My Dr. is retarded

[Deleted member 47388]

As I wrote before I've started to recover from both (undiagnosed I THOUGHT) PTSD and even TBI I had for a while due to untreated PTSD. I rarely get pissed, but when I do my heart runs like a wild animal, I shake, my voice bursts and I have to fighting to keep calm. Mainly to avoid misunderstandings or do something I would regret later.

On Thursday I had a call from my Doctor for medical updates and during the call I again reminded him that I'm pissed because they don't listen, that I don't have the correct diagnosis and given adequate treatment. All the sudden he told that I've had that diagnosis before, but I was never told, supported or offered any treatment what so ever during this time.

I've already been hospitalized for severe anger issues. It's like they are pushing my limits and now considering if I rather need help from the correctional treatment when I can't take the pressure. Lately I knife threatened my mother (no police report). I'm not a war veteran, criminal or done anything like that before. I just lost it or perhaps another indicator that I'm not responding to any proper "treatment".

What the f*ck is it that they don't understand?

Victim for modern warfare and terror, I told them about that shit (serious stuff) but I certainly don't ask them to get that part, rather that I've suffered enough in my childhood, walking crazy with a sociopath and the only relative left. I have no family on my own, no other relatives, not a single friend, absolutely no one to talk to, victimized and sexually abused by a black magician for several years and left to fight for my rights, still all uncertain after 13 yrs of suffering.

Tell me I'm not crazy.

 

[joeylittle]

Tell me I'm not crazy.

Sorry, no can do.

I’ll be more specific: mental illness is a complicated thing to treat. It’s made even more difficult, when you consider that many of the symptoms have to be self-reported - and one of the things commonly affected by mental illness is the ability to accurately self-reflect. It can be very hard for the mentally ill to objective perceive reality.

The professionals have to incorporate your actions and weigh them equally with your description of your experience.

What the f*ck is it that they don't understand?

Ideally, what do you want from them?

What are you willing to do in order to experience less suffering?

You’re clearly frustrated - and I’m sure many of us here can validate that just getting through the mental health system, finding the right kind of help, getting clarity around diagnosis....that’s all very frustrating stuff, and your feelings make sense.

I’m wondering what you like to see happen to improve the situation. Maybe talking about that will lead to a better solution.

 

[Deleted member 47388]

Maybe talking about that will lead to a better solution.

That's the thing. Been talking about it each time, but nothing happens. It's 13 yrs now. Medication only doesn't really cure the anxiety with underlying trauma. You know Post trauma, that's never dealt with. You don't need to play stupid to have more information, it's explained in the thread. They all gather information, study the patients and that's about it. I have no desire for bitching at a forum. Treat me fair and you'll see a better side of me. I'm fed up with everything and I don't let any of you even a millimeter closer to violate my integrity.

Look, I've seen the responses and activity here. I don't know a f*cker and I have no reason to be patient with anyone I don't know. I was expecting adult behavior, little more respect and tolerance since we all suffer more or less the same, of various reasons. In other words. There's no need, at least for my own part, to minimize anyone by provoking or practicing mouth-jutsu.

 

[somerandomguy]

You seem to be going on the attack. That's interesting. Why?

Sounds like your current treatment regimen and professionals aren't working for you. That's too bad because a lot of us have found regimens and professionals that work for us, at least a lot of the time. Any chance for a change?

 

[Kubash16]

I’m so confused why you are so angry with @joeylittle. I get being angry and frustrated but I assume you came on here looking for support and help and we can provide that but going on the immediate attack when someone explains another perspective is not the way to do it.

 

[Deleted member 47388]

I’m so confused why you are so angry with @joeylittle. I get being angry and frustrated but I assume you came on here looking for support and help and we can provide that but going on the immediate attack when someone explains another perspective is not the way to do it.

Haven't been here since August 17th and I expected another tongue and understanding around the written if the PTSD diagnosis doesn't tell enough about my situation.

 

[Kubash16]

Haven't been here since August 17th and I expected another tongue and understanding around the written if the PTSD diagnosis doesn't tell enough about my situation.

Please clarify if I’m still misunderstanding. From what I can gather you came looking for strangers to refute your doctors, in spite of the fact we don’t actually know you in person and therefore can’t speak to what you are experiencing/they are witnessing?

 

[Deleted member 47388]

Please clarify if I’m still misunderstanding. From what I can gather you came looking for strangers to refute your doctors, in spite of the fact we don’t actually know you in person and therefore can’t speak to what you are experiencing/they are witnessing?

Well if empathy is that hard you really don't need to bother to answer any of my posts. It's not a must so to speak. I decide wether I'm pleased with the reply or not. I demand respect because I deserve it. Not more, not less.

 

[Kubash16]

Well if empathy is that hard you really don't need to bother to answer any of my posts. It's not a must so to speak. I decide wether I'm pleased with the reply or not. I demand respect because I deserve it. Not more, not less.

Empathy is actually something I tend to excel at and you are right I don’t have to answer. You have every right to like/dislike and feel however you want. I choose to answer because I feel like if I have enough clarification I and others could possibly help. However, you seem to struggle with interpreting our kindness and willingness to help and unfortunately I can’t help you with that. I hope once you calm down you come back on and we could have a more adult conversation then.

 

[somerandomguy]

I expected another tongue and understanding around the written if the PTSD diagnosis

Well, people get PTSD for lots of reasons. You obviously don't have to tell us why you have PTSD, but we're missing a large part of the picture if you don't.

By the way, are you able to change your professionals? I can't imagine I'd be able to do much healing if I spent most of my time fighting with my therapist and psychiatrist.

I demand respect because I deserve it.

That must make life difficult for you a lot of the time. That will make your life here difficult too, if your definition of demanding respect is to attack the site admin.

 

[Deleted member 47388]

Empathy is actually something I tend to excel at and you are right I don’t have to answer. You have every right to like/dislike and feel however you want. I choose to answer because I feel like if I have enough clarification I and others could possibly help. However, you seem to struggle with interpreting our kindness and willingness to help and unfortunately I can’t help you with that. I hope once you calm down you come back on and we could have a more adult conversation then.

I'm 43 by now and I'm doing perfectly fine in that sense. I know what I want and deserve. I don't need to explain a s*it beyond what's already written. You can suck the informaton from whom ever you please, ain't coming from this direction and I have good reasons to remain silent. Life is not always fair my friend and don't be sad, If you knew my situation you would perhaps never return to any forum ever again. Let's say i have secrecy. I don't feed you curious mind, just read the god damn post and reply as a human being, or don't reply at all. Wish you well my fellow PTSD sufferer.

 

[somerandomguy]

I suspect I must be on your ignore list. Fair enough. Have fun playing with your angels, Zen master.