Possible phycosis?

[Deleted member 47600]

I've found myself in quite the situation recently. Just as a little background info- I was sexually abused from the ages of 8-13 before being admitted to hospital at 13 and remaining until 15 and now I'm in a mental health residential placement and have just started college about 6-7 weeks ago.
I am diagnosed with PTSD (and anorexia and depression but they aren't relevant rn)
And recently after starting college dissociation has been a massive struggle probably due to added stress and a little issue with . I've always assumed it was apart of ptsd as been told by professionals but I have become quite upset over the sticky situations that feeling detached from myself and my surround have left me whilst trying to keep up with the busy schedule. So this has obviously came up and I we were trying to deal with this all. New meds, taking things one step at a time etc.. but I keep having big time gaps or memory loss or black out or whatever you'd like to call them (maybe my explanation is off but different professionals are calling them different things) for example. I remember everything up until I got home from college and I was due to go horse riding... the next thing I remember was waking up on top of my duvet still in my horse riding gear - I'd missed college and was just absolutely exhausted even though I'd slept. According to staff I'd gone to horse riding and fell asleep downstairs before being woken up later that night and walking to my bed where I woke up in the morning. Similar things like this where I just can't fill in the middle.
I personally thought this was just a more severe form of dissociation. However the manager and the mh specialist are saying I'm showing signs of phycosis which I don't agree with. But I feel like I won't be listened to. What do I do? And that's if you agree with me-?!

 

[Abstract]

Sounds crazy to think its psychosis from this. If there is nothing else relevant. You would need a professonal to help diagnose it but the obvious first guess would be dissociation of some sort. Is there anything they are saying you believe see hear feel that isnt real? Cartain meds side affects can aggravate this stuff or cause it too. Is the mh specialist a psychiatrist and do they know you well?
Welcome here.

 

[EveHarrington]

Can you share why these people think you are experiencing psychosis?

From what you say here, it sounds like dissociation where you are losing time.

 

[ILoveLife]

Yeah, I don't see psychosis in what you describe either.
Kinda worries me that they see it from this, actually.

Begs the questions that 1) you may not have enough insight over your psychotic symptoms (hallucinations, irrational beliefs) or b) they don't know what psychosis is, which I find odd for a mental health team

 

[Deleted member 47600]

Sounds crazy to think its psychosis from this. If there is nothing else relevant. You would need a professonal to help diagnose it but the obvious first guess would be dissociation of some sort. Is there anything they are saying you believe see hear feel that isnt real? Cartain meds side affects can aggravate this stuff or cause it too. Is the mh specialist a psychiatrist and do they know you well?
Welcome here.

Ahh sorry--- I meant they thinks it's the early warning signs or something. Which still doesn't make sense. Like I'm at college I'm obviously not losing touch with reality? They know me wellish I've been in this placement about 6months but haven't been much of an open book I guess. They said they're not saying it is phycosis but they want to nip it in the bud or something? Which is there passive aggressive way of telling me it is. And they've spoke to the psychiatrist about this, too. I guess I won't know much more until I speak to the phyciatrist and I'll update you guys. I hope this helps

Can you share why these people think you are experiencing psychosis?

From what you say here, it sounds like dissociation where you are losing time.

Quite possibly - I think it's worrying because at my age (teenager) I shouldn't be forgetting things the way I am. And maybe it's my rubbish way of describing how I'm feeling? But dissociation is hard to describe. But I've never heard voices or had delusions or had super fast speech or anything?! The only thing close is auditory flashbacks but we all know that's what is because it takes me back to my past etc

Yeah, I don't see psychosis in what you describe either.
Kinda worries me that they see it from this, actually.

Begs the questions that 1) you may not have enough insight over your psychotic symptoms (hallucinations, irrational beliefs) or b) they don't know what psychosis is, which I find odd for a mental health team

I'd imagine they know what it is however it's not what this placement realise In so who knows. But neither do they specialise in dissociation so who knows! I guess I have mood swings but isn't that part of the dissociation rollercoaster too?

 

[joeylittle]

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[EveHarrington]

Sadly, very few professionals are trauma informed, and even fewer understand dissociation. My community support worker knows nothing about it and when I’m dissociated to the point of not being able to drive, she never shows any concern. It’s maddening that those who are supposed to help you don’t even understand the seriousness of dissociation.

 

[Abstract]

Lilbean,
It sounds like this isnt coming from your pdoc and is rather coming from the staff and I suspect you should ignore it until speaking to him/her.
The other thing that occurred to me is that anyone can have a psychotic break. Its hasnt got anything to do with losing time or dissociation and is rather about extreme stress or lack of sleep. Even brain infections can do it. I wondered if that would make more sense. That they were concerned you were generally overwhelmed enough to risk a psychotic break. Most of the time that has nothing to do with someone having schizophrenia and can be very short lived. I had a brief bout of stuff for a few weeks about 12 years ago and never experienced symptoms before (that I know) or after.

Memory stuff you describe can come from intense phases of depersonalisation. I used to have it happen to me a lot. Did all sorts with no recollection,

Only other thing that would make sense is if you have more subtle delusions they have picked up on and of which you are unaware. Let us know what happens.
Do you have grounding skills?

 

[Deleted member 47600]

Lilbean,
It sounds like this isnt coming from your pdoc and is rather coming from the staff and I suspect you should ignore it until speaking to him/her.
The other thing that occurred to me is that anyone can have a psychotic break. Its hasnt got anything to do with losing time or dissociation and is rather about extreme stress or lack of sleep. Even brain infections can do it. I wondered if that would make more sense. That they were concerned you were generally overwhelmed enough to risk a psychotic break. Most of the time that has nothing to do with someone having schizophrenia and can be very short lived. I had a brief bout of stuff for a few weeks about 12 years ago and never experienced symptoms before (that I know) or after.

Memory stuff you describe can come from intense phases of depersonalisation. I used to have it happen to me a lot. Did all sorts with no recollection,

Only other thing that would make sense is if you have more subtle delusions they have picked up on and of which you are unaware. Let us know what happens.
Do you have grounding skills?

It's coming from the manager of the placement and the mh nurse which have quite a bit of say tbh- they are the ones who talk to the pdoc and influence decisions. They sat me down and told me that everyone was really worried and they want to change me meds. It was a lot more serious then what I'm used to so I was worried. They said that they want to nip things in the bud and when the manager left I spoke to the mhn and I was basically like "What is going on?" And he said your showing signs of possible phycosis. And they said that I was just really overwhelmed so a psycotic break makes sense I guess. But I feel like I've never said anything deluded... but obviously I'm gonna say that I guess. I wish people were more educated on dissociation it would help alot

 

[IceQueencop]

Welcome @Lilbean123,

It’s really hard for people w/o PTSD to understand PTSD. What you’re going through could definitely be due to your meds, especially if they are fairly new. But, I will also say that the more stressed I am, the worse my symptoms get. I can see how coming home from college, where there’s lots of stuff going on (sensory stimulation) and reasons to be stressed would put you into a state where your brain would want to take a break. Then, depending on how you feel about the horse riding, maybe you felt safe there, or maybe you were also stressed by this, but I could definitely see how either way you might dissociate during that time. If you are dissociating your personality might seem “off” to some, and for those who can only see the outside, it may seem like psychosis.

My senses go haywire when I’m under a lot of stress, that’s considered psychosis. For me, that’s a sign to slow down, that I’m doing too much.

Based on my experience, I would tell you that maybe save the horse riding for days when you don’t have college. Leave yourself plenty of time after school to enjoy a healthy snack or meal and decompress, maybe walk or meditate.

Best,
IQC

 

[Friday]

Just a note for the Americans on site...

What we call Highschool is called College (or 6th Form) in the UK.

US
Elementary School
Middle School / JR High
Highschool
College / University

UK
Primary School
Secondary School
College
University

Just because there’s been some confusion in thread about how much autonomy & what expectations would be change a great deal for someone in Highschool vs someone in University.