How do "normal" people react?

[whiteraven]

So, I get that I overreact to things and I believe that it is how we respond to things that creates or increases our suffering.

But, sometimes I think that the amount of overwhelm I have to deal with is ridiculous and my reactions are NOT over the top.

Some of the "minor" things I'm dealing with right now:

Broken clothes washer
TV with no picture
2 sick cats
Car that is not running right (doesn't feel safe to drive), but everybody is telling me it's fine (it's REALLY not)

Every single day there is another thing. Broken dishwasher. Death in the family. Critical illness in the family. And on and on...

So...not counting all the crap that is tied in with depression and anxiety and PTSD, how do "normal" people (without additional psychological challenges) react to this stuff when it is constant?

See, I'm not entirely sure my reactions are over-the-top. If the universe would give me a f* break, I might be able to get on with taking care of the "hard" stuff.

 

[Abstract]

Have you read the trauma cup analogy? I think anyone and everyone has fallout when their cup runouth over. Ours is just almost full to the brim from the start.

Sorry about all that crappy stuff.

 

[whiteraven]

Have you read the trauma cup analogy? I think anyone and everyone has fallout when their cup runouth over. Ours is just almost full to the brim from the start.

Sorry about all that crappy stuff.

Thanks for the reminder, @Abstract. I think my cup has been overflowing for so long that it doesn't feel like it will ever get back to normal/manageable. It just never stops, you know?

 

[ILoveLife]

Normal people would freak the hell out, collapse into depression and possibly begin an intensive string of therapy appointments.

You, however slightly dysregulated, are dealing with it in an awesome way.
Just remember to take care of one thing at the time, and deal what's most important first - like your cats' health.

Sorry things are so rough... Universe is no fluffy kitten.

 

[Teamwork]

I dont know, but I’m with you on the stuff breaking down having to fix it without freaking out. I dont actually freak out but I first avoid, then become desperate, then make the phone call to get a service guy out, then panic for hours before they come. I’m currently watching the water fill in the basement drain every time we shower, do dishes, do a laundry. I’ve cleared the drains through the house and suspect a broken pipe. Have I called the plumber yet? No. Do I need to, yes! I cannot get past the fear of something, so its not been resolved. the side door window got broke, I need a new furnace. But that means I have to ask for help and someone has to come to the house. I at least know the two things that prevent me from easily doing it, asking for help and then letting someone in.

 

[whiteraven]

Normal people would freak the hell out

One can only hope. LOL I have this vision of strong, organized folks who just take things in stride no matter how much is thrown at them.

You, however slightly dysregulated, are dealing with it in an awesome way.
Just remember to take care of one thing at the time, and deal what's most important first - like your cats' health.

Oh, thanks, @Sietz. I try, but...and I guess I did do one thing. I got the cats' meds yesterday, which I'm hoping helps them both.

I dont know, but I’m with you on the stuff breaking down having to fix it without freaking out. I dont actually freak out but I first avoid, then become desperate, then make the phone call to get a service guy out, then panic for hours before they come

Oh my gosh. This! I also have to add that I have NO money to deal with anything, so I think I get even more panicked, with that unhelpful thought, "I will never be able to deal with this" running through my head constantly.

 

[Neverthesame]

Normal people would freak the hell out,

Totally. I've seen "normal" people go off the deep end for far less than what you described @whiteraven.
If you aren't running in circles flapping your arms about, you're hanging in there pretty good.

 

[LuckiLee]

Lots of F bombs!! And just try to tackle one thing at a time while still trying to have a good laugh every day. (even if it's at myself) Which may or may not lead into crying in a ball on my bed. Then get up and do it all over again. Such is life. You can get through it. Again. ❤

Sick cats = check, tv = Google no pic on my xyz tv, broken washer = hand wash or laundry mat, car acting up = I love my local auto parts store (they put your car on that machine thingy for free and they're usually very helpful).... Deep breaths....

 

[grit]

IMHO, you are doing fine, given your plate is full! and I highly doubt there is a normal person out there. Most people would be stressed out about this things or just would not do. What is normal?

 

[Friday]

The ptsd cup explanation

Normal people have stress cups, too. They just don’t have large chunks of them already filled with trauma to start out with. Which means, in general, more room for the day to day stressors to fill and recede. But when they’ve got things like a special needs kid, or spouse with cancer, or have just lost a friend, going through divorce, etc.? Does the exact same thing. With the same results. Whether it’s a long term stressor, or a short term one.

Incidentally, that’s part of where the ‘get over it, already’ mentality comes from. Normal brains, once the stressor is removed? Baseline, again. People literally get over it. It doesn’t sit there, filling up their cup, for years and decades, with them responding as if the stressor is still there, when it’s long gone.

During my good years? I could have a zillion things go wrong in a day and nothing even made me blink. My stress was that well managed. Not including my normal good-in-a-crisis-collapse-afterward-schtick where everyone but me is freaking out, they chill, and I lose my shit. I just had my life set up to be constantly bleeding stress before I needed it to be, and to be burning of stress as things came up. Voila. Virtually Asymptomatic.

 

[whiteraven]

Sick cats = check, tv = Google no pic on my xyz tv, broken washer = hand wash or laundry mat, car acting up = I love my local auto parts store (they put your car on that machine thingy for free and they're usually very helpful).... Deep breaths....

Thanks, @LuckiLee. It occurs to me that I'm doing or have done all of that (to no avail, unfortunately, which is probably what is causing the stress). I do laundry at my mom's (she doesn't mind at all, but I'd like to be able to take care of that myself), but no matter what I do (within my financial means) I can't get the cats well or the car fixed (have taken it to 2 different places).

I'm thinking now that it might not be the actual stuff that keeps happening over and over, but the fact that no matter what I do, I can't seem to come to any resolution for anything. I do try - my cats have been to the vet several times, I took my car in twice recently). When I don't address something, it's almost always because I can't get the help I need or there are financial constraints.

Someday I'll get this quote thing right. LOL

I highly doubt there is a normal person out there. Most people would be stressed out about this things or just would not do. What is normal?

LOL. Well yes, I think you're right to ask that! The more I think about it, the more I see that I'm actually not doing that bad a job given how much is going on.

People literally get over it. It doesn’t sit there, filling up their cup, for years and decades, with them responding as if the stressor is still there, when it’s long gone.

Thank you for this additional explanation! This really helps...