhelmed. I feel totally overwhelmed, and I don't make it to everything I agree to/put on my calendar. There are some days when I have to cancel. But for the most part, I'm going out every day with my fake, happy face mask on and doing things.

I don't think feeling overwhelmed from my commitments is doing me any good. At the same time, I know if I weren't making/keeping these commitments, I'd be at home under the covers and hiding from the world. I don't think that's good either because it just lends itself to more thinking and more depression.

So what's the right thing? Do I keep pushing myself to get out of the house even though I know it's overwhelming? Do I say screw it, I can't handle that right now and allow myself to retreat to the safety and solitude of my home for the time being? Is there some sort of middle ground that I'm missing but should be striving for?

 

[goingonhope]

But we all know that with PTSD, it doesn't always take that much to make us feel overwhelmed

Something is always better then nothing.

If I thought this: What with my Ptsd it doesn't always take me that much to feel overwhelmed. I'd then follow that thought with so to heck with it; This and that will go, and soon enough this and that in addition to more would have to go, because god forbid I feel overwhelmed.

I don't think the idea is to avoid feeling overwhelmed. If we're going to avoid anything of the like it seems that it would be more avoiding actually being overwhelmed, having too many expectations upon us for which we're responsible, or spreading ourselves too thin.

Catjudo, you mention going out every day with a fake, happy faced mask. That in itself sounds exhausting. I mean just the mask part would kick my butt; That's more my choose though, I simply don't bother living a mask, but very little, as it gives people the wrong impression of what to expect from me. I just be me and if someone likes who and what they see in me, then they're pleasantly relieved to get who and what they see, and no surprises. This way when I'm strong others get strength in return and when I'm weak, they see that weakness and choose from there.

Too often we think in all or nothing like thinking and it doesn't work. Or, we think we shouldn't feel stuff. I don't avoid feeling when at all possible; I just avoid too much, and too much is sadly unavoidable.

Is there some sort of middle ground that I'm missing but should be striving for?

Yes, there is and it sounds like you could decide what exactly this middle ground would look like for you (when possible) and write it down as a goal (if possible) so that you can manage your life and not choose to overextend it or avoid it altogether.

Middle ground, Yes!

Continue forth, and Yes, Live catjudo, You're not doing anything wrong.

Take Care & My Best,
Hope