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What Are You Feeling Today? Not Thinking, Rather Feeling! Can You Identify Yours?

I feel so angry! I am really stressing out about having to talk to and/or see my sister. She is such a passive aggressive manipulative bitch. I feel so angry with her behaviour at my wedding, and then her subsequent denial of her behaviours. My psychiatrist said that she has an internalised perpetrator, and she is massively passively aggressive. I really don't want to see her anymore. My psychiatrist said not to spend too much on it. But I was ruminating on it this morning. I really didn't accept how f*cked up my family is, and I wanted to have some family, but my family is not capable of being family. That is reality. Radical Acceptance is the way to go.

If I cut her off then I have to deal with that grief.
If I have her in my life it is massive stress. I barely manage being in my body around her.

Either thing feels so hard and terrible, but either way I will manage. It is not the catastrophe that I am feeling it is this morning.
 
Each day feels like a week.
I am feeling sad, I am feeling hesitant to "move on." I am feeling calmer, I am feeling loneliness. I am feeling guilt. I am enjoying playing piano. I am feeling torn. I am feeling a lot of loneliness, but I do not necessarily want to be around anyone. Apart from maybe S and the clinic.
 
My back and leg hurts. Nerve pain from back. Disc extruded and others protruded pinch on nerves.

Leg hurts. Burns. Cramps. It feels like the tissues are being ripped over a fire. Massaging does not work. Nothing works when it hurts.
I sat up in bed and during the movement i crapped myself with diahrea. I went washroom drifting in and out of sleep and pain.

I got off toilet and also cleaned myself at the sink. After i was done i went back to room. Try sleep.. then repeat. I soiled 3 pairs of shorts.

I have not slept well. My back severely sore and soury. My stomach hurts. My anus burns from acid.

my legs and back hurts alot.
Its nerve pain.
 

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