Cypress
Confident
I spent a year in a mental hospital at the age of 13 for trauma-related dissociative disorder ( they didn't call it that in 1980). I was treated with psychoanalysis and it was effective for the dissociation but not really for the trauma. I just started real trauma therapy and am trying desperately to stay in touch with these waves of emotions that come up out of nowhere. After my therapy session yesterday, I was having lots of overwhelming feelings and I felt a presence I haven't felt since I was a girl and it scared the hell out of me. When I was a messed-up dissociated kid I felt that my true self was hiding in a cave underground and that there was a "director" that was in charge of everyday life. The director did not have feelings and could not be hurt and I knew it was part of my personality on some level, I guess. So last night I felt like the director had come back and was asking if I needed help. I am really afraid that this trauma work is going to make me separate again.
Should I email my T or should I slow down the therapy for a while?
Should I email my T or should I slow down the therapy for a while?