• We are a multilingual website again. Read the notice about this.
  • Understand AI use at MyPTSD: all AI use is explained in our AI help page. AI use is by choice here. It exists if you want it, but does nothing unless you choose to use it.

Trusting in therapist/therapy & inner child wants/needs

Status
Not open for further replies.

Snowflake

Platinum Member
I’m struggling to believe my therapist cares about me. I’m not sure if I’m stuck in victim mode or what. I do know my inner child wants her to save me and obviously she can’t because it happened long ago so maybe it’s my inner child that doesn’t believe that she cares. I’m ready to quit therapy-I or my inner child wants/needs too much. And I can’t give it to her.
This doesn’t make sense I know. Regardless, it’s not fair. I don’t think healing is possible for me.
 
As a concept I believe healing is possible for everyone. I know that isnt necessarily a popular stance. Getting there can be really hard and complex sometimes though. What I have decided in the past is that I don't have to believe change can happen in order to take the next right step.

Certainly dont know how to trust in therapy though either.
 
True healing is about ignoring the conflicted feelings that come with trauma.
believe my therapist cares about me.
Most traumatized people have lost their faith in others caring about them. That's the trauma talking. Therapists are there to help people with trauma. Which, to me, regardless of whether I think they care (enough - which is relative really isn't it?) about me or not, therapists help me live day by day in a way that helps me heal.

If a particular therapist is not helping me heal then the deal with myself is to find another therapist who will help me heal before I leave the one I am with. That is given they are not damaging me.

What has been helpful to me is when I decided I was fed up with the conflicted bullshit going on in my head. I committed to close the conflicted feelings by using logic and not feelings. Because my feelings at the time were disasterously chaotic.

Logic
Therapists help me heal trauma --> No matter what I must have a therapist.

No.more.conflicted.feelings. Which was always a relief.
 
True healing is about ignoring the conflicted feelings that come with trauma.

Most traumatized people have lost their faith in others caring about them. That's the trauma talking. Therapists are there to help people with trauma. Which, to me, regardless of whether I think they care (enough - which is relative really isn't it?) about me or not, therapists help me live day by day in a way that helps me heal.

If a particular therapist is not helping me heal then the deal with myself is to find another therapist who will help me heal before I leave the one I am with. That is given they are not damaging me.

What has been helpful to me is when I decided I was fed up with the conflicted bullshit going on in my head. I committed to close the conflicted feelings by using logic and not feelings. Because my feelings at the time were disasterously chaotic.

Logic
Therapists help me heal trauma --> No matter what I must have a therapist.

No.more.conflicted.feelings. Which was always a relief.

I have to trust she does. She’s amazing. It’s the crazy voices that tell me otherwise.
 
I disagree that you cannot help your inner child.

If you provide your inner child with safety and love and whatever else she needs, she won’t be looking to an outside source for them.

It’s your job as the adult self to provide for child part needs....in large part because you are the only one who can meet those needs, and nobody else.

I have had my child part look to get her needs met elsewhere and it was incredibly disastrous. I let her be seen, but I no longer allow others to have direct access for her as she is a child and it’s my job to protect her.
 
I wonder if your inner child doesn't understand the concept of "the past" and that's why she thinks your T should be helping more? If inner kiddo thinks it's all happening now, then it would make sense she/he? would be looking for a safe adult to trust.

Would it be possible to try to have your T focus a bit on what your kiddo wants so she can see T does care?
 
I disagree that you cannot help your inner child.

If you provide your inner child with safety and love and whatever else she needs, she won’t be looking to an outside source for them.

It’s your job as the adult self to provide for child part needs....in large part because you are the only one who can meet those needs, and nobody else.

I have had my child part look to get her needs met elsewhere and it was incredibly disastrous. I let her be seen, but I no longer allow others to have direct access for her as she is a child and it’s my job to protect her.

Yep I think I did too- disastrous

I wonder if your inner child doesn't understand the concept of "the past" and that's why she thinks your T should be helping more? If inner kiddo thinks it's all happening now, then it would make sense she/he? would be looking for a safe adult to trust.

Would it be possible to try to have your T focus a bit on what your kiddo wants so she can see T does care?

I think she is going to talk with her on Monday
 
I disagree that you cannot help your inner child.

If you provide your inner child with safety and love and whatever else she needs, she won’t be looking to an outside source for them.

It’s your job as the adult self to provide for child part needs....in large part because you are the only one who can meet those needs, and nobody else.

I have had my child part look to get her needs met elsewhere and it was incredibly disastrous. I let her be seen, but I no longer allow others to have direct access for her as she is a child and it’s my job to protect her.
Thank you so much, Eve. This is really helpful for me... I know this is @Snowflake thread, but I struggle with this same issue so much, it's like an unending cycle. But for some reason what you have written here is giving me some aha moments.
 
This might be not helpful at all, since I am childlike in some ways but do not relate to an inner child concept, for this reason (just me): as adults we 'think' of what we know about children, from knowing children, and the qualities they usually possess: innocence, etc.

But less so from developmental psychology as remembering some things about being a child: children also don't fret or analyze in the same way adults do; often come up with ideas (even if they are ridiculous to an adult) to solve problems, and what have you. Just like a drowning small child rarely makes a noise.

So just wondering, if thinking of an 'inner child's' needs, has more to do with the back-perspective of what the person needed as a child, rather than a child's actual response? Children rarely recognize what they need, and therefore think what they get is 'normal' or 'average'. Because, too, many childlike characteristics or emotions are not exclusive to children, rather they are exclusive to being human: fear, overwhelm, terror, feelings of powerlessness, etc. They are simply needs (or obstacles). All adults still need comfort, some level of confidence, the feelings of protection, or help (ideally). To feel vulnerable does not mean to feel you are a child- it means to feel vulnerable. If you were a vulnerable child, you might not realize it, nor would know what you need to seek out to remedy it, nor would seek out 'behaviours' from adults- or at least not name them. You'd simply 'do'/ go/ whatever, where you felt better, or less scared etc. It is as adults we assign far more complex meaning.

It may be more that you are aware of the emotional scope you have has a human being- which is normal, and lasts a lifetime. More like recognizing children have adult feelings, not vice versa.

Just a thought.. ignore if useless.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Donation drives

2026 Donation Goal

Goal
$1,800.00
Earned
$910.00
This donation drive ends in
0 hours, 0 minutes, 0 seconds
  50.6%

Trending content

Featured content

Latest posts

Back
Top Bottom