Therapist is out in left field

[Stephernovas]

Bottom line is that we are in such different pages that I think we are reading two entirely different books.

I don’t know if it’s me that’s guided her astray or she’s really an idiot, but I’m still very focused on treating my blaring trigger of an injury, meanwhile she’s wondering what I want out of therapy, all because I’m not engaged in her demands of what she wants me to be doing.

The last session she posed a question/made a comment about how because I have experienced/felt a lack of support from everyone since my accident it has caused me to be “stuck” now and had I not felt this way it would’ve been “straight forward PTSD”... also she compared another issue I had where it felt “big” at the time, to basically insinuating that the PTSD issues I have aren’t really as big as I am making them. I felt beyond frustrated and extremely upset as I do NOT feel supported. She then asked me what I wanted out of therapy and I got so upset I just started to cry and spend the rest of the session crying in silence. When she asked the question again I told her to “leave me alone”. At the end of the session she ordered me to do homework of writing out one “positive thing a day”..after I just finished telling her (earlier in the session) that I’ve been having a hard time with workers comp shipping me off to a million different treatment providers to have assessment after assessment that all give the same freaking answer (yet the haven’t tried to diagnose my hip/leg issue), but they just send me home with a big list of what they want me to do. I literally have no control in my life rn and instead of listening, you start telling me to do more?!? Why doesn’t she get it???

An hour later I had an appt with my dietitian, and honestly she sat there the whole appt just listening to me and being understanding and client focused. I came in so depressed I wanted to hang myself, and I left feeling completely amazing, like someone heard me, AND through her just listening I was able to figure things out for myself as I spoke.

What TF is wrong with my therapist and why is she demanding I do certain things vs shutting the f*ck up and following what I want to do. I’m so sick of her thinking she is so f*cking smart when what she really needs to do is shut her mouth. UGHHHHHH!!!

 

[Abstract]

You previously said you had a choice to see another therapist and this t's style or therapy or personality obviously dont suit you at all so have you started the process of looking at changing? Sorry its so frustrating. She would not suit me either.

 

[Stephernovas]

I did see someone else while she was out of town, but I’m having a hard time with the idea of ditching her entirely. She has been my only constant that I’ve seen pretty much every week since injury. Even a few weeks before! I think she’s taking my anxiety and etc too lightly and thinks I have more control or whatever than I actually do. This has been kicking my ass and I can’t fake having my shit together anymore

 

[Abstract]

Totally understand what you are saying. Have to say that I dont usually encourage people to leave a t but from what you have been saying I cant see how this is good for you. You are finding her fundamentally invalidating, she is a classic CBT therapist from the sounds of things and it sounds like that really isnt working for you in this present situation. If thats her approach she will continue in the same vein. You even get relief from seeing the nitritionist.

Is there any part of you hooked into something unhelpful in this dynamic with her do you think? Like waiting for her to change tack and hear you/ respond differently etc? If not then what is it that is good about her and the work that you are doing together that makes you want to stay with her. It may be that you just arent mentioning it here. ?

 

[EveHarrington]

She’s a CBT therapist, right? Many CBT therapists aren’t warm and cuddly. They just stick to teaching/pushing skills, and that’s about it. I think you need a different therapist, but I have a feeling things will have to degrade further before you decide to make the jump to a new therapist. You’re essentially wasting time with her instead of working on healing. How much more time do you want to waste?

 

[hithere]

It sounds like your therapist is a cbt therapist and they are trained to interupt you and "redirect" you to what they think is helpful. I can totally relate to this as it's part of my problem with my current t that I'm strongly attached to but I have to quit and get away from as the suffering is too great. The lack of encouragement and really listening to me just adds to the injury. I don't know anyone who has worked with worker's comp that was treated well or who didn't have to fight for their benefits--but they were too injured to fight on their own. I have some people I know who had to hire attorneys to fight for them while they concentrated on getting better. Is worker's comp limiting your choices in therapies?

 

[Friday]

Yep. Still don’t like your therapist.

Even though I also think you were out of line, there’s long-standing reason for the massive overreaction. IE Anything less than an overreaction in the face of all of it would be an underreaction. There’s out of line for no reason, and then for damn good reason.

Straw? Meet Camel’s Back.

 

[Friday]

Spoiler: Unvarnished Opinion

I also don’t understand why you won’t just switch to the other therapist in the same clinic that you get on with like a house on fire. Won’t even have to muck around with insurance, or justify to anyone.

Your job wants you to take all the time you need... but she’s what? Stumping for the insurance company trying to send you back to work when there is nooooooo reason to rush. In addition to aaaaaall the other BS she’s pulled.

Seriously... ditch this bitch.

 

[Stephernovas]

It sounds like your therapist is a cbt therapist and they are trained to interupt you and "redirect" you to what they think is helpful. I can totally relate to this as it's part of my problem with my current t that I'm strongly attached to but I have to quit and get away from as the suffering is too great. The lack of encouragement and really listening to me just adds to the injury. I don't know anyone who has worked with worker's comp that was treated well or who didn't have to fight for their benefits--but they were too injured to fight on their own. I have some people I know who had to hire attorneys to fight for them while they concentrated on getting better. Is worker's comp limiting your choices in therapies?

There’s a few people I want to respond to here but I’m doing this on my phone so it’s hard to quote everyone. This post is basically closest to what’s going on for me. My therapist is a CBT therapist and I really enjoyed her at the beginning of our sessions as she was very supportive and helpful. But then one day she seemed to “turn” and basically demanded I hurry up recover by listening to her every instruction like it’s supposed to cure all.

I’m a very smart and self-aware individual. I know when I need coaching, guidance or someone to shut up and hear me out so we can organize my thoughts together. I never approved for someone else to take the lea don my recovery, and that’s exactly what she’s done which is starting to extend to workers comp “recommending” things for me. What I’d like out of her is for her to return to the person who was trying to figure things out and help me through the muck workers comp makes out of my recovery. It has become apparent I basically have to let them play their game, but I have to hold a strategic position just to get proper care/treatment.

I’m having a hard time battling that AND my therapist. I don’t need every single thought changed. I need support in knowing someone else actually wants to see me recover in a way that I find meaningful. For a while now I’ve felt like I need a therapist to debrief with me after sessions with my therapist. I push myself enough - at an appropriate pace for what I need. She one day claimed I needed to be pushed and basically never stopped. It seems like people like her seem to forget that nobody wants recovery more than the client themselves.

I’m concerned about switching to another therapist in the same office as I believe the overriding practice IS CBT - as this is the most common approach to PTSD - well, at least that’s what that office has said research has found most effective. As well, workers comp has specified that CBT and exposure therapy is the approved treatment for me, so that’s all the are pushing towards. It’s the worst thing for me, and no matter how much I protest (and the reports that come back to back up my claims), they fail to listen to me. Hence the feelings of powerlessness..

 

[Abstract]

Totally understand your feelings and thoughts on this. I also think its quite typically CBT to expect things to be quick. Listen initially and then be more and more prescriptive. In truth I wonder how much understanding of trauma she has. If the whole place is very CBT then you have two choices. Use that self directiveness of yours to find out what you do need, find and advocate for it or look at the other t's in the practice as in my experience adding a couple of other approaches too CBT can totally change their mindset. Also personality and trauma knowledge makes a difference. If they want you to get better then they have a vested interest in you finding something that works rather than staying with something that quite obviously doesnt.

Have you actually investagated what they other t's profiles are? If there is a little other less directive or acceptance based stuff in there it should feel totally different. At the moment you keep hitting your head going through the door but arent ducking. She isn't going to change back as you are in a different stage of treatment with her. She may also be part of the reason why the rest of the system is being so unsympathetic. She must be doing reports to them.

 

[Stephernovas]

Totally understand your feelings and thoughts on this. I also think its quite typically CBT to expect things to be quick. Listen initially and then be more and more prescriptive. In truth I wonder how much understanding of trauma she has. If the whole place is very CBT then you have two choices. Use that self directiveness of yours to find out what you do need, find and advocate for it or look at the other t's in the practice as in my experience adding a couple of other approaches too CBT can totally change their mindset. Also personality and trauma knowledge makes a difference. If they want you to get better then they have a vested interest in you finding something that works rather than staying with something that quite obviously doesnt.

Have you actually investagated what they other t's profiles are? If there is a little other less directive or acceptance based stuff in there it should feel totally different. At the moment you keep hitting your head going through the door but arent ducking. She isn't going to change back as you are in a different stage of treatment with her. She may also be part of the reason why the rest of the system is being so unsympathetic. She must be doing reports to them.

I think the system is behaving how they normally do. Tomorrow (if open) I’m going to be seeking someone else I think. I’m just going to say I’m ready for a change as what’s going on is not working right now

Growing up, I’ve always been dubbed the one who causes problems when there doesn’t need to be any. Each time I was simply sharing my opinion or voicing my feelings, if it was inconvenient, it meant that I was inconvenience.

 

[Abstract]

I’m just going to say I’m ready for a change as what’s going on is not working right now

Well done. You arent being difficult and you dont have to do it in a confrontational way. I dont love her but who knows, she may be great for someone else. They want to save money/resources and if this isnt working for you they arent going to so you getting help that works is win win.