Avoiding dentist and exposure therapy?

[SeekingAfrica]

I've been avoiding the dentist for a while now. For whatever reason it's one of the most anxiety/panic inducing daily things for me. Not sure when it started, but it's only getting worse in time. So any time I actually have to go, it's a whole order. And I've only been able to do for reaaaaaly important unavoidable things, and by unavoidable I really mean that.

In theory I'd like to also be able to go for whitening or things like braces(or whatever I can do as an adult to straighten teeth). But most important thing is, I would like to be able to go when I have toothache without feeling like I'm going to die just making the appointment and needing to set an appointment weeks in advance to mentally prepare. This is one of the things that I have the most severe debilitating anxiety reaction. Like I can't even think about it without getting anxious.

I know with things like going to grocery store(if that made me anxious) you can make exposure therapy plan, break it down in steps. However what can I do if the thing is pretty much a single step? (I can't make an appointment and not go, once it's set appointment that's it). If I have few things to get done, I am planning to space them out in time to be able to do them. I've done anesthesia before and I am still back and forth on using it(well, depends on the procedure). From anxiety standpoint it would seem having the least amount of pain is important, but I remember once when I had anesthesia and the lack of pain wasn't complete, as well as, later on in the day once it wore off, I had a lot of pain. Another thing is, the biggest thing that bothers me usually is the sound of the machines, I feel sick just at that sound, but because they work on teeth(bone) I don't think music completely helps that...But nevertheless, this is not the kind of thing I can keep avoiding or being terrified of(unless I want things to be hard for a long long time).

Even writing this is a huge step for me, even anonymously on a forum, because it just makes me sick to my core. I am so ashamed of having that fear that even writing this in a post has taken a long time for me to get here. Honestly I was planning on keeping that one to myself. So this is an impulse post. I only have one other thing about which I feel the same(gyno) and that one 1. makes more sense to me because of the reason for my PTSD and 2. even going is hard enough, but at least in that area it's more rare that there will be any issues at all, whereas with the dentist I am more certain there are things needing to get done. Ugh. I am sincerely ashamed of this, but...I am where I am and sooner or later I have to start tackling this...so how do I tackle a fear that has pretty much one step? How do I deal with it? p.s. I do have some anxiety meds for panic attacks, but I don't think that is nearly as strong enough for this case.

 

[Friday]

Dentistry is smack dab in the middle of some of my hardest trauma stuff. I’d never have gone, most likely, if I didn’t have a kid who needed to go every 6 months. So I got to know the dentist & office pretty well. I still didn’t start seeing him myself until years later and I also had some knock me on my ass drugs.

I started getting pretty decent regular care, including whitening & non-desperate stuff (going in every 6mo for cleaning, etc.) after that, though.

But it did start with going for someone else, and very very strong drugs.... And I’ve only seen the new dentist for emergency stuff since my son’s dentist retired.

Not very cheerful news, I’m afraid. Except that, for awhile, I did manage it.

 

[Ronin]

I am sincerely ashamed of this

Don’t be.

I mean, pure fear of the dentist, no trauma what so ever? Is extremely common.
Add in trauma, ho boy.

Seconding strong meds, or requesting full anesthesia.

 

[SeekingAfrica]

Not very cheerful news, I’m afraid. Except that, for awhile, I did manage it.

Well, at least I am not the only one. I am sorry you're going through that too, though, it's awful. But it does help knowing it's not just me. I want to go for an overall checkup and then fix the few issues I'm almost certain I have, over the next year. But for now, I'm working up to the checkup itself, even if they don't do anything right away. I'm seeing my psyhiatrist tomorrow and I may ask her for ideas.

I feel the first check up will be hardest as I am a bit late on some issues I know I have, and I just don't know what I'll tell the dentist if he asks me why I didn't come in right away. What if he's from the people that don't really get that anxiety is a thing? I feel sick at the idea that I'll have to explain why I haven't taken care of that particular side of my health in timely manner. Or at the idea of the dentist telling me I have some issue I'm too late on and it can't be fixed other than by removing a tooth or something. Or that I'll need to get something done that will take work with those noisy machines that will take more than half hour...

Don’t be.

I mean, pure fear of the dentist, no trauma what so ever? Is extremely common.
Add in trauma, ho boy.

Seconding strong meds, or requesting full anesthesia.

But that's the thing. My trauma makes it logical to fear gyno, but dentist? Not so much. So I don't know why it became an issue. Maybe because I'm so hypersensitive to noises because of the PTSD. Will ask my psyhiatrist about the stronger meds part tomorrow. I have to thread carefully with that though- to mention that the meds can be used along with anastesia, and also, to not be too knocked out as to not be able to get home afterwards...(though, I may plan for taxi, but still). Uh. Honestly, wrapping my head around this may take a lot more work than one post, but it's a start.

 

[Ronin]

My trauma makes it logical to fear gyno, but dentist? Not so much.

It does not have to be logical, or in direct relation to your trauma, to be valid, real, and needing assistance. :)

So good on for reaching out, and thinking a way around and through, this.

 

[katz]

I can assure everyone here that they are not alone about the fear of going to the dentist ! I looked into it for many years. I wanted to know why - because I was so bad. Worse then any of my siblings. I found an article (I will look for it). It talks about how you can feel both powerless and exposed while you're in the chair.

I have a particular problem because I don't like looking up, with my mouth open. It triggers some really bad memories. So, I sat down and talked to the dentist - away from "the chair", in his office and explained to him how common it is for survivors to feel like this, and why I did.

He said that he had never known about this and listened very carefully. He also told me that he will be more aware of how I feel while he does any work on me. He also assured me that it would be no problem to always have a woman do my cleanings to me.

I urge anyone with this problem to sit down with the doctor - one on one -and tell him about your feelings. You don't need to give any details, just explain what bothers you, and that it "has to do with my PTSD". You won't regret it.

If the doctor won't understand and listen to you - find another dentist who will. Any one in the medical field should be willing to help a patient feel more comfortable when they come to see them, no matter what the reason is.